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Vote the Drunken Zombie Ticket.

Postby Qray » Sat Feb 16, 2008 10:14 pm

Ok campers, Election time is upon us here in the States and at this important time of year it's more imperative than ever to pick a Representative that speaks for your interests.

Drawing upon a Corrupt a wish post and needing to protect myself from pim in case I ever become a zombie (she's said she'll shoot me in the face and hack me up with a machete) I'm officially starting up the Drunken Zombie Ticket.

Our basic platform is a bottle in every house and that zombies are people too.

Feel that you're on board with our party's policy on drinking, but uncertain you can get behind not putting a 12 gauge slug into the face of slobbering, brain eating zombie?

Or perhaps you're not all that keen on drinking, but feel that zombies are alright by you.

No problem. We're still the party for you. Why? Because all the other parties suck and you know it.

So tell us what concerns you. Tell us what we need to make a part of the Drunken Zombie's official platform.

Vote the Drunken Zombie Ticket!
Last edited by Qray on Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:11 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Postby fanuilh » Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:07 am

Vodka should be free to anyone over the age of 21. And not the cheap stuff, either -- Gray Goose.
"Never look at the trombones, it only enourages them." -- Richard Strauss
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Postby Loxley » Sun Feb 17, 2008 10:46 am

Tequila should be free for anyone over the age of 13 and who lives in Sweden. And not the cheap stuff either - José Cuervo!
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Postby Boikat » Sun Feb 17, 2008 10:54 am

Campaign slogan:

A case of Vodka in every kitchen, a coffin in every back yard!

Or is that the "Drunken Vampire" ticket?
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Postby Qray » Sun Feb 17, 2008 12:25 pm

fanuilh wrote:Vodka should be free to anyone over the age of 21. And not the cheap stuff, either -- Gray Goose.


I like the way you think. You'll go far in the Drunken Zombie party, young lady.

Be it known that at 1141 on the 17th of February, in the year of 2008, the Drunken Zombie party officially adds "Quality Vodka should be free to anyone over the age of 21" to it's party platform.

Uh Q, how is this program going to be paid for?

A 5 cent beer tax.

WHAT!?!?!?

Hear me out, my fellow Drunken Zombians. You can't get something for nothing. Now the Drunken Zombie Party believes in streamlining Government. Getting rid of a lot of the redundancy and bureaucracy that costs us so much money. This alone will save a comet load of cash, but with a deficit in the Trillions of dollars, the Drunken Zombie is unwilling to further contribute to that deficit.

So, when you have a beer, will you care that you've got to pony up another nickel?

Probably not.

Exactly. Now, at a consumption rate of 7.4 billion gallons of beer in the U.S. a year, a five cent tax per glass/bottle/can nets us $3,946,666,679.00 a year. More than enough to pay for the new Vodka program.

That's the way the Drunken Zombie Party works. We won't tax say, gasoline to pay for alcohal. That's not fair. We'll tax gasoline to pay for road maintaince. We'll tax alcohal to pay for alcohal.

Put your tax money where you want it to go! VOTE DRUNKEN ZOMBIE!

edited for a Drunken Zombie math correction and Drunken Zombie spelling.
Last edited by Qray on Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:58 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Qray » Sun Feb 17, 2008 12:53 pm

Loxley wrote:Tequila should be free for anyone over the age of 13 and who lives in Sweden. And not the cheap stuff either - José Cuervo!


You bring up an interesting point, good sir. That being should the Drunken Zombie be just a U.S. political phenomenon, or are these values that can be embraced the World over?

I put forward the concept that it would not be imposing "American" values on the rest of the World, but it would instead be creating a Party that can represent values all citizens of the globe can get behind.

Therefore, we officially recognize Loxley as the leader (and only delegate) of the Swedish branch of the Drunken Zombie Party.

Furthermore, even though Sweden is part of the Vodka Belt, we shall expand our free vodka policy to include Tequila in Sweden.

As for the age of 13, in Sweden the legal drinking age is 18. However, can we agree to incorporate the concept that if the parent/guardian acquires and/or pours said drink, it is acceptable (as it is in many American states) for those under the legal drinking age to legally consume said drink?

Bring the World together! Vote the Drunken Zombie ticket!
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Postby Qray » Sun Feb 17, 2008 1:07 pm

Boikat wrote:Campaign slogan:

A case of Vodka in every kitchen, a coffin in every back yard!

Or is that the "Drunken Vampire" ticket?


I like your enthusiasm, chummer. However, I'd have to agree that such a slogan would be more fitting for those dirty, filthy drunken vampires.

Q, you're not against Vampires, are you?

Listen, Vampires are all about sucking blood. People need blood. Now Zombies are all about eating brains, and as most people will tell you, there's an abundance of people in the U.S. who don't use their brains, so they're not going to miss 'em.

Don't give up though, I like where you're going with this, chummer. There will be a place for you in the new Cabinet once the Drunken Zombie Party captures the Oval Office come November. In fact, since Merle has been a bit missing as of late, we may need to put you on the ticket.

Vote the Drunken Zombie Ticket! Because not only are Zombies people too, but most people don't use their brains anyways!
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Postby Boikat » Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:53 pm

Maybe the "Drunken Zombie Party should open it's membership to all classes of undead? Mummies, Vampires... Are werewolves "undead"?
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Postby fanuilh » Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:12 pm

I don't believe werewolves are "undead," but they do drink.

I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's,
And his hair was perfect


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Postby who me » Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:48 am

I'm against drinking and zombies.
what about drinking zombies?
there the worst of all!
vote pim for world dictator.
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Postby Qray » Mon Feb 18, 2008 11:09 am

Boikat wrote:Maybe the "Drunken Zombie Party should open it's membership to all classes of undead? Mummies, Vampires... Are werewolves "undead"?


fanuilh wrote:I don't believe werewolves are "undead," but they do drink.

I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's,
And his hair was perfect


--Warren Zevon, "Werewolves of London"


Werewolves (there wolves¹) aren't undead, but rather suffer from the disease of lycanthropy. Furthermore, it's the Drunken Zombian view that they shouldn't be treated any different than someone who has contracted rabies, or a bad cold. In fact, not only will the Drunken Zombie embrace those suffering from lycanthropy (or the "Moonlight Impaired" as some prefer,) but we'll make it one of the main thrusts of our administration to find a cure for this dreadful disease and make sure anyone suffering from it has access to the health care that they need. Regardless of income level.

The first step...selling little furry ribbons to raise awareness of this terrible affliction.

As for the rest of the undead community, the Drunken Zombie Party wasn't started to be about helping the entire spectrum of the undead. It's about correcting the long standing bigotry and injustice that the zombie community has had to suffer under for so long (and protecting me from getting shot in the face by pim should I ever turn into a zombie.)

However, a bottle in every house and the concept that Zombies are people too is just the core values of this Party. It's not all that the Party is about. So if the other members of the Party and YOU the people we represent, wish the party to champion the cause of the entire Undead Community, that's something that we in the Drunken Zombie Party feel we can do.²

After all, this isn't just our Party, it's your Party.

Cure lycanthropy by voting the Drunken Zombie Ticket!

¹ : Thank you, Mel Brooks.
² : Except those dirty, filthy drunken Vampires.
Last edited by Qray on Mon Feb 18, 2008 11:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Qray » Mon Feb 18, 2008 11:25 am

who me wrote:I'm against drinking and zombies.
what about drinking zombies?
there the worst of all!


Good people, this is a fine example of the bigotry and hatred that Zombies have had to deal with for so long. I mean, these aren't hippies we're talking about here. These are people. Zombie people. Don't hate the player, hate the game.

Besides, we're not ALL about drinking and zombies and/or any combination there of. Tell us what your concerns are and I'm sure we can work them into the Drunken Zombie Party platform.

who me wrote:vote pim for world dictator.


In the spirit of communication and bipartisanship, I extend my hand out to you and ask for you to participate in a publicized debate with our candidate.
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