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What is on my Mind?

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What is on my Mind?

Postby Ranryu » Wed Feb 15, 2006 8:27 pm

From the page my eyes do deceive,
I know the image, yet another is received.

In the distance stands a lone figure.
Covered in delicate clothe and decor.

Quickly, purposely, and with smooth fluid motion;
He comes before me with a presence no smaller than an ocean.

He smiles with a full set of whites.
Laughing, laughing to the record of all that isn't right.

Speaking with sharp tongue and words
Cutting deep enough it hurts.

With time the wounds and anger fester
So I bard back to the jester

As the time passes we begin to boor.
Each one running out of Ammo for this war.

(Incomplete)
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Postby Xyster » Thu Feb 16, 2006 4:27 pm

Intersting, a little off beat at times, but then agian you did say that it is incomplete. It definitely gives me pause and makes me wonder what or who exactly you are talking about. Overall, good show. :wink:
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Postby Ranryu » Thu Feb 16, 2006 4:33 pm

To tell the truth this is to reprecent an aspect that can be found in all of us, at times. Give a guess on what it is. :)
When in Doubt Reload and Repeat.

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Postby Xyster » Thu Feb 16, 2006 4:58 pm

The green eyed monster?
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Postby Ranryu » Thu Feb 16, 2006 6:00 pm

I was trying for along the lines of Doubt and fear. But envy could work as well. :)
When in Doubt Reload and Repeat.

(\__/) This is Bunny.
(='.'=) Cut, copy, and paste bunny onto your sig.
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Postby Xyster » Thu Feb 16, 2006 6:08 pm

wasn't quite sure, I'm not very good at diciphering meaning behind certain things.
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Powerful Lines

Postby SFNovelwriter » Thu Feb 16, 2006 7:05 pm

Though incomplete you have some powerful lines in this poem!
"He comes before me with a presence no smaller than an ocean" What a heck of a line! Please complete it, so we can take it all in. Or cut it loose and let us play with it! Great stuff.
Fairy's and Dragons are real, if you believe.
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Postby Ranryu » Fri Feb 17, 2006 7:37 am

I have no problems with letting every one take a shot at it.

Use it if you wish Just let me se how it turns out.
:lol:
When in Doubt Reload and Repeat.

(\__/) This is Bunny.
(='.'=) Cut, copy, and paste bunny onto your sig.
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Postby Ariel » Thu Feb 23, 2006 9:40 pm

Arn't you going to finish it Ranryu??
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Postby Ranryu » Sun Feb 26, 2006 6:09 pm

In time, but I have yet to be able to. From work and everything else that life grounds into me I don't really have time. I have a story in which as not been written on in over a month due to the time frame I have to live in. This poem is actually below my on goning stories.

But I do hope to get it finished pretty soon.
When in Doubt Reload and Repeat.

(\__/) This is Bunny.
(='.'=) Cut, copy, and paste bunny onto your sig.
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Postby Ariel » Sun Feb 26, 2006 9:06 pm

There's never enough time in a day. I hear ya!!
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Postby Talon Sinnah » Wed Oct 25, 2006 12:35 pm

Hey Ran I just now got a hold of this one man. Very nice you need to finish it.
I am the poet of the body and I am the poet of the Soul. The pleasures of heaven are with me and the pains of hell are with me. The first I graft and increase upon myself, the latter I translate into a new tongue.

-Walt Whitman-
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