Ad My head

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Knuckles
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Ad My head

Post by Knuckles »

Well, here is my first writing post. I'm surprisingly nervous, but please tear the story apart. It is the only way for me to learn. Thanks for reading.

Ad My Head
By Matt Palmer

I look down and my hand is covered in blood.
I hear “Wal-mart: Always low prices.”
I can feel my ear torn in half. The knife I used is now stuck in my wood floor, dripping with blood.
I hear “Nothing is more accurate, EPT, its 99.5% accurate.
For a moment I think about how I’m going to clean up those blood spots on my floor.
I hear “My bologny has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R.”
I feel my ear hanging there…flapping, that’s when I feel the bump.
I hear “Duracell trusted everywhere.”
I dig and scratch at the bump until it dislodges from my ear. Then, silence. I don’t hear a thing. It’s so beautifully quiet. I look at my blood soaked hand and see a chip in the middle of my palm. It’s about half the size of a dime. I let the chip fall to the ground. Exhausted I fall to my couch and sleep.
I awaken to a knock on my door. I try to sit up, but the blood has glued my ear to the couch. I pull my half torn ear off the couch, all the blood and pain comes flooding back to me. The knock comes louder this time. I walk to the door holding my ear, blood leaking through the cracks of my hands. I open the door. Two men in expensive suits are standing at my doorway.
“Hi, sir, I’m John,” the man says as he walks pass me into my house, “and this is Nelson.”
I watch them walk pass me as if I don’t even exist. Nelson closes the door behind him as he enters my apartment; he is a hulk of a man that barely fits though my door.
“Whoa! That’s a lot of blood there. Is that a knife I see?” The one called John asks
“Yeah, I kind of…,” I say as I get cut off by John.
“Yes, Mr. Tung we know what happen here,” John say.
“What…I don’t understand,” I say letting go of my ear causing blood to freely flow down the side of my head.
“Well, Mr. Tung, that little device that you so recklessly destroyed cost a lot of money. Do you know how much money it takes to make a doctor inject you with a microchip? Do you have any idea how much money this little adventure is costing us? The people I work for are not too happy about this little failure.” John angrily tells me.
“Wait—what did you do to my head?” I spit back at him.
“You’re nothing now, but a failed experiment. You deserve to thrown in the trash with all the other failures.”
“So, your going to kill me?” I ask him as I move closer to John.
“We like to call it downsizing,” John says with a smirk on his face.
Suddenly, a giant fist comes out of nowhere and pops me in the nose. My nose explodes with blood. Another fist hits me in the stomach and I realize that John’s silent partner, Nelson, is the downsizer. He hits me so hard in the stomach that it lifts me off the ground. I land on my stomach with a thump. I see the knife a few feet in front of me. I reach out to grab it as Nelson steps on my hand. Then I hear somebody yell from behind John, “Yeah, *beep*—eat this!” I look up to see Marcie, my neighbor, hitting John in the head with a baseball bat. John’s head cracks open like a piñata. Nelson angrily walks toward Marcie. Marcie wines up again and swings. The bat shatters on Nelson’s forearm. Marcie’s determination turns to fear as Nelson steps closer to her. With my good hand I pick up the knife on the ground and stab Nelson in the back of the head. He suddenly stops walking and falls to his knees. His eyes roll into the back of his head and he falls forward, landing at the feet of Marcie.
“What did they want?” Marcie asks me.
I grab the chip that is lying on the ground next to the couch. Across the tiny surface of the chip is OMC.
“They wanted this,” I say holding the chip out for Marcie to see.
My ear is half off. I should go to the hospital, but instead I have Marcie bandage my head. Suddenly a knock comes at the door. Marcie shyly opens the door. I hear, “What’s going on there?” Marcie calls me over to the door.
“Hey dude,” the door from across the hall says.
“What is it Oliver?” I ask him opening my door wide enough to see the bodies.
Oliver’s head pops out of the door. He looks around, down the hall. His eyes shake back and forth as he looks at me. His glasses magnify his pupils and they look like giant balls ricocheting off the glasses. I can’t help, but stare at his eyes.
“What happened here?”
Marcie elbows me in the ribs and mentions to look in Oliver’s room. I look past Oliver to see into his apartment. The little that I can see is a couple computers stacked on top of each other with wires snaking over the computers. Oliver catches me doing this and looks back at his apartment.
“Uhh…yeah my apartment is a mess,” Oliver awkwardly says.
“Hey, do you know what this is,” I say as I hand him the chip that was in my head. His eyes light up and he quickly disappears into the apartment. I’m standing in the hallway and look at Marcie as if she knows what to do.
“Sorry, come in. I got excited when I saw that chip.”
I pause a second. Waiting for Oliver to explain what the chip is, but he just feverishly looks over it. I finally ask him what it is.
“It’s an ad chip.”
“A what?”
“An ad chip.”
“ad chip?”
“Yes.”
“What is an ad chip, Oliver?”
“A chip that receives advertisements—where did you find this?”
“In my head,” I said pointing to the bandaged ear, “why is there an ad chip in my head?”
“Oh, wow! This is light years ahead of anything I have ever seen.”
“Oliver! Focus! Why is there a chip in my head?”
“I don’t know.”
“YOU DON’T KNOW…”
“Wait, calm down,” Marcie interrupts, “Oliver, tell us what you know about the chip.”
“Oh, ok--an ad chip uses HSS technology…”
“What is HSS?” I ask him as I calm down.
“Hypersonic sound—so the chip uses…”
“Oliver,” I sigh, and then say, “explain this to us like we don’t know anything, because we don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Ok, well the base of an ad chip is that it has two components. One is that it has hypersonic sound system, which I have only seen one the size of a cereal box…nothing this small. But anyway, hypersonic sound is a beam of sound that is shot at a speaker, in this case the chip. This can only be heard when close to the speaker. The second component is a tracking device, usually a RFID, which means radio frequency identification. So the idea is that when you are close to a store, the RFID sends a signal to the HSS system to send a beam of sound to the chip making you hear the advertisement. But something this small is unheard of, only conspiracy theorists believe it is possible. This technology is ten years away.”
“No, it is now.” I say as my voice rises, “It was constantly going off in my head. Why the *beep* is a futuristic chip going off in my head?!”
“Well, the end of the chip looks a little fried,” Oliver says as he looks at the chip under a magnify glass.
“So, you’re saying that somebody planted an ad chip inside my head and it malfunctioned?” I ask Oliver as my voice gets louder.
“Yeah.”
“What the hell! Who’d do a thing like that?!”
“I don’t know—anybody who wants to advertise.”
“Tell us what the letters on the chip stand for,” Marcie interjects trying to calm me down.
“OMC—I think is Omnicon Group,” Oliver hesitantly says.
“How do you know all of this?” Marcie asks.
“Internet,” Oliver says as he types OMC into a google search, “See.”
On the screen is the Omnicon Group website, which says Omnicon Group is the largest advertising firm in the world at the top of the page.
I pace back and forth in Oliver’s apartment, pissed that this would happen to me. When suddenly a thought occurs to me. If a signal is getting beamed to the chip that was in my head, then it has to come from somewhere. If movies have taught me anything, it’s that you can trace a signal. I ask Oliver if he can trace the signal of the chip.
“Yeah, I might be able to trace it back to the source.”

Marcie and I sit in my apartment in silence. It’s not all uncomfortable, given the fact that we had the worst date possible two weeks ago. A date is usually spoiled when you end up at the hospital for severed limbs, but that whole night she stayed by my side. Sitting there with Marcie, I drift off and think about when Oliver first moved in. I caught him in the hallway after my ear reconstruction surgery. He was extremely shy, always looking around as if talking to somebody made him nervous. I remember he had these huge guys helping him who barely fit in the door…I suddenly look at Nelson and quickly kneel in front of him. I lift his head to show Marcie and his dead eyes look at me.
“Does he look familiar?” I ask Marcie.
“Eeeewww! I don’t know,” Marcie says as she looks away.
“He’s one of the guy’s with Oliver…”
A knock comes at the door. I drop Nelson’s head and it hits the floor with a thump. Oliver peeks his head into my apartment.
“Uuuhhh…I found where that signal was coming from. It’s a building about four miles from here.”
Marcie and I stare at Oliver. I’m squatting on the ground next to the dead body of Nelson.
“So…What’s going on here,” Oliver asks us.
“Nothing,” Marcie and I say simultaneously.
Again, I tell Oliver that nothing is going on, but that we need him for something else. We need him to make a computer virus. We are not going to stand ideally by as people screw with our heads. We need to strike back. Marcie has the perfect solution.
“A company I worked at had a lady open a computer virus that destroyed the whole network,” Marcie explains. “Within a week the company went bankrupt. That might work here, if Oliver can make a virus.”
“Oh, yeah, I guess I could make one,” Oliver says.

In my best repair guy outfit I walk into the building that chipped my head. Oliver gave me a disk with the virus on it. There was only one office on the third. I guess that is where the boss is, his computer will definitely be connected to the network. When I get to the third floor, I’m amazed at how large the office is. I mention that I’m here to fix the boss’ computer and the secretary lets me pass. Even the boss ignores me as I download the virus to his computer until I start to leave his office.
“Was this your big plan, Mr. Tung?”
I turn back to see the boss sitting casually at his desk smiling.
“Did you really think it would be that easy?” The boss asks, but not really looking for an answer. “I think you should just face it, you’re a failed experiment.”
“So you try and kill me!” I spit at him.
“Come on, we can’t let this get out. People have invested a lot of money into this.”
“So I’m just a commodity!”
“Yes, that is one way of putting it. You have to realize that there are billions of dollars at stake here. The people who invested in this are not going to just let something like this get out. That’s not good for business.”
“Well, I guess I know what my life is worth. I hope you’re ruined after this.”
“What? You mean the virus that Oliver gave you,” the boss says as Oliver walks into the office. There is different aura about Oliver. He has more confidence about himself. The nervousness has suddenly vanished.
“I think you two have already met,” the boss sarcastically states.
“Oliver,” I calmly say.
“You’re not surprised by this?”
“Same guys that tried to kill me where the ones that helped Oliver move in.”
“What a little detective you are Mr. Tung. How long did you know?”
“Awhile.”
“Wow, aren’t you smart. Wait, what’s on the disk then?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you look?”
I walk away from them as they franticly look at the computer.
I hear “Congratulations! You have released the pink slip virus.”
“I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!”--Homer Simpson

http://www.realsexedfacts.com/

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Bmat
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Post by Bmat »

We're nice here, so no need to be nervous, although it is understandable when posting your writing for the first time.

I thought this was a clever idea and well written. It flows well, and I think you have a winner here. It would not be out of place in an sf magazine.

There are some punctuation problems that I won't go into. And I got confused by some of the abbreviations, but that is part of the nature of the story, I think. You should run spellcheck.

The only thing I thought was unbelievable was that Oliver would give him an actual virus-infected disk, and that supposing that for some reason he did, that he would actually be permitted to get close enough to the computers to use it. It would be more believable to me if he had placed it in Oliver's computers and the office computers that were linked to them got it that way. But I really can't believe that Oliver would give him a disk with an actual virus. Perhaps hiis girlfriend was able to get the virus that messed up her company on a disk. She could even mention the name when the subject came up. Then they could ask Oliver to make one that he calls something else, but at the end when the computer makes the announcement it is the girlfriend's virus that was loaded. If you decide to go this way, then it needn't be mentioned until the end, if at all, that she had done this. The company people could snicker over his being so naive as to think Oliver would actually give him a virus disk. Then the computer makes its announcement.

I wonder what happened to the bodies, but that probably isn't needed in the story.

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Post by Knuckles »

Thank you. Yeah, I realized that the virus part, which I was trying to hint at the girlfriend giving it to him. I will go back and rework that part. I do like the idea of getting Oliver's computers instead. Maybe have the girlfriend do that while everybody is distracted.

Thanks a lot. :wink:

edit: I did run spell check and checked it again. It there are spelling errors or what not. I would like to know so I don't do it again. Thanks.
“I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!”--Homer Simpson

http://www.realsexedfacts.com/

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Post by Trey of Diamonds »

Hey Matt,

I have been waiting to see what you would post, and I hate to wait! Don't take so long next time. :wink:

This was a fun read and I enjoyed it. I think you need to flesh it out a bit more, add a little detail. It's 2200 and some change at the moment, I would add anywhere from 500 to 1000 more words. After all, the sci-fi mags pay by the word. Weird Tales pays 3 cents. http://www.weirdtalesmagazine.com/

Now, I do have one serious crit though. Your technology is a bit dated and while most folks may not notice, all the geeks will. For example, you have the chip dime sized, it would probably be cylindrical and about the size of a grain of rice. What you are describing is a mastoid implant and has been used in sci-fi for communication devices for several decades. David Drake uses them a lot in his Hammer's Slammers series.

RFID is a nice touch and it will be familiar with the general public because its been in the news but the techies will know it is just a glorified tracking device.

Using a disk for transport has already been mentioned. Portable file transfer these days is by flash drive and that doesn't fit well with the story either. I would go wireless. A palm could be configured to wirelessly transmit a virus to another computer either through a wireless network or an infrared port. The infrared port requires close proximity to the computer while the wireless network only requires being in the coverage area.

Not sure if it shows, but I am manager of IT and have done field support for many years. Feel free to ask all the geek questions you want.

There you go buddy, that's my two cents, well ok, its really about a buck and a quarter. :D
<> <> <> Trey of Diamonds <> <> <>
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Post by Knuckles »

Trey of Diamonds wrote:Hey Matt,

I have been waiting to see what you would post, and I hate to wait! Don't take so long next time. :wink:

This was a fun read and I enjoyed it. I think you need to flesh it out a bit more, add a little detail. It's 2200 and some change at the moment, I would add anywhere from 500 to 1000 more words. After all, the sci-fi mags pay by the word. Weird Tales pays 3 cents. http://www.weirdtalesmagazine.com/


I was going to with Bmat and now your new information. Thanks. And you think I should sumit it to weird tales or if you know about another mag i can sumit to?

Now, I do have one serious crit though. Your technology is a bit dated and while most folks may not notice, all the geeks will. For example, you have the chip dime sized, it would probably be cylindrical and about the size of a grain of rice. What you are describing is a mastoid implant and has been used in sci-fi for communication devices for several decades. David Drake uses them a lot in his Hammer's Slammers series.


Thanks i will definitely do that.

RFID is a nice touch and it will be familiar with the general public because its been in the news but the techies will know it is just a glorified tracking device.


I was making a point with RFID and how they have been in the news for clothing.


Using a disk for transport has already been mentioned. Portable file transfer these days is by flash drive and that doesn't fit well with the story either. I would go wireless. A palm could be configured to wirelessly transmit a virus to another computer either through a wireless network or an infrared port. The infrared port requires close proximity to the computer while the wireless network only requires being in the coverage area.


Thanks I will also use this, but I think I need more details on this. Do you a site that I can read or if you want to explain it to me that would be great. I just need a feel for it before I write something on it. I like to try and do my homework when I write something.

Not sure if it shows, but I am manager of IT and have done field support for many years. Feel free to ask all the geek questions you want.


Again thanks and as you can see, I don't have much in the knowledge of technology. I read about the HSS tech and thought it would be cool.
“I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!”--Homer Simpson

http://www.realsexedfacts.com/

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Post by Bmat »

franticly

bologny

wines

are words I caught in a quick run through. Also, Is Walmart hyphenated?

I am so impressed with Trey's updates on tech!

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Post by Knuckles »

Thanks!
“I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!”--Homer Simpson

http://www.realsexedfacts.com/

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<> <> <> Trey of Diamonds <> <> <>
Traffic and Logistics Manager
Visionary Comics Studio
Creator of Mamluk and Cyra
http://www.comicspace.com/trey/

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Post by Knuckles »

Wow! Thanks alot. I just I have some reading to do. :shock:
“I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!”--Homer Simpson

http://www.realsexedfacts.com/

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Post by Knuckles »

Ok, Trey you have to explain this to me.

The present invention discloses a method and apparatus for hands free communication using a PDA. The method includes sensing a bone conduction signal from the bone conduction sensor disposed within an external auditory cannel of the user, transmitting the sensed bone conduction signal from a transmitter to a PDA, and processing the sensed bone conduction signal at the PDA to create a processed audio signal.

Thanks
“I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!”--Homer Simpson

http://www.realsexedfacts.com/

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