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Posted By: Neurolanis Aug 14, 2004 - 07:17 pm

These are three published poems of mine that I wrote a couple years ago. They did not pass for quality according to one college that I applied to -- they said that they do not show good communication. Tell me what you think. ( The third one came out of my unconsciousness, and so of course it doesn't "communicate properly." )

THE EYES
--------

Imagine what we might construe
A room full of stark poltroons
In our maze we hardly see you
Or the eyes in the things that you do.

A mirror house is our outfit here
Turn away the light
And now our darkness empties you
Of the eyes in the things that you do.

THE ARTIST'S CONDITION:
----------------------
Whispers and echoes
Are like shouts and explosions
To an artist trying to get into his work.

Shouts and explosions
Are like whispers and echoes
To an artist deep in his work.

CLAY BELLS RING:
---------------
Here we mourn.
Selected halls.
Here we die. rot. decay.
Here the kraken lurks unfathomed.
Bloody falls.
Here hearts rest in division.
Souls ache in mesh.
Insane asylum.
Gothic instituitional hell.
The clay bells ring.
But no one listens.
to anything.

Posted By: Queen Ehlana Aug 15, 2004 - 05:20 am

The one I don't quite follow is the first one. The second one is good, but it doesn't seem like a poem. And the third... no comment.

Posted By: Neurolanis Aug 15, 2004 - 04:05 pm

lol. Hey, I'm proud of these! Anyway, the first one is about an artist who's visual art is under the strict, critical eye of certain "artistic experts" at an art gallery who do not see his vision -- his pure expression: they study it only in form. They look over it for structure and cold translation, not seeing his unique unconscious vision.

The experience damages his confidence, and takes away from his sense of indenity through his art.