Search found 108 matches

by MainComputer
Sun Dec 18, 2005 11:37 am
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: City description - help
Replies: 10
Views: 6246

Right. I'm not the best at giving advice on structure and punctuation and the like. I'm not too bad myself, but find transferring my own approach and knowledge to others incredibly hard. I can see a few problems in this piece which make it hard to follow, and the flow could be improved. I could, if ...
by MainComputer
Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:50 am
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Kaput: Chap 1, Pt 1: The First of War
Replies: 20
Views: 11991

Aldan Thanks for putting so clearly what I had communicated so convolutely. Sometimes I rely too much on people filling in the blanks by themselves, I guess. Thanks too for the comments. No, I would never want to be a Rowling either. Yes, she gave a lot to children's literature, but also, she has qu...
by MainComputer
Sun Dec 18, 2005 9:25 am
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: City description - help
Replies: 10
Views: 6246

Post your revision, and I'll take a look again!

I have some suggestions.
by MainComputer
Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:19 am
Forum: Speculation
Topic: Our Earth:With Saturn Like Rings
Replies: 16
Views: 16821

The French once had a plan to construct a huge ring that would orbit the Earth. It was to be illuminated, and from down here, would appear to be the same size as the moon.

Whatever happened to that?
by MainComputer
Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:16 am
Forum: Speculation
Topic: Animal Kingdom
Replies: 57
Views: 47947

Nature always seems to balance itself out. It only seems a mess through our eyes because we want to organise and categorise everything.

How many gerbils would it take, do you think, to overwhelm an elephant?
by MainComputer
Sat Dec 17, 2005 10:05 am
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Kaput: Chap 1, Pt 2: The First of War
Replies: 4
Views: 3744

Kaput: Chap 1, Pt 2: The First of War

The second half of my opening chapter. It's not as funny as the first half, I believe, but I'm not worried about that. I'd like to shorten this piece, but am at a loss at where to crop from. Please help! All critique welcomed. The First of War , pt2 Dot-dot-dot sat on the sun-baked ground, face in h...
by MainComputer
Sat Dec 17, 2005 9:54 am
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Kaput: Chap 1, Pt 1: The First of War
Replies: 20
Views: 11991

SF...?

Would love your continued feedback...?
by MainComputer
Sat Dec 17, 2005 9:53 am
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Help with my book 'The Quest of Spera'
Replies: 5
Views: 4048

It makes perfect sense.
by MainComputer
Sat Dec 17, 2005 9:50 am
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: The Dragonite Wars: Chapter One/Intro: A Deadly Encounter
Replies: 14
Views: 9264

I can only echo what has been said here already. You've been given some excellent help and advice.

Just to say, I enjoyed the piece and thought it engaging.
by MainComputer
Sat Dec 17, 2005 9:33 am
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Extract, need opinions.
Replies: 8
Views: 5301

1) Yes
2) Yes
3) Yes

A very,very witty piece. You have captured an essence of Britishness brilliantly. And as a cat lover... well: great.
by MainComputer
Wed Dec 14, 2005 7:11 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Kaput: Chap 1, Pt 1: The First of War
Replies: 20
Views: 11991

SF My sincerest apologies. Do I really come across as that brash? I'm sorry. Really. I guess I can be rough sometimes, but please don't take my comments personally, they're not meant that way. I guess I'm assertive-aggressive. I thought I was just replying to your comments. Explaning and answering t...
by MainComputer
Mon Dec 12, 2005 2:52 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Kaput: Chap 1, Pt 1: The First of War
Replies: 20
Views: 11991

SF Yes, it's going to be a book. But no, I expect it will never be published. :( That's a very powerful post for your very first one here. But who am I to comment? Don't you have anything good to say at all? Oh well. I accept your criticism - its fair - presented harshly and without care, but fair. ...