Search found 67 matches

by SFNovelwriter
Tue Jan 03, 2006 11:04 am
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Prolongation of Chapter 6 of 'Quest of Spera'
Replies: 7
Views: 5073

This might help a bit

Hello: I agree with the other comments so far. The story is very interesting I liked the first chapter and wanted to see how it went after that. You’ve bounced ahead so it’s a bit tough to give you an idea of the total story so far. But like chapter 1, chapter 6 is interesting and looks to have been...
by SFNovelwriter
Sun Dec 25, 2005 2:50 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: War of Brothers, Book 1 of The Book of Souls Trilogy
Replies: 17
Views: 11060

Nice Start

I agree with BMAT and the others. You have a lot going on in a very short space. But it is a very interesting story and grabs your attention very fast. But I do have some questions. 1) If the castle is routely assaulted why? Also what of this king is he too old to stand and fight for his realm? What...
by SFNovelwriter
Thu Dec 22, 2005 4:40 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: My Story Needs A Beta-Reader.
Replies: 3
Views: 2921

Feedback?

Hello I'd be willing to give it a whirl but with the holidays it may take a few days to give it a redo. If you want me to do it just let me know.
by SFNovelwriter
Sun Dec 18, 2005 2:28 pm
Forum: Poetry
Topic: Ode to Loss
Replies: 8
Views: 2875

Good stuff

I have not played the game, but your poem is in my style. It is s tribute till friends and imagination and well done.
by SFNovelwriter
Sun Dec 18, 2005 2:26 pm
Forum: Poetry
Topic: secret forest
Replies: 5
Views: 2522

Nice

Your soul is not lost, nor forbidden, like you love it is hidden waiting to be found. Read it several times made me smile I got it, liked it.
by SFNovelwriter
Sun Dec 18, 2005 2:20 pm
Forum: Poetry
Topic: no stealing?
Replies: 17
Views: 6841

To post or not to post.

To post or not to post that is the question. Depends on if you crank them out and want to get published, or if you do it just for fun and relaxtion. I guess in the end if someone steals your stuff and gets it published and you see it, it will make you smile knowing it was good enough after all. But ...
by SFNovelwriter
Sun Dec 18, 2005 2:15 pm
Forum: Poetry
Topic: Where Dragons Fly
Replies: 8
Views: 3371

Oops

I just sat down in 5 minutes and spun that out. My weak point is my grammar of that there is not doubt. This was just a ditty for fun, I hope you enjoy it. Next one I'll try a little harder on the grammar and such.
by SFNovelwriter
Fri Dec 16, 2005 12:28 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: The Dragonite Wars: Chapter One/Intro: A Deadly Encounter
Replies: 14
Views: 9094

How about that

Gee I kept trying to get the thing posted last night 3 times and it didn't take! I come here in the am to try again and it took all three copies! Sheesh next time I'll log out and log back in to see if my upload worked. Maybe the moderator can clear out the extra posts. Well anyway I'm glad you like...
by SFNovelwriter
Thu Dec 15, 2005 10:37 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: The Dragonite Wars: Chapter One/Intro: A Deadly Encounter
Replies: 14
Views: 9094

Here is a redo let me know what you think?

Ok I I’ve re done it as you asked, again forgive the grammar, “my weakest point” See if the story works better, again use what you want toss the rest. I think it’s much livelier and even under the circumstances has a bit of humor. The way ends you could go anywhere. I referred to a ship because I as...
by SFNovelwriter
Wed Dec 14, 2005 9:46 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: The Dragonite Wars: Chapter One/Intro: A Deadly Encounter
Replies: 14
Views: 9094

Very interesting.

I agree quite a bit with Bmat. As they always say you should try to grab the reader in the first few paragraphs. You might want to start with your Jax dialogue from further down the paper, then work the intro into the story, or you could have someone talking between the into to slowly pull you into ...
by SFNovelwriter
Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:09 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Need help with a scene where Thoth explains man's existence.
Replies: 3
Views: 3435

See what you think of this, let me know

Hello Lynn. I’ve done a quick redo of your story, forget the grammar (my weak point) and let me know what you think. I love ancient Egypt so think you have something interesting going on here and with so many ancient Egyptian gods, wow you could go anywhere with this. If you like it use what you can...
by SFNovelwriter
Wed Dec 14, 2005 12:01 pm
Forum: Critique and Advice
Topic: Kaput: Chap 1, Pt 1: The First of War
Replies: 20
Views: 11826

Didn't see that coming:

Hello again, I didn't see the backhanded blow coming. You wanted input and I gave you my honest opinion, I treated your story as if I had just picked up a book and began to read it. In the end you said you would probably not be published. I think if you are going to put in the effort to write an ent...