Vermin City's Memorial Scream

Share your poems with our readers.

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shootbootleg
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Vermin City's Memorial Scream

Post by shootbootleg »

Rain drops by drop on the rooftop
by rooftop untill it finally spoils:
To blood and piss, our God given right
To bomb with fecal.
Don't you recall?
"I won't confess. Gimme a dollar, man."

Rain flops my drop on my window blades,
it fades somehow.
Don't you recall?
"It's a sad story, man. Gimme a dollar."

Rain gushes through mouths and guts,
Onto her lips, sideways so softly.
Above her smile, like flour and sun
Tough mixed and dazed:
"My God!!!"
I think I'm a having a nervous breakdown.
Time-out!
"You sure you don't... 'bout the dollar?
Man?"

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Bread Butterbeard
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Post by Bread Butterbeard »

I am not sure i understand what is going on, could you explain this a little bit before I give you a more in depth comment?
Last edited by Bread Butterbeard on Sat Jun 10, 2006 6:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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SchoolTheOld
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Post by SchoolTheOld »

I like the 2nd stanza. In connection with the blood and piss in what I assume is an apocolyptic city, it's a very striking image, nice one!

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Believer
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Post by Believer »

I agree with Taith, im dont know what you are trying to say
Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage. -Ambrose Bierce-

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shootbootleg
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I do not know

Post by shootbootleg »

well, tnx for the reviews and everything but you must understand that I do babble everything in this forum and all the poems (so called) are just my way of getting rid of some strange thoughts/visions (again so called) out of my head.
there isn't a single line I wrote in the forum that was proofread or re/written.
some of the stuff I don't understand, but hey... so what. does that mean it has no quality whatsoever?
yeah, why not?
although I do have an explanation fot this poem:
it was and idea that just kinda came through when the proud army of the U S o' A bombed Iraq.
And also because in this forum, you really have to find some awkward words to describe the anger and frustration when every time i type the s&$% of the F word you beeeeep the hell out of me.
that's just lame. what happened to the freedom of speech?
did it turned into slavery?
don't get me wrong.
i just like playing with words for *beep*'s sake.
hehe.
XXX000 to the believer
"Sickness, insanity and death were the angels that surrounded my cradle and they have followed me throughout my life." -Edvard Munch-

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Bread Butterbeard
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Post by Bread Butterbeard »

Freedom of speech is here else you wouldn't be posting at all no would you? or me for that mater, secondly it beeps not just you but us all, we have some young viewers out there and do not want them exposed to certain words. as far as your poems go we only offered advice, and besides I just wanted to know your meaning.
"The world you know is over Grandmaster Shard, will you stand and fight for your people, or let them slip into darkness?" Tartikoff Greenwood to Brayan James Shard

Fifthwind, Terry Brooks, Legends

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shootbootleg
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Post by shootbootleg »

Certain words? And younger viewers? Come on man.
Every kid can get "exposed" to certain words on every damn site on the net/TV box. Or pics for that matter.
The thing that bugs me the most is that in poetry or any other form of art people like you just dont understand that a word is a word like any other.
You beep out the F/ones and others but still dont censor pain, death and so on and so on...
Killing is better? Self destruction even? K, man in this
world, maybe.
I like *beep*' better. So beep yourselves, cuz if I, or any other "poet" cant write about how they feel and cant describe it with a word that's neccesery in that very moment, we've got some serious problems.
Thank you and buhbye *beep* very much...
godspeed
"Sickness, insanity and death were the angels that surrounded my cradle and they have followed me throughout my life." -Edvard Munch-

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Bmat
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Post by Bmat »

I am sure that there are plenty of websites out there that do not have the same restrictions on language that SV does.

I, myself, feel that it is possible to express one's self without using language that refers to private bodily functions, especially when I know such language is offensive to many people.

Bon Voyage.

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Chaeronia
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Post by Chaeronia »

An ambiguous, challenging and rewarding piece. Unlike so much amateur poetry that pervades the internet, it is absent of self-pitying mawkishness. For this alone it deserves credit. Like others, I have little idea what it means, probably none at all, but the language used, the rhythm, and the strong, angry tone draws me in. And so I draw my own conclusions; the benefit of a lack of definition.

This is good work. Something to learn from, I suspect.

As for the censorship issue, I am not a fan of it either, but you must respect the wishes of the site creator and moderators. The rules are clearly and concisely laid out; there should be no surprise or antagonism in respose to them. As Bmat says, there are other (very fine) writing forums, ones that are not so strict with their censorship. Try them, but don't become a martyr and avoid this worthy site altogether. Now that would smack a little of self-pity...

Kind regards,

Chaeronia
'There's a vampire, dad. It's trying to get me.'
'I know, son,' he said softly. 'I saw it.'
'You saw it?'
'Yeah. I broke its bloody neck. I won't have no vampires in my house.'

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