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An Adventure Story

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An Adventure Story

Postby dark2dalc » Wed Dec 06, 2006 9:24 pm

I'm just trying something out... tell me if you guys like it...


oh and haha I KNOW some of this may sound a little familiar, i found inspiration in these forums, but please understand that this is all for personal enjoyment.

well here it is....



Midnight wanderers traveled in, and went to stay in the Jaded Wayfarer Inn.
It was place near the woods, out of the violent and chilly cold, escaping the midwinter
winds.
A palace to those who drifted, was this pleasant and warm inn.


A fire burned and crackled, a cheery warmth upon the room.
A patron at the bar tended, his small and gay saloon.
A group of drifters huddled around the fire, gazing into its fiery womb.


Dalc the paladin, and Xerxes the ranger!
Stared together at these strangers.
They caught the man’s name: Keane, but the lady, still stranger.


So Dalc and Xerxes tried their best,
To woo this lady’s heart, beneath thine breast.
“Your eyes are sweet and peaceful, more colorful than all the rest.”


“Your hair gallops gallantly in the wind, your gold locks look shimmering and silky
smooth.”
“I wonder Xerxes, how her face brightens this already well lit room.”
“Maybe its her smile Dalc, which intrigues me so soon like a flower just bloomed.”


The lady spoke. “I would have not of guessed a holy paladin and a hard worked ranger,
arms so burly and fit, would throw such a feeble attempt.
You may want to stay a while and begin paying rent,
for no matter how many weak attempts of woos, I most hold them in contempt.”


“Oh Dalc what a stinger this butterfly has, I’m afraid you’ve been stung!”
“No my pal Xerxes you were stung! Look at what you’ve done!”
The man named Keane spoke. “Oh we have all been stung! I offer her my honeyed
words, and she snaps at me as if I deserved to be hung!”


Dalc and Xerxes laughed with Keane and raised their glasses happily and gay.
“If there is one thing men have in common! It is the bitter way!”
“That the ladies slap down their hearts, like feeble and vulnerable prey!”



“You call what you wear on your sleeve a heart!?
Trying to woo a stranger right from the start!
Oh why do men think they are so charming and cleverly smart?”


Before Dalc and Xerxes could conjure a reply,
A scruffy looking man entered the inn and rushed by,
His shoulder hitting the lady, almost making her cry.


Keane sprung upon his feet, taking a knife to the man.
“I’ve seen poor city thieves smoother than you, you dirty snake, nothing close to a man!
The last time I pulled a knife on a man, he turned and ran!”


The lady let her hand drift about her pocket,
And her eyes for a moment bulged out of her sockets.
“My locket! My locket!”


The thief spoke, his tongue slithering about his mouth.
“My name is Rasmer, and I am from, the deep deep south.”
Dalc spoke. “How deep, how deep is your south?”


“The south where the fire burns and my lord reigns,
Demons and monsters serving darkness and causing pain,
Where blood drips from its levels, as plentiful as rain.”


Dalc spoke enraged. “Oh you bloody fool!
You are a fraud you are a fool you tool!
A petty thief in need of guidance and school!


I have battled and slain demons alike,
You are a low life, petty dirty criminal, who steals like a tike!”
Keane yelled after Dalc, “No demon are you, you steal from a woman, now let me slash
you like a pike!”


And Xerxes had a smile wide upon his face,
When the lady slapped Rasmer across his face.
A strawberry blush was rushed upon the scruffy, and dirty face.


“I’ll take my locket, put it in my pocket, Keane shall put his knife away, and Xerxes
don’t you dare draw your bow.
My personal possessions are small and would sell low,
So I’ll buy you all drinks, and you shall all forget your foe.”


Before Keane could slip away his knife, and before Dalc and Xerxes could act as
bewildered as they were, the inn doors had opened again.
“My name is Chasid, please don’t be alarmed when-“
The inn doors suddenly blasted open again.





So what do you guys think? should i continue??
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Postby Bmat » Wed Dec 06, 2006 10:00 pm

beneath thine breast. This doesn't seem to fit- all the sudden they switch from speaking about a person to speaking to her.

not of guessed- "not of" is a present day colloquialism, I think. Not 've maybe? I would not 've guessed... I would have not guessed? Or do you mean have not oft guessed.

I like it! It is entertaining and evocative of the Canterbury Tales, perhaps? but easier to read.
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Postby Ledh » Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:45 am

It's really nice! I love that you keep up the medieval-ish words and phrases all the time.

However, sometimes you have four, sometimes you have three lines of text. is there a reason to it that I didn't catch?

"you tool!"
I've never heard that, it rhymes alright, but what does it mean?
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Postby clknaps » Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:06 am

I enjoyed it, it was fun to read. Might be better in the poetry section? I don't know.
I know I'd like to read the rest of the story, thanks for sharing! CLK
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