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The Incongruities

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The Incongruities

Postby Grand Evander » Wed Jun 28, 2006 7:01 pm

The incongruities, don't you see?
Those disparities between you and me.
What is different? What has changed?
Why are the center lines all rearranged?

Is this how you thought? Is this how you act?
To give me all and then begin to subtract.
To paint a picture and forget a stroke,
To tell me you care and then write I should choke.

Our isometric drama has become an anisotropic mess,
a lackluster directional tendency at best.
What was my wrong? What was my transgression?
That when we confide it feels like confession.

Was this the mission? Was this the plan?
To fill all my airways with sand.
To salt the wound and bleed the mind,
To see all that prying hands can find.

To confuse me, abuse me,
devour me, reduce me,
To pain me, to blame me,
To harm me, to use me.

To shake my hand and hug my heart,
with tongs of steel that aim to part
the folds within and expose without,
the winding road, the hidden route.

Don't you see? Is it that opaque?
That for you my soul begins to quake.
And perhaps that was the grand mistake,
To expect an angel and receive a snake.

You found a hole within and put me there,
And told me that I shouldn't care.
Can't you see there is no beauty,
In these incongruities.

*I'm really not such an angry person.
Non mihi, non tibi, sed nobis
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Postby Bmat » Wed Jun 28, 2006 7:08 pm

This is a heart tearing expression of a love affair gone bad. At least this is my interpretation.

Beautifully written. Emotional. Weeping. Angry. Hurt. Confused. Disappointed.

The poem is masterful.
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Postby Grand Evander » Thu Jun 29, 2006 4:19 pm

Thank you. It was inspired by a relationship of mine that ended last April, though I have dramatized the emotions a bit. Do you ever get so angry that you feel like all of the anger is somehow going to manifest itself in some grotesque incarnation, like in a cartoon? If that's possible, I think mine would have talons and poisonous spines. I try to use my frustration productively and write whenever I feel upset. My policy: always wait 24 hours before making a decision from when I first become upset.

I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and thank you for your comments. One of my favorite things to do is to use mathematical or technical jargon to describe life (though the analogue may not provide a compelling comparison). The discussion of anisotropic and isotropic is an example in the poem. I also like to say that life is path dependent. I'm kind of strange like that, I guess. Thanks again for reading. I always appreciate thoughtful comments.
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Postby Neurolanis » Thu Jun 29, 2006 6:42 pm

This is professionally written, Grand Evander. Very publishable! :wink:
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Postby Grand Evander » Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:16 pm

Thanks for reading my poem and for your comments, Neurolanis. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Right now, I'm just happy that I'm finally sharing my writing with other people. Unfortunately, I've always been discouraged from writing by my family, so I've written for myself most of my life and have had to be content with that. Since I'm living away from my family for the summer, I've had a lot more freedom to refine my writing skills and concentrate on my projects in my free time.

Thanks again to all of for your encouragement. I've rarely had my writing praised before. :D
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Postby Ariel » Sat Jul 01, 2006 7:49 pm

Then perhaps you wern't sharing your poems with the right people. Wonderful! You will grow as a poet here with those who can appreciate it. :wink:
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Postby Neurolanis » Sat Jul 01, 2006 9:48 pm

Family doesn't always know what's best.

And I agree with Ariel. :)
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Postby Grand Evander » Sun Jul 02, 2006 12:27 am

Thanks for the encouragement, you two. It really means a lot to me. :D
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Postby Mornara » Tue Jul 25, 2006 11:53 pm

Wow, that is beautifully done. You have a talent for poetry, and the meter and rhythm that I can only shake my head and wish I could get. Keep up the good work, and I expect to see these published some day!
Ita Est
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Postby Grand Evander » Wed Jul 26, 2006 10:14 pm

Thanks, Mornara. I really like your poetry too. I usually don't consider publishing poems, but I might now.

Thanks again for commenting. Your insight is always appreciated.
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Postby SpookyKatie » Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:43 pm

Beautifully done Evander!
I could feel every word!
Well done and I hope to see more!
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And take that old dusty road over to my blog!
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Postby Grand Evander » Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:29 pm

Thank you, Katie. I've recently finished another poem but am still unsure as to whether I will post it on SV or not. Thanks for your comments. They're always appreciated! :D
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