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Posted By: Neurolanis Mar 25, 2005 - 04:22 pm

That is horrible. Poor Aldan. No one wants sympathy, but, well actually we do, but shouldn't, but yeah that is very sad. And it is great to see a person stay postive in the long run, despite all the darkness along the way. Yeah.

Catashaera, Princess of Darkness, your life sucked too? So did mine. So does mine. Yeash.

That's right, Ariel. Myself, all that stuff seems pretty empty when you're all alone, all the time. Sigh. I'm so sad! But yeah, films like Star Wars and novels like the LOTR and music like R.E.M. have surely saved me at crutial times..

Dreams are good too. Eating. lol.

Posted By: aldan Mar 26, 2005 - 11:50 am

"speach and language patholagist"
Your mother should be disappointed in your efforts in English spelling...
"speEch and language *YAY! He spelled two word correctly IN A ROW!!!* patholOgist" is how it should read, with the odd capital letters indicating the corrections. Oh, and it's cerebral palsy. I give you credit, you tried a couple of different spellings, indicating that it didn't look right to you. "palsy" is how it's actually spelled. Oh, and surgery is spelled the way I typed it. And the surgery was to remove a cyst.
As for my wittiness, it's my sword and dagger, my defensive weapon. I've learned that anyone can overcome difficulties. Physical ones that may be impossible to overcome (like being a quadrapalegic ) can be overcome with attitude and effort in other areas.
Those who are blind will usually have their other senses increased (unless they are also deaf/mute/whatever) to help make up for the disability. I've worked with the deaf and I've found that they have very, VERY fast eyes. They SEE so much more than we do (as in, they NOTICE more, and more fully) and their ability to make sense of the blur of another sign language speaker's rapid finger movements is amazing.
If any of you are having trouble with depression on a regular basis, I'd strongly suggest that you try to get involved with working with the disabled. It may seem that THAT would cause more depression, but you will learn so much more about the human spirit, and just like Magus mentioned, about how one can learn to overlook the apparent obstacles in the path and instead focus on the beauties beside that path. If you do that, you will find that you get where you were travelling, and you won't have tripped over the obstacles because what seemed so large as you were focusing on them were but a millimeter in height and were not obstacles but stepping stones that helped you rise higher in your journey to the peak...

Posted By: Magus Mar 26, 2005 - 01:32 pm

My brother this past year helped this one blind girl he met at ISU around campus. I myself, along with my brother and sister, have helped out as often as we can with our mother's work. My hair-cutter's daughter has an autistic child, who actually went through my mom's program before being mainstreamed. And there're several more that we're associated with through friends and such.

My mom worked with me with speech, not spelling. As a matter of fact, she usually asks me for help with it, granted that the last time was concerning "Gray" vrs "Grey".

Posted By: Neurolanis Mar 26, 2005 - 03:29 pm

I agree that helping others helps yourself. I does feel good to help out.

I've always been bad with spelling too. It was only a few months ago that I realized cabin was spelled "cabin" and not "cabbon" like I always thought!

Posted By: aldan Mar 27, 2005 - 01:39 pm

*chuckles*
Well, Neuro, at least it appears that once you found out what the correct spelling was, you started using it. Some people don't do that, apparently, and because of that I wonder just what race they belong to, because the only one vaguely related to the human race that does stuff like that is the stereotypical BLONDE race!

Posted By: Neurolanis Mar 27, 2005 - 05:31 pm

ooooo. Aldan wants a slap. You're lucky I'm not a blonde LADY, Aldan!

Posted By: aldan Mar 28, 2005 - 08:43 pm

Note: I said "stereotypical" for a reason. I'm rather lucky, in that while I have blonde sisters and brunette sisters, I ended up sort of inbetween the two, but leaning toward brown. I just have some individual blonde hairs that grow on my head amidst the brown, and so they often end up creating highlights in my hair. I say lucky not only because of that, but also because it makes it easy to find a humorous excuse for when I do something dumb...

Posted By: Talon Sinnah Mar 29, 2005 - 07:20 am

I do not have that excuse. Whenever I do something dumb it is just plain dumb. But hey it is fun when you meet the stereotypical blonde even funner when you befriend her.


Back to depression and my family. I will be the first to abmit that I did not have a bad life, by some comparison I have had a good life. BUT the blood and genetics always gets you. On one part of my family heart disease and depression runs rampit while on the other alcoholism and drug use terrorizes. Mixed together it is a lethal combination. That said throw in the fact you are the middle child and oldest boy most of the pressure goes on you. While I have stayed drug and alcohol free all my life I have had a few boughts with depression. (Mostly caused by stupid and insignificant things.) Then your parents ride you hard thinking you will cause most of the problems when they should have been paying more attention to the other ciblings. But compared to most I have had a good and easy life.

And if I ever find the wise acre who coined the phrase "Nice Guys Finish Last" I will kill him. I hate it when the truth hurts, especially when it protains(spell check Aldan please ) to me. This world holds few morals in high regard and gentlemen come few and far between, and when one is finally surfaced we are rarly acnoledged. Alas we shall never be given our due but we still do what we believe is right and I guess that is all that counts.

Sorry if it seems I am rambling.

-Talon-

Posted By: Neurolanis Mar 29, 2005 - 01:51 pm

Yeah. Actually I'm not blonde anymore. I have light brown hair now. Well, on sunny days I do.

This world holds few morals in high regard and gentlemen come few and far between, and when one is finally surfaced we are rarly acnoledged.

I agree. Very much. I have always been a man of morals and compassion, and so little respect am I shown for it in the end, while bullies and deadbeats (cruel jerks) get everything. Sigh. So true.

You know what really depresses me? That I'm such a loser. As you could imagine, being a loser sucks. I mean, I've failed at everything. School, jobs and the adult world in general, and worst of all to me lately is that I'm soo single. Beatiful woman like me, and I can barely believe it. People say I look handsome, am funny, intelligent, polite, considerate, inspiring ... sounds pretty good, right? Lucky me. But I'm also so. dang. shy! Today I met this lovely and interesting lady. We shared so much in common. And I'm just such a loser, I can't believe in myself enough to show any confidence at all. Curse my social anxiety, curse my feelings of low self-esteem, curse my dang shyness! Now I surely am rambling. I'm not sure what to do about it. I'm so tired of being alone. People say I have it all, and I feel so the oppisite.

Sigh..

Posted By: Bmat Mar 29, 2005 - 02:04 pm

Awww, Neuro. This is standard advice but makes sense, get involved in volunteer work, and it will gradually pull you away from shyness. You will likely meet other nice people and make friends. Aim for a friend rather than a love interest. When you have a good friend, someone with mutual interests and values, then you will have the confidence to either become more than a friend or to expand your field of acquaintances. Church, the Y, scouts, hospital volunteering, civic volunteering, tutoring.... you'll be doing a good thing for others and for yourself.

Good luck!

Posted By: Ariel Mar 29, 2005 - 05:12 pm

Bmat is sooo right about aiming for a friend rather than a love interest.That's how my husband and I got together,as friends first!

All marraiges have their problems,but we always had our friendship to fall back upon.There is strength in that.

Too shy?If you start out as friends the rest becomes easier.I could go on and on and on...

You'll never know what might have been if you don't try.Here we give you wings.Fly my friend...

Posted By: Bmat Mar 29, 2005 - 05:21 pm

I had the same experience, Ariel! I'd had it with the dating scene and wasn't interested at the time in a love interest. A guy at work said he was going to see a certain sf movie with some friends and would I like to come along. I didn't consider it a date. But we started doing things together- museums, movies, swimming, walking, talking, that we both enjoyed, and he became a good friend and then my best friend. The plant grew strong and then the flower blossomed. We fell in love and are still happily married many years later.

Posted By: Bmat Mar 29, 2005 - 05:25 pm

Talon, I married one of the nice guys and love him dearly. He is my life. The nice guys are the ones who are honorable and steady. A gal will be lucky with you in her life.

Where to meet the lucky gal though... a religious organisation? A library? A bookstore? Through friends? Take a class in cooking or line dancing?

Good luck!

Posted By: aldan Mar 29, 2005 - 11:28 pm

...you asked for it...
*Aldan's grin turns increases the temperature five degrees*
"abmit" - admit
"rampit" - rampant
"boughts of depression" - bouts of depression
"ciblings" - siblings
"protains" - pertains
"rarly acnoledged" - rarely acknowledged

Neuro, welcome to the club. You, me and Morrissey. Oh, and a few thousand other guys out there...

Posted By: Neurolanis Mar 30, 2005 - 12:33 pm

Ah, thanks guys! Good ideas, especially from Bmat! Yeah, friends first makes better sense. That seems the way to go. I live in the middle of nowhere and there isn't a lot of charity stuff around here, and those involved with the likes are ... not people I care for very much. I have no car anyway. But charity is something that has always interested me.

Posted By: Talon Sinnah Mar 30, 2005 - 12:53 pm

Well I did askfor it.

I was just having a off day. Yeah thats it.

Posted By: LightBrigade Mar 30, 2005 - 03:11 pm

Family history gets you, Talon says, and many must agree. Yet, especially in these times, every new generation seems to be developing better. Perhaps because it is genetically equipped better. If one believes that family history _will_ get them, one can rest assured it is certainly going to. Who said life owes anyone anything anyway? What it certainly offers is what Bmat and Ariel mentioned, though their examples lead rather one to conjure that a true and good friend will be one qualifying only as the companion of life - too grim a pic, I say, for the climate here.

Love interest? What love _interest_? People need to be _in love_ and experience reciprocation and mutual exchange of something more subtle than marriage and friendship. Some think it is an exchange of soul. When not, one can not be well. As simple as that. It may be worse, really. It usually is. Then because everyone must find a job to make a living, this problem is classified as disorder to be taken care by disorder jobbers.

I will not argue friendship as such, which is the essence of any human interaction of the kind in discussion here.

Neuro mentioned the word loser. Well, speaking candidly, if you manage to find one who is not a loser in some field in the life they lead, but in this present life, on this planet Earth, in the cities and towns people live, you will have discovered either the greatest liar of all times after Baron Von Mynchautzen or the happiest of morons in their naiveté and ignorance. A complete loser, Neuro may argue? One may think about that the next time one raises his hand to drink the first drop from a glass of water, even if it is not full, even if the water is dirty, even if four or three fingers are holding the glass. Then, one can take a deep breath. If one is still not convinced, try pinching the nose for a couple of minutes.

The blessings of the life of every single one of us, old friend.

One can make new friends in a new workplace, in an association or a club in the town. Even if this will appear shallow and weak at first sight, there are always possibilities. As long as one has managed to keep the shreds of the soul in such condition that what others see will enable them to see when they look, and value. Value what? Their business. If one wants a helping hand, a friend, a love, a love interest (sorry, I get the rash with that phrase), someone to talk to, one had better start wondering what kind of person they bring out to the world. Is it lovable?

I say what I see is. Bmat and Ariel said the same. Could we all be that far out? :-)

Posted By: Ariel Apr 01, 2005 - 06:34 pm

Talon,Bmat and I seem to agree that nice guys do
not finish last.We both married nice guys.You will eventually find someone special in time,if she doesn't find you first.It will happen,perhaps when you least expect it...

Neuro,a loser??I think not!!your vulnerability is quite endearing.You are intelligent,imaginative,creative,humerous...
So what if you didn't do well in school!We're not all scholars!
So often ,I've discovered that by some small gesture,I made a difference in someones life.

We do not need to define ourselves by societies standards of what "they" think we should be.we are all unique individuals who have something to offer in this world.

Your only problem Euro,is that you lack self esteem.Be a little adventurous,break out of the shy mode and take a chance,one chance,you may be surprised where that may lead you...

Posted By: aldan Apr 01, 2005 - 10:39 pm

Oh, and I'm a member of the "no car club" too... since I totalled my last one, a 1969 MGBGT that I'd just finished all the restoration on (the paint was 2 weeks old, darn it!) but only needed to replace the leather seat covers... and then I didn't need to worry about that, and since I didn't fly through the windshield when the front of my car accordioned so beautifully, but instead had my shoulder belt break my collarbone and my glasses get pushed up into my forehead by my steeringwheel), and since I lost my job due to not showing up after the accident due to a problem while stepping off the curb in a rainstorm (okay! It was a very bad week!) in that I broke my ankle because my heel caught on the curb's edge and my toe landed in a slick puddle *SNAP!*... all of this happened back in '99 and only now have I been able to collect enough money to try to get a car again...

Posted By: Bmat Apr 02, 2005 - 05:26 am

Sheesh, Aldan! "bad week" indeed!