Search found 24 matches

by Nightender
Thu Apr 28, 2011 4:17 am
Forum: Meet and Greet
Topic: Hello fellow writers!
Replies: 11
Views: 7894

Re: Hello fellow writers!

Thank you Qray. I know it's a bit delayed, but I've been busy with a lot of editing and haven't been able to get on the internet much lately.
by Nightender
Sun Apr 10, 2011 3:00 pm
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: The Dark Double - prologue REVISED
Replies: 5
Views: 6607

Re: The Dark Double - prologue

Remember to keep pushing through your current draft. If you keep going over the first part again and again, you might not get to the end. You might want to check out Strunk and White's The Elements of Writing . It's a great book on writing style that a lot of writers and editors use. Take a look at ...
by Nightender
Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:36 pm
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: The Dark Double - prologue REVISED
Replies: 5
Views: 6607

Re: The Dark Double - prologue

I can understand wanting to hold off on that revision. Getting through a draft is important, so don't let any comment stop you. I personally feel first person has become overused. It's thrown around as a default when it doesn't need to be. I think you have a solid understanding of your characters an...
by Nightender
Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:31 pm
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: Mind & Machine: Chapter 3
Replies: 4
Views: 5443

Re: Mind & Machine: Chapter 3

Smell? I hadn't thought of that. I'll have to keep that in mind.

In my copy, I've been adding a few descriptions. I fully admit descriptions are one of my two weaknesses. I'll keep working on things and hope I eventually get to a solid level when it comes to showing how things look.
by Nightender
Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:48 am
Forum: Meet and Greet
Topic: Hi everyone :-)
Replies: 6
Views: 3925

Re: Hi everyone :-)

Hello, Tunstall!

Keep working at that fantasy idea. Even if you only make a little progress each day, you'll get through that first draft. Just have faith in yourself, or at the very least have fun with what you're doing.

And if you need a friendly ear, send me a PM. I'll listen.
by Nightender
Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:45 am
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: MInd & Machine: Chapter 4
Replies: 0
Views: 3833

MInd & Machine: Chapter 4

Chapter 4 [tab=30] Hours had passed and Commander still lingered in the memory of Kathryn. Her warmth, her scent, the way his heart picked up in his chest, like they were still in the same room. [tab=30] Commander looked to the opposite side of the room he lived in. A pallet lay in the corner, bear...
by Nightender
Mon Apr 04, 2011 7:20 am
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: The Dark Double - prologue REVISED
Replies: 5
Views: 6607

Re: The Dark Double - prologue

Hi leonvr. Welcome! Since you have this posted, I'm hoping you're looking for feedback because I have some for you. Show, don't tell. I looked at the second paragraph, just after the first break: "As I sit here in a secret library beneath this old stave monastery and think upon the events that consp...
by Nightender
Thu Mar 31, 2011 1:13 am
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: Mind & Machine: Chapter 3
Replies: 4
Views: 5443

Mind & Machine: Chapter 3

Chapter 3 [tab=30] In the years since high school, Kathryn Angel had changed little. She’d cut her hair short—even her spiral curls—and allowed her muscle tone to fade. Kathryn wore a pink t-shirt and blue jeans, her lab coat hung over her left arm, making her look like a cute lab assistant. A quie...
by Nightender
Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:49 am
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: Mind & Machine: Chapter 2
Replies: 6
Views: 6868

Re: Mind & Machine: Chapter 2

I thought it was a mistake, Ash. Like I said before, it happens.

Of course. I would have been ready yesterday, but I started to not feel well and needed to get some rest.

Today, I'm back at it and I'm going to wrap up some editing.
by Nightender
Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:26 pm
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: Mind & Machine: Chapter 2
Replies: 6
Views: 6868

Re: Mind & Machine: Chapter 2

Uh, maybe you posted to the wrong thread, because mistakes do happen, but, Ash, Mind & Machine is mine . If chapter three is already on your laptop, I think we'll have to talk. That being said, I'm trying to really clean up my chapters as I edit them. Glad you're enjoying how things are progressing....
by Nightender
Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:00 am
Forum: Anime
Topic: Newer Anime To Watch?
Replies: 5
Views: 5881

Re: Newer Anime To Watch?

Eden of the East is a fun modern era cyberpunk story that focuses on a Japanese girl who tries throwing coins from the street to the White House fountain. A guy comes to her aid wearing no clothes and holding a cell phone in one hand and a revolver in the other. It's often light-hearted, but can be...
by Nightender
Sun Mar 27, 2011 12:25 am
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: Mind & Machine: Chapter 2
Replies: 6
Views: 6868

Mind & Machine: Chapter 2

In case you missed it, check out the Prologue and Chapter 1 ------- Chapter 2 [tab=30]Sitting in the private study of his estate, Dalton stared at his cell phone. The devastation his phone had caused pulled on his right arm, making his wounds flare again. Even though he wore no jacket with his suit,...