True Love

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Qray
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Post by Qray »

ola wrote:What do you believe when it comes to the saying: "True love never dies"?
True love will never die. Even if one of the soul mates does.
ola wrote:Is it true? Or is it dependend on the odds. Can you hold on even against all odds (this is where Romeo and Juliet come in)? And if yes, will it be a happy ending or a tragedy?
A tragedy.

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FantasyMan
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Post by FantasyMan »

aldan wrote:Ah, love and true love... they are related, just like a professional athlete, rich and skilled, is related to his brother who stumbles as he walks on a smooth surface....
lol hate to say it but ditto
"We have nothing to fear, but fear itself"

-Franklin D. Roosevelt

R.I.P Aldan we know now, that you are in a better place

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ola
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Post by ola »

Here's another question:

What do you actually fall in love with?

The body (that changes: aging, size, pregnancy etc)?

The character (that changes too, because people just change or something happens that amkes them change radically)?

Or something else (soul or something)?
"He's a stranger to some
and a vision to none,
he can never get enough
get enough of the one" 30stm-from yesterday
There are so many sides to life....why should I only have one? :smt084

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Post by Bmat »

I think we are attracted by physical appearance. I know I like a well-groomed guy. But I fell in love with the person he is- intelligent, considerate, well-read, a nice guy. Having similar interests helped- science fiction, religion, history, family, old movies, music, art, math.

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Post by aldan »

I'd say that most people are attracted to looks initially, but then if they get to know that person, one of the others will take over when it starts turning to love.
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain

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Post by LadyFlame »

I feel so passionatly about this topic. Especially becuz' I have found my SoulMate, and yes, I 'just knew'. OH man, ours is Tale worth telling, but becuz' of time, I will say I consider what we have a Gift.
A woman once told me that love is a choice. I agree, and also I believe everyone can have a soul mate!
I totally agree that you HAVE to start off as best friends-cuz' are going to be spending the rest of your lives together, and who do you like to be with the most?-Your best friend.

Love provokes great songs!

An Ancient Scripture says:
Love is Patient, Love is kind, It doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it is not proud.
It isn't rude, isn't self-seeking, isn't easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
These have worked in my marriage! And they all fit hand in hand.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

Ambrose Redmoon

www.myspace.com/nanyanasummer

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aldan
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Post by aldan »

It's very easy, IMO, for those who have it to say that everyone can. However, there is simply too much involved in creating a successful relationship between two people, and some of those things are very minor things. Has there ever been a person that simply bugged you? I mean, have you ever known someone that annoyed you just to be near them, and you didn't really know what was at the base of it? All too often, it's little stuff. It could be that they remind you of your father, 4th grade teacher, priest or whoever, that you'd had some really bad experiences with before, and so you are rejecting that person because of the shape of their nose, or the way that they push their glasses back up, or perhaps it's some other inconsequential thing they do that in and of itself is nothing, but because it reminds you of the one you had that bad experience with, you will most likely never get to know that person, because of something that (really) is wrong with you (It's not that person's fault that they remind you of someone else!).

Those same sorts of things can start to show up in a relationship. We as people are actors. We tend to act one way with family, another way with friends, still another around those we are attracted to, and still another way with those that we are in love with but only have been for a short time, and still another with those we have been loving for years. And, when you consider that it's not just one person, but two (or more), in a relationship, that is a lot of acting and hiding the truth, and it's a lot of changing, which requires a lot of adjustment for both (or all three or four or...) people to make, and with any acting, there are people that are good at it and there are also not-so-good actors, which tends to bring forth distrust in the relationship ("What are you hiding from me??").

By the way, if any of you disagree with this whole acting idea, ask several of your friends and family if you act any differently around your family, your friends, those who aren't your friends, your co-workers, those of the same sex, those of the opposite sex, etc. You'll find out that you're as guilty of it as the next person...
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain

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ola
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Post by ola »

I wouldn't consider it acting. You di adjust to the person a little bit, that doesn't mean you act.

For example: You have just discovere something in your research. You have two friends. One that understands everything, since he does the same as you and who doesn't. You might tell the seond one about your discovery, but not details, the first one you tell all the details. Or you did something or something happened that doe interest one of your friends, but the other one doesn't care about it or is not intersted in it (you read a fantasy book, one other friend too, the other isn't interested in fantasy).
Does that mean you are acting? I don't think so. You just adjust to the intersts of your friend.

You also have different experiences with different people and hence if you say e.g. "moon" one will laugh histerically, the other will not undertsnad. I don't see where there is acting involved.

Unless you mean someones hiding stuff from people. A little ALias game (That perosn can only know this, the other that and only me the truth). Then I agree.


And what I meant in my question from my last post was: Whatever you fall in love with, you know it will change character as well as looks. But you still love that person. Considering this continous change., what exactly triggers the love?
"He's a stranger to some
and a vision to none,
he can never get enough
get enough of the one" 30stm-from yesterday
There are so many sides to life....why should I only have one? :smt084

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Post by Neurolanis »

One thing I've realized about love is that a man must absolutely respect a woman in order to love her. Women can love men they don't respect, but a man cannot love a woman he does not respect. A woman's love is unconditional, a man's love is not. If a man loses respect for a woman he loves for any reason, be it an error on her part or not, he loses love for her. A man's falling in love with a woman coincides with his finding respect for her, just as his losing respect for her coincides with his falling out of love with her. This may seem unfair, and maybe it is, but it is a fact of life; if a woman loves a man she must make sure that he always respects her. In this way there is more importance in women being ladies than in men being gentlemen, and perhaps that explains the difference in the lady to gentleman ratio in our society.

For example, if a woman loves a man, and he has a wild night with some women, drinking and flirting (but doesn't 'cheat' on her) she most likely will be able to forgive and still love him, even though she would likely be deeply hurt for a while. On the other hand, if a woman went out partying and flirting with some men, a man who loves her will most likely lose respect for her, and even if he decides to stay with her, he would have lost some degree of respect and thus love for her. And so, for women there are harsh lessons to be learned in the area of respect.

Men sometimes like 'sluts', but that's only because they want to 'score'. The women men want as wives/life companions are women they see as ladies, i.e. women they respect.

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Post by Caltana »

I have to agree with Ola about the seeming different thing. Because everyone is different, with their own background and way of thinking due to upbringing, life experience, or whatever, your interaction with one person could never be the same as another, and so by acting one way with one person and not with another isn't acting, its simply playing to what you know are the strengths of your interaction with one person and others with another. You wouldn't speak to your parents necessarily the same as you would with your friends because your relationship with your parents has always been one based on that of child/adult even if you become more friendly as you get older, and your friends you see as equals largely.

I think that you're getting it right if you understand what one person likes and dislikes and tailor how you interact with them to follow their pattern. For example, I've one friend who I talk about writing with an awful lot, we grew up together and started writing at the same time and we have our own unique way of looking at things. Then I have another friend who is passionate about films like I am, but not interested in writing and so I can talk about one subject with one friend and the other about the another. I wouldn't talk about films with the first friend because he's not as interested in them.

If you tried to talk about something that the friend who didn't like it, you wouldn't get very far. There's no acting involved its just playing to different people's strengths and respecting who they are in your interaction with them.
"Hell? There is no Heaven, there is no Hell, there is only this place, the Land Of The Dead, my friend..."
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ola
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Post by ola »

Neuro, I'm not a guz, so I can't realz verify your post, but there is a saying I heard many times:

A woman has to be like a princess. A man just has to be better than the devil.

Sounds a little like your point. I guess I will hold my opinion on this, I'll just say that I think it is unfair and that guys do have other attitudes. An example: A guy cheats on his gf/wife. She is upset and mad at him and everything. He knows it was wrong, but plays it down and is usually just annoyed that the woman brings it up. If the woman cheats on the guy he loses it. When you tell them that they have cheated before too they say that that is something completely different.....

I'm not saying all guys are like that. There are good guys too, but that is how it usually goes....
"He's a stranger to some
and a vision to none,
he can never get enough
get enough of the one" 30stm-from yesterday
There are so many sides to life....why should I only have one? :smt084

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Post by Ariel »

Unfair and unwise Neuro. Double standards!

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