Search found 11 matches

by Topazsag
Sat Sep 22, 2007 2:58 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Prologue, rough draft
Replies: 13
Views: 9828

Aha yes I mean imminent I spelled it wrong the first time and immanent was the suggested spelling I think I'm going to have to look up the difference. The suggestions are fine, writing an assignment for class is one thing writing a book... I could leave out the killing of the rabbit and leave the bo...
by Topazsag
Sat Sep 22, 2007 2:23 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Prologue, rough draft
Replies: 13
Views: 9828

Yes please delete my oops Any suggestions on how I can "speed up" the bow training without loosing the visualization of it? This scene is meant to show a couple of things, 1) Elita's natural ability to learn quickly 2) the bond between her and her mother (not necessarily a close one.) 3) that she al...
by Topazsag
Sat Sep 22, 2007 1:26 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Prologue, rough draft
Replies: 13
Views: 9828

Story Revised

So I've made some revisions to the story and tried to address the issues that were brought to my attention I haven't finished going through the rest of what I wrote yet so the majority of it is new stuff altogether let me know if you think this flows better than it did before and I made an effort to...
by Topazsag
Fri Jun 29, 2007 2:02 am
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Need help with Dialog & wondering about humor
Replies: 14
Views: 9824

I am horrible at comedy. I tell a joke... I hear crickets! I have to tell them to laugh, that was the joke!
I found it witty it was funny not over the top but amusing for sure. All along the theme song for Pirates of the Carribean was running in the back of my mind. LOL
by Topazsag
Thu Jun 28, 2007 12:02 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Tarazet (just a page or two) my first try at a bit of sf
Replies: 4
Views: 4207

I feel a little strange offering a critique since I am new to this forum as well but I wanted to complement you on your dialog, I think you should have more of it ;) I like the points LightBrigade made I think they help me as well for my story, something one of my professors said and I think the und...
by Topazsag
Thu Jun 28, 2007 11:37 am
Forum: Collaborative Stories and Writing Challenges
Topic: Monthly Writer's Challenge : June 2007
Replies: 8
Views: 11567

A hero's death

Elise sat in her rocking chair brooding. The curtains pulled tight so that even the bright summer sun could not penetrate the gloom. That is how she wanted it. Six months ago her husband had set out to sea to negotiate a peace agreement. She knew it to be a foolhardy mission, everyone did. He would ...
by Topazsag
Thu Jun 28, 2007 10:49 am
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Prologue, rough draft
Replies: 13
Views: 9828

Prologue, rough draft

Kierna walked around her meager village with her hooded cloak enclosed tightly around her. She held her skirt high enough so that it wouldn’t drag through the mud but her mischievous daughter, Elita found delight in pouncing in the largest she could find. Taking a deep breath she held back the scold...
by Topazsag
Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:55 pm
Forum: Guidelines for Writing
Topic: I'm a noob please grant me your words of wisdom!
Replies: 7
Views: 9093

Just the thought of submitting anything to.. I'm scared you'll fall over laughing and I'll never hear the end of it if I actually admit (at this point) what I'm shooting for. I'm almost certain they don't take work from un-established writers but I haven't researched it at all just for fear of knowi...
by Topazsag
Wed Jun 27, 2007 3:26 pm
Forum: Guidelines for Writing
Topic: I'm a noob please grant me your words of wisdom!
Replies: 7
Views: 9093

Thank you I think this is very helpful I certainly need to look into researching the Website of my dream objective and see what their criteria for submission is. I'm not sure why that hadn't occurred to me :shock: well I have my blond moments for sure. I think what you said about the chapters makes ...
by Topazsag
Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:16 pm
Forum: Guidelines for Writing
Topic: Plotting Workshop
Replies: 11
Views: 16567

Thank you CLEasterwood I am finding a lot of useful information in your posts and while I have written many stories I am working on my first "Novel" so I have many questions but I'll stick with a 3 for right now, How to effectively create a "flashback". Should I begin by writing all the events in or...
by Topazsag
Wed Jun 27, 2007 12:13 am
Forum: Guidelines for Writing
Topic: I'm a noob please grant me your words of wisdom!
Replies: 7
Views: 9093

I'm a noob please grant me your words of wisdom!

Okay I'll describe a little about my writing history. So far I have done most of my writing for school assignments and always had rave reviews and some even suggested submitting them to various contests, magazines etc. I don't have any of them now I feel hanging onto it is worthless. I have a bachel...