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Bunker

General fiction short stories not related to Science Fiction, Fantasy, or Horror.

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Bunker

Postby L.L. » Fri Aug 30, 2019 1:38 pm

The train station rumbled with smoke. The crowd, wore hats and held canes. The gulls flew about, eating chips - and a boy sat, holding a lolly bag.
The red sweets, he swilled in his mouth. The hard shell were crunched by his teeth. Like cherries they were, rich and on top.
The ground he sat upon, were covered by a mat. Next to him, were a harmonica - and a hat. Inside the hat, were silvers and golds, but he held a smirk on his face - and anger in his eyes.
When the folk passed him, it were with a shuffle. The police officer twirled his baton, and looked at him. He always had a wink, and the boy had his place. The times he would love, were when the thieves would visit him - and cajole him.
The thieves, were a bunch of about eleven boys, who had climbed the ranks of their bravery - and now dedicated their time to homeless matters. They wore smart clothes, and hid daggers. The times the boy would like, were when they would talk of his rival.
Across the town, there were another boy - whom was disabled. He would smirk and joke about, but the thieves told him to keep quiet, and practice on his little drum. He sat about the bus stop, because he liked to be around folk.
The times the thieves would have them about each other - were a blessing. They would take the boys, to the river, and they would swing on the rope. The other boy were loud, he were quiet - the other boys were brave, and respected in the scheme of things.
The boy picked up his hat, and left with his harmonica - and stowed his mat. He tumbled down stairs, crossed alleyways, and found himself in the garage. There were always boys, in the garage.
Much in the scheme of things, everyone loved the girl. She were hot to the touch, and the boys acted romantically. Her job, were to keep away the police officers. They would come by, and she would talk to them.
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Re: Bunker

Postby Bmat » Fri Aug 30, 2019 2:10 pm

(To assure you these are being read. Very atmospheric. Why the unusual wording - "were" and so forth- or is this part of the story?)
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Re: Bunker

Postby L.L. » Fri Aug 30, 2019 2:57 pm

I were told that were were more romantic, and I use dashes - for emphasis and such. Do you think this is a good way to go? And why? I try to use all the encompassing elements in this, usually I just, (*beep* up!)
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Re: Bunker

Postby Bmat » Fri Aug 30, 2019 5:38 pm

The wording is intriguing. It sounds as though a rural person from Great Britain is speaking.
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Re: Bunker

Postby L.L. » Fri Aug 30, 2019 8:46 pm

That's what I was going for. I don't necessarily speak like that. We're all just folk now, as Malcolm Reynolds so eloquently put it.
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