Good day,bad day...

Grand Evander · Post by **Grand Evander** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 3:01 pm

Well, Freud tells us that we are doomed to repeat our relationships with different people throughout our lives. Perhaps this is an unfortunate dynamic that you will have to consciously watch for to prevent its resurfacing, Mornara...

Ariel · Post by **Ariel** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 5:17 pm

Good luck honey! B'mat is right, she could get public assistance.

Mornara · Post by **Mornara** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 5:32 pm

My problem is that she attached herself to me, and while I didn't want the friendship, I have gotten a little bit out of it. So from a purely mercenary point of view, it was profitable to me. But you are right Evander, I do need to be careful not to repeat this mistake. The first time actually was the result of my grandmother pressuring me to be friends with a girl who had none. So that was a bad situation all around. I will however ensure that this does not not happen again.

And her father has offered to pay her rent, so that is good. She had conveniently neglected to tell me that.

Mikira · Post by **Mikira** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 7:19 pm

Mornara wrote:
Thanks for the advice Evander, and the sympathy Mikira.

Your very welcome Mornara. I can tell you have a kind heart and it saddens me when people look to use that kindness. You also seem like a strong woman, who in the long run won't allow people to step on you for long.

Grand Evander · Post by **Grand Evander** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:28 pm

Really bad day... oh so sick, I've been practically bed ridden all day. My sickness is viral, so there's nothing I can do but wait it out, which is not fun.

Post by **Bmat** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:31 pm

Ah poor GE!

Keep sipping liquids, rest.

Grand Evander · Post by **Grand Evander** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 9:52 pm

Thanks for the concern, Bmat... I really feel like I'm going to keel over at some point from this illness and pain suppresants aren't effective t all.

Mornara · Post by **Mornara** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 11:23 pm

Aww, you poor guy! Not at all fun. Hope you kick the thing soon.

And no Mikira, not strong at all right now, I had to choose today whether to keep trying to save her, or basically screw myself up and keep being her lifeline. I realized today she has no ambition, no strength, nothing for me to work with. I came home today to find her and all her stuff gone, and this barely two days after her suicide confession. Needless to say, that did not do good things to my day. I called her, she gave me a pretty little story, but something is wrong, I feel that.

I chose today to grieve and move on, because unless something changes, she will be dead soon. Not a good thing, but at this point, despite the people fighting for her, she cannot live unless she fights for herself, and she won't. So I have stepped back and will not endanger what little balance I have right now trying to live for her. I can't save the world, but this feels like a grand failure, and I know it will be a long time before I forgive myself. But it had to be done. Maybe I'm being a selfish cretin, so be it.

Mikira · Post by **Mikira** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:26 am

Grand Evander wrote:Really bad day... oh so sick, I've been practically bed ridden all day. My sickness is viral, so there's nothing I can do but wait it out, which is not fun.

Oh my poor sweet Evander. I wish there was something I could do to help you feel better. Drink lot's of water, juice and tea. Make some chicken soup. If you find yourself loosing strength drink some gatorade. (I find it tastes good when you are actually dehydrated.) And sleep.

Mikira · Post by **Mikira** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 5:31 am

Mornara wrote: And no Mikira, not strong at all right now, I had to choose today whether to keep trying to save her, or basically screw myself up and keep being her lifeline. I realized today she has no ambition, no strength, nothing for me to work with. I came home today to find her and all her stuff gone, and this barely two days after her suicide confession. Needless to say, that did not do good things to my day. I called her, she gave me a pretty little story, but something is wrong, I feel that.

I can only imagine what finding her gone did to your day. Especially, when it was only a few days ago she laid out her terrible plan to you.

Mornara wrote:I chose today to grieve and move on, because unless something changes, she will be dead soon. Not a good thing, but at this point, despite the people fighting for her, she cannot live unless she fights for herself, and she won't. So I have stepped back and will not endanger what little balance I have right now trying to live for her. I can't save the world, but this feels like a grand failure, and I know it will be a long time before I forgive myself. But it had to be done. Maybe I'm being a selfish cretin, so be it.

Don't beat yourself up about your decision to let her go. (I'm not sure if you are the praying type, but that's all you can do for her right now is pray. Pray that she finds something worth living for.)

Grand Evander · Post by **Grand Evander** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 10:21 am

Thanks for your concern, Mikira. I'll probably be detained in my room for the whole weekend while recovering.

Mikira's right, Mornara, not everyone can be saved, and it takes a heavy toll on people who can't just let go. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the last lesson I learned while trying to help people is how to just let go so I don't get dragged down with them.

Ariel · Post by **Ariel** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 3:40 pm

Sending healing vibes your way GE. Chicken soup and lots of fluids, good book, good movies and rest.

Mornara, you offered to help your friend. You did all you could. Bottom line is that she has to help herself. You have nothing to feel guilty about! Nothing! There are people in life that you will be able to help with your wisdom and insight, and people who are beyond help. Sad but true. You are too hard on yourself Mornara. Did you know that?