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Apocalyptic story segment

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Apocalyptic story segment

Postby evitherator » Tue Jun 19, 2012 10:29 pm

It was time to go. The open spot in the dome overhead looked even too small for the blades of the helicopter. It might even have to slam through some of the foliage up above, Charlie thought.
Dan was singing to the tune of Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden by replacing some of the lyrics with, “Pack up your *beep*, it’s time to go.” For the first time since they’d been trapped on this base, Dan was smiling. Although he had smiled before, never had it been from pure happiness. It had always been a sort of self-defense mechanism. But now, it was different.
Kilgore was hauling up his art pieces as Charlie held the door from him.

“The roof feels different now”, said Kilgore as he looked around. “It’s more lively, even with Dan's singing.”

He laughed even as he dropped one of his paintings. He picked it up before it fell down flat.

Pete was getting the helicopter ready to fly on the pad. None of the others knew what he was doing, and it didn’t occur to them to ask him to demonstrate. They all thought it was a pretty slim chance they’d find anybody out there. And they didn’t think they’d be taking off again after this.
They all jumped in the helicopter which was big enough for five and got belted in. Kilgore stayed outside with his hands full of paintings.

“What should I do with them?” he asked nobody in particular.

“Throw em in the trash,” Dan laughed.

“Belt them in,” said Charlie and patted the seat next to him.

Kilgore got in and placed his art in the seat next to his, the one next to the open section of the helicopter. He belted them in carefully and stared at it.

“I don’t know guys, it doesn’t look secure.”

Dan almost yelled, “Get the *beep* in here,” his tone suddenly changing from happy to serious. They all knew that Dan was the most anxious to leave.

Kilgore and Dan looked at each other for a long time as the helicopter started up.

“Now”, said Dan.

Kilgore got it the chopper and buckled himself in looking nervously at his paintings.

Dan screamed aloud, “Woohoo!” As he lifted his arm up with a fist. Charlie knew it was what Dan wanted more than anything.
The chopper started to lift and everyone smiled. They all looked at each other. Dan let out another yell even though no one could hear him at this point.
But as they reached about 20 feet from the rooftop the paintings began to shift. The helicopter was vibrating enough to shift them to the point of falling out of the seat. They fell onto the floor of the
chopper and began to move around from the vibration.

Kilgore was already out of his seat and reaching for them. Charlie Screamed for him to stop but the blades spinning were too loud.

The unsteadiness of the chopper was enough for Kilgore to lose his footing and step on one of his paintings. It slid forward out of the side and into space. Along with Kilgore’s leg. It looked painful. He had almost done a full split. Another painting flew out and Kilgore reached for it. Leaning forward out of the chopper. And with this action, he fell.
Charlie and Dan watched as Kilgore tumbled out of the side. They rushed out of their seats, being careful to hold onto the bar at the top and looked down. There was Kilgore with a leg twisted and blood coming from his head. Dan started to get back into his seat and buckle up while Charlie went to announce this to the Pete.

Charlie tapped Pete on the shoulder. Pete didn’t turn, they had to go straight up to the hole in the foliage if they were going to get out at all. Again Charlie tapped him on the shoulder. This time Pete pointed to a headset on the passenger seat.

Charlie yelled into the headset, “Kilgore fell.”

Pete flipped a switch on the dash quickly and surveyed the back.

“What the hell is Dan doing with that gun?” Pete yelled.

In the back Dan was holding a pistol and aiming it straight down out of the helicopter. It was aimed at Kilgore. Before anyone could yell for him to stop he fired. Now Kilgore was definitely dead.
Dan holstered the pistol, and sat down in his seat. Charlie stared. He had just killed Kilgore.

Dan made the signal to go up to Charlie. Charlie turned towards Pete. “What do we do now?” said Charlie, “Dan just shot Kilgore.”

Pete turned again, and said, “I’m taking her down, right now.”

The helicopter descended and Dan, sensing this drew his pistol again. This time he put it to the back of Charlie’s head. He made the “ascend” signal again in front of Charlie.
“Pete,” said Charlie, “I think we should go back up.”

Pete turned, and without speaking began to lift the chopper. Dan smiled. Both Charlie and Dan got back in their seats and waited for the helicopter to ascend above the foliage. Charlie wondered about Kilgore, and hoped he really was dead. He looked at Dan. Dan was singing to himself again. Back to his previous mental state. So quickly after killing a man. A friend of theirs. Charlie was wondering what kind of man does that sort of thing.

Charlie had almost forgotten the pistol to his head as well. They all wanted to leave the base, but Dan must have snapped. What would he have done as the only survivor other than Pete? Would Dan have really killed me? All these questions ran through Charlie.

Either way he had no choice but to accept the death of Kilgore. They had no medical training, and dragging him around with a broken leg or worse would have been draining on them all. But they were survivors. And Dan just eliminated one because he was anxious to leave.

The helicopter lurched a little downwards and they all realized that they were at the hole in the dome of foliage. Pete gunned it a little more, and they burst through , slipping through the hole, and out into the beyond.
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Re: Apocalyptic story segment

Postby waytanblee » Wed Jun 20, 2012 4:52 am

Good story, good writing style, but I don't get it, did Dan kill Kilgore just so they could leave earlier? It doesn't make for a bad story anyway. Fast paced. Good. Anymore coming along?
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Re: Apocalyptic story segment

Postby evitherator » Wed Jun 20, 2012 5:38 pm

Well thank you very much!
I was trying to convey that Dan killed kilgore because they could not have saved him anyway. That he killed him because no one was a doctor and Kilgore's long death might have prevented them from leaving at all.
I will try and make this more clear in my edits.
Thanks for reading!
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Re: Apocalyptic story segment

Postby KayMurky » Fri Jun 22, 2012 3:13 pm

I liked it too... :) for what its worth.

And if you hate edits s much as I do, this one might slip past you.. in the following part, you have Kilgore getting into the chopper twice, if that last 'got it' was supposed to be 'got in', otherwise, I don't really get it what Kilgore got:

Kilgore got in and placed his art in the seat next to his, the one next to the open section of the helicopter. He belted them in carefully and stared at it.

“I don’t know guys, it doesn’t look secure.”

Dan almost yelled, “Get the *beep* in here,” his tone suddenly changing from happy to serious. They all knew that Dan was the most anxious to leave.

Kilgore and Dan looked at each other for a long time as the helicopter started up.

“Now”, said Dan.

Kilgore got it the chopper and buckled himself in looking nervously at his paintings.



But it is very readable


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Kay
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Re: Apocalyptic story segment

Postby evitherator » Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:45 pm

Thanks for reading, and thanks for catching that, I'll fix it up in my edit.
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Re: Apocalyptic story segment

Postby Ariel » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:52 pm

I liked your story too! :D
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Re: Apocalyptic story segment

Postby evitherator » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:59 pm

Thanks for reading Ariel!
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