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Escape?

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Escape?

Postby Raesd » Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:18 pm

An angel faced doll
A bitter charlatan
Curls fall into your face
I watch you feign sleep

What has brought us here?

You words dance in my mind
My eyes seem like forever
And then to yourself
No one says that forever
Looks so
Cold

Tear me apart.

You say all love crumbles away
Within the fingers of those who
Hold too hard
But you go deeper than you
Know

I bleed my resistance.

Beside you now, I know
Tomorrow I will face the dusky curtain
But shred my heart and you will
See

Your life in my veins.

Is there really such a things as escape?
Last edited by Raesd on Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Talon Sinnah » Tue Sep 19, 2006 10:59 am

I honostly found this confusing. I will read it later and see if I can get anything out of it I just can not right now sorry.
I am the poet of the body and I am the poet of the Soul. The pleasures of heaven are with me and the pains of hell are with me. The first I graft and increase upon myself, the latter I translate into a new tongue.

-Walt Whitman-
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Postby Believer » Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:14 pm

What is the meaning of your poem?
Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage. -Ambrose Bierce-
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Postby Bread Butterbeard » Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:11 pm

Well done my friend!!!!!!!
"The world you know is over Grandmaster Shard, will you stand and fight for your people, or let them slip into darkness?" Tartikoff Greenwood to Brayan James Shard

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Postby Raesd » Tue Sep 19, 2006 3:48 pm

I'm sorry if the meaning of my poem is unclear. I hope I can explain it better. My underlining tone was supposed to be false love, and the writer knowing that they'll have to leave eventually, but even when they do, there will still be love within them for that person. The false lover is unkind and deceptive, faking sleep to be away and calling the writer cold, saying they tried too hard. I hope this helps.

and Taith!! Thank you so very much! *hugs*
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Postby Bread Butterbeard » Tue Sep 19, 2006 7:47 pm

"hugs bback" woo hooo i got a hug!!!!
"The world you know is over Grandmaster Shard, will you stand and fight for your people, or let them slip into darkness?" Tartikoff Greenwood to Brayan James Shard

Fifthwind, Terry Brooks, Legends
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Postby Grand Evander » Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:49 pm

You know, I try to accomplish something similar in my posted poem Barren , in case you want to check it out. :D

Considering that the speaker is trying to say that love will still remain after the relationship's end, I don't believe this is an example of false love but rather transient love. This poem is rather abstract which makes it hard to grasp the message, in my opinion. By using so much figurative language, I feel the sentiments in this poem have been too distilled from the actual situation (a lover feigning sleep in bed) for me to make this poem seemed personalized to the speaker's experience. My impression was that the speaker was more obsessive than pensive in her reflections, less acknowledging the end of the relationship than expressing frustration of his/her attraction to the subject.

Some of the phraseology in the poem is also confusing to me. Perhaps consider beginning the first stanza with, "You angel faced doll," since for me there was a momentary confusion of the poem's subject until about the third stanza. "My eyes seem like forever," for instance, is an imperfect comparison (kind of like the apples and oranges peril). The stanza beginning with "You say all love crumbles away Within the fingers of those who Hold too hard" abruptly shifts its message, beginning with a discussion of love's fragility but then discussing how deeply the speaker's affection is for the subject.

The aforementioned statement leads to my main caveat with the poem. I got mixed feelings of what's trying to be conveyed when I read and then reread the poem. There appears to be a duality between the transience of love and a lament for the strong pining the speaker feels. I personally thought the speaker was just getting carried away with her lover's action rather than arriving at a profound and doleful realization.

*hope this is helpful
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