We have moved to new forum software and posting here is closed!

PLEASE BOOKMARK THE NEW FORUMS

Posted By: disturbed_angel Apr 12, 2004 - 10:37 am

A young girl who looked to be about 17 yrs. Was walking down the street of what use to be a thriving city, now lies there in ruins, what she didn’t know was that she was the one who destroyed the city, along with everyone in it and that she was created by a group of scientists, she was the confidential project called ‘Project Zero X’ the one creation that would end all world suffering but…somehow it back fired and there creation turned on them and killed them all the only ones that could stop her killing, her clothes were torn and her body was covered with blood

Posted By: Battlepaw Apr 12, 2004 - 10:45 am

?

Posted By: disturbed_angel Apr 12, 2004 - 10:50 am

*sighs* i need input, i'm basicly desperate, i've been up all night workin on my new book and i just started this one, and i'm having a writers block

Posted By: Bmat Apr 12, 2004 - 10:51 am

This is being moved to Discussion. Showcase is for posting stories.

Posted By: Aldan Apr 12, 2004 - 12:19 pm

Okay. Let me see if I can understand what you've input... We have a girl, of the apparent age of 17 yrs. She is walking through a city which lies in ruins. She wonders what happened to the city, but doesn't realize that SHE was the one who destroyed it. That destruction was caused by the fact that her creators were based in the city and in destroying them also destroyed the city. She, however, remembers none of this.
The purpose for which she was built was to (somehow) end all world suffering. You said that it backfired. Perhaps. However, could it not be that the method she chose to eliminate the suffering was to eliminate the sufferers? If you hadn't thought of that, perhaps you could run with it. Or, you could set it up so that she had developed a conscience, which caused her to forget the destruction she'd caused. However, this "program" is still running, so she will keep destroying things and then forget about it. Slowly, during the story, she will gain control of this, by at first remembering bits and pieces of what she's done and then slowly beginning to gain control over the impulses.

Posted By: Spiderkeg Apr 12, 2004 - 12:40 pm

Y'know, I'm gonna mention an episode from "Stargate SG-1" just because it sorta deals with something like this. Not competely like this, so don't think there's a copy issue here.

Upon arriving to a new planet, they discover a girl of about 17 or so. However, she has the mind of a child. It soon becomes apparent that she is a machine, and while the creator (now dead along with everyone else) made her look mature her mind was not. One day, long ago when everyone was still alive, she created a toy for herself. This toy was called a "replicator" and had the ability to replicate itself. Now just one can become millions soon.

The thing is that these replicators, harmless to her, happen to eat metal, kill people, and basically bring everything to ruins. Now a few hundred years later when the SG-1 team find her, alone on this planet (the replicators had left, with her left behind), she remembered none of this or what happend to her people. Again, the mind of a child.

Good example of how something created with good intentions can easily backfire.

Posted By: Talon_Sinnah Apr 14, 2004 - 06:27 am

First of all is this the introduction to the story or did you just post this to see what we had to say?

Posted By: MrB Apr 17, 2004 - 02:44 am

This also has shades of a full season of Buffy tha vampire slayer. but how about changing the point of view, in most stories where this kind of thing happens, the girl/boy/ferret usually ends up being the good guy, how about the girl had intentionally destroyed the city, her memory lost, she tries to find out the truth, bit by bit it comes back to her, she realises her mistakes, and decides on how better to destroy the next city...blah blah blah fight against good and evil. End of the world. hero comes forward. saves the day !