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Armageddon: Westshard's Song

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Armageddon: Westshard's Song

Postby t_tibke » Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:56 pm

Any feedback would be appreciated!


Long ago and far away,
the land was bright and rather gay;
The grasses long, and golden sweet,
And as folk traveled, it eased their feet.

The skies were blue. The mountains tall;
but to the west, did shadows fall.
Still, tribes of men yet rested there,
upon the lands: Cornerius fair.

Of ancient times these tribes were great;
thus in the shadow, grew bitter hate.
Of all these men who dwelt the plains,
of those whose gardens grew strong by rains;

the men they called these shadowed lands:
The Darkmehr - where the orc warbands,
who’s eyes were red, and skin foul green;
they lived in hovels bereft of clean.

And so it was upon a time,
that ice there came and snows behind.
The orcs grew strong within the mehr.
The warbands came. Fell beasts there were.

They slaughtered man, woman, and child.
They drove all good into the wild.
Then darkness grew across the land:
the evil, the shadow, the great-green hand.

Now the land lay burned - the grasses gone.
When amidst these tribes, there was one who shone.
His voice was great. His arm was strong.
The men rose up with Westshard’s song.

Maegros Westshard, a simple man
They say he was born of the falcon clan
Beneath his banners, the tribes grew great
They bore steel arms and well-forged plate
of armor shining: silvery white.
Their purpose was for final fight.

So came a time, when night there fell;
The orcs they marched through Solemndell.
Yet afore them stood: Maegros proud,
with united tribes: an army loud.

Surprised but not quelled, the orcs they came
to slaughter each the men the same.
Then battle there was, both great and long.
The trumpets blew, men rose in song.

Now standing up, the Westshard eyed,
The warlord orc, the single eyed.
Who bore an axe of biting strength.
His skin was dark, his breath it stank

And long it was their weapons rang.
The orc called Mokk: he fell in shame.
His wounds were deep. The end was near.
The orcs began to turn in fear.

But in a final bloodied strike,
Mokk threw a stone with strength alike
to that of bear, or frenzied boar.
Now Maegros; he could see no more.

But with one eye, he hewed Mokk’s head.
At last it was; his foe was dead.
The greatest of these orcs he were,
most foul and cruel from the Darkmehr.

Now came the yellow shining sun
And so the orcs they turned to run
Back over hill and over plane
The Westersirk was free again.

And so it was, that winter passed,
Then spring it came, and with it grass
Then walls were built of heavy stone
The tribes united had made a throne

And soon thereafter, they stood to sing
On throne then sat the one eyed king
The greatest of the simple men,
King Westshard; grand until his end.
T_Tibke
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Postby t_tibke » Wed May 17, 2006 3:52 pm

Hey... somebody tell me you've read this... tell me, whether its bad, good, otherwise... you can even shorten it to the letter 'g' or 'b' ! Just say something! haha. :D
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Postby Bread Butterbeard » Fri May 19, 2006 3:22 pm

Whilst making my rounds among whats been written ( I am loooong ovedue to do so as I use to read everything and comment but stoped due to real life) I saw this and decided to leave you with this comment.

g.

LOL joking aside, I love it, its like a epic poem one that tells a stroy that I can grasp and understand without becoming lost thinking of what it could mean, I say you did not good but a great job on this.
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Postby Believer » Wed May 31, 2006 12:30 pm

Wow.....Very good poem, I truely enjoyed reading it
Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage. -Ambrose Bierce-
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Postby t_tibke » Tue Jul 25, 2006 4:38 pm

Not much in the way of critique received on this. I plan on publishing it within the pages of my book, so anyone else's cuts against it would be welcome :D
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