Search found 108 matches

by MainComputer
Thu Dec 29, 2005 3:06 pm
Forum: Speculation
Topic: Time Travel Theories
Replies: 16
Views: 16048

So, in the end, it's really a very personal, intuitive thing. A question of personal opinion and feeling rather than scientific method.

Does time exist without matter? If a tree falls in a forest with no one to hear it, does it simply stand back up again?
by MainComputer
Thu Dec 29, 2005 2:07 pm
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: TEDOD
Replies: 7
Views: 4882

Caltana, You seem to need some help with your punctuation and structure. I'm no expert, but here are a few suggestions from your intro. Sorry if there are any errors in my feedback: if there are, hopefully someone with more skill will come and correct me, and we'll all learn something! "How ironic I...
by MainComputer
Thu Dec 29, 2005 1:10 pm
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: Titbit
Replies: 3
Views: 3511

Oooo... Titbit! You said Tit! As in Blue-tit, or... Coal-tit, or... Great-tit (don't want to get in trouble with the mods thinking I'm rude or anything). Hornythology... it's the only way forward. Now... Wow, great feedback there! I have nothing to add, only... didn't Morgan enter the hall twice wit...
by MainComputer
Thu Dec 29, 2005 11:10 am
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: I Regret Nothing: A Preview
Replies: 3
Views: 3120

This had the best first line I've read in ages. The introduction that followed, concerning the senses was very, very funny, but I thought it might have been just a little too long to support the humour right through it. Purely personal. The story was a good giggle, wandering from humorous to downrig...
by MainComputer
Thu Dec 29, 2005 9:31 am
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: Excerpt
Replies: 7
Views: 5140

The death of the unknown soldier huh? Jim would be proud of you! This piece was, as mentioned, well paced - not rushed at all. Despite the fantasy setting, it had the flexibility to be easily transferred to any genre; sf, historical, etc - which is a sure sign of a solid, realistic piece. The horror...
by MainComputer
Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:31 am
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: In The Wind
Replies: 7
Views: 4977

An unread post of this quality - that simply won't do. Let me be the second to congratulate you. Excellent, excellent atmosphere - and the attention to detail really did it for me. Scary stuff. The ending I found very, very funny. Was I meant to? I guess it's my own sense of humour, but I imagined t...
by MainComputer
Tue Dec 20, 2005 5:47 pm
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: The Last Mile
Replies: 13
Views: 8467

Great short story Magus. A few corrections possibly needed. But as you haven't mentioned, I'm sure you're not concerned? Good description, it made me feel cold, and I especially liked the blood snowflakes (but agree about the exclamation marks.) For an extra twist, or simply more intrigue, you could...
by MainComputer
Tue Dec 20, 2005 3:20 pm
Forum: SF/F Short Stories and Novel Excerpts
Topic: The Trials of Sir Daniel
Replies: 5
Views: 4255

Power corrupts, and ultimate power corrupts ultimately. This had the feel of an ancient Greek tale, Homeric almost. And the twist was excellent. Very good, and I liked it a lot. A few points I spotted: "The evil Dark Lord Plorgon Hai had fallen by Jenovius’ hand, and so too had the Dark Empire crumb...
by MainComputer
Tue Dec 20, 2005 2:49 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: My Story Needs A Beta-Reader.
Replies: 3
Views: 2970

Here’s an example of what I would do if I was to quickly edit your piece. I’m no expert. I also have an addiction to commas, and my wife helps remove them and edit my writing. Also, you might not like my style. Let me know. “It was pouring down with rain and the thunder was booming in the sky overhe...
by MainComputer
Mon Dec 19, 2005 2:43 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: My Story Needs A Beta-Reader.
Replies: 3
Views: 2970

That level of feedback requires a lot of effort, and I'm sulking because I posted asking for as little as opinion and no one has bothered. :cry:
by MainComputer
Mon Dec 19, 2005 2:31 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: City description - help
Replies: 10
Views: 6250

Why do I bother?!?

Only joking :lol:
by MainComputer
Sun Dec 18, 2005 2:51 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: City description - help
Replies: 10
Views: 6250

I've had a stab at this... please don't be offended?!? What I've tried to do is make the piece flow more easily, and drag you along in a logical order. I really wish I had the skills to communicate more effectively what I've done, but I simply make it a bit more pleasing to myself. So, apologies if ...