The Price of Immortality: Prologue

Not sure if you're on the right track? Post anything from character descriptions, snippets of text, or even whole chapters to get some advice.

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interesting idea

Post by thegreentick »

Hmm... that's an interesting idea. Perhaps this demon could be John's tormenter. You know, the one who follows him throughout his life to inflict suffering and such. If the demon were assigned that sort of role, rather than one of a whimsical wanderer, his decision to prolong John's life and use him in ways previously unexplored would make him singling this person out a little more realistic. I think I'll try it out. I'll be back when I've given it a go. I'll also work on getting into the demon's mind a little more so that his moral standing is seen from his view, rather than mine.

"God is looking for spiritual fruits, not religious nuts."

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Re: The Price of Immortality: Prologue

Post by Curtisrj »

Fearing the wrongs things always leads to destruction. John should fear God and tell the demon to take a hike! Well written, I enjoyed even though the premise is classic as in somewhat over used, still you held my interest, good job Ray

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