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The Master, Drought

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Posted By: View Profile/ContactThe Master (Admin) Sep 03, 1998 - 09:05 pm Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page/Submit ReplyRight click to create a link to this message  Search for posts by this user

DROUGHT


A dawning sun with a promise
                              Of heat
For the parched landscape below.

A stir of life, torn from sleep
                              By heat
From the morning's bright light.

A cry of pain from a dying child
                              Because heat
Has made the crops not grow.

A struggle for life through haze
                              From heat
Reflected by the dead river's might.

A plea for hope from a girl
                              That heat
Has made so very old.

A sigh of new found joy
                              For heat
Is lessened by the cold of night.

 

Posted By: View Profile/ContactAngel Sep 19, 1998 - 12:50 pm Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page/Submit ReplyRight click to create a link to this message  Search for posts by this user

I liked this poem. The format adds to it, the imagery, the feel of it, it's different.

 

Posted By: View Profile/ContactWiseowl Oct 02, 1998 - 07:35 pm Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page/Submit ReplyRight click to create a link to this message  Search for posts by this user

It really makes you feel what the writer is feeling

 

Posted By: View Profile/ContactSilverowl Oct 06, 1998 - 05:34 pm Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page/Submit ReplyRight click to create a link to this message  Search for posts by this user

I get the feeling of a hot, desert land, without moisture or cool. I used to live in a place like that - it was described perfectly.

 

Posted By: View Profile/ContactTheking Oct 13, 1998 - 01:43 am Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page/Submit ReplyRight click to create a link to this message  Search for posts by this user

Nice try.Try harder next time.

 

Posted By: View Profile/ContactThe Master Oct 13, 1998 - 06:15 pm Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page/Submit ReplyRight click to create a link to this message  Search for posts by this user

Ummm...not sure what you mean King. Comments don't have to be positive, but should be constructive and explain what you don't like about the piece.

If you would like to expand, I'd be interested in hearing it!

 

Posted By: View Profile/ContactGolden tiger May 07, 1999 - 05:23 am Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page/Submit ReplyRight click to create a link to this message  Search for posts by this user

To be honest, I didn't really like the poem but I like the accent on heat.
I can't write poems so I really can't say much.

 

Posted By: View Profile/ContactMegadethkiks Jan 16, 2001 - 06:13 pm Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page/Submit ReplyRight click to create a link to this message  Search for posts by this user

As I read your poem my mouth went dry and the dry dusty fingers of the very drought you described grabbed me by the throat and pulled me into the poem. (in case you couldn't tell that was a compliment.

 

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