Pool Area and Trophy Display

[Boikat]

Under the floor plate of the bridge, Q had dozed off, and was awaken by the jolt of another hyperspace jump.

"Smeg!"

Then he heard a peculiar rustling noise that sounded oddly mechanical. Looking around in the dim light, he saw an odd shape making it's way through the pipes and ductwork and suddenly a beam of light was aimed at him. Before he ould react, a hose shot forward and struck the Rogue in the forehead, accompanied by the "whirr" of a vacuum cleaner.

"Damn dust sucker droids!" he exclaimed as he tried to detatch the dust sucking vacuum cleaner tube from his forhead...

*********************************

Meeanwhile, near the cargo hold, Tipper said, "Panic, panic. panic..." then dropped her arms and stopped as Nomad continued to circle and say "Panic, horror, panic, whatever shall we do? Panic..."

Tipper put out a hand and stopped him. "This isn't doing anything constructive, is it?"

Nomad stopped, "No, of course not. It's just something to do to occupy the time until Q and the others get back after they retake command of the ship."'

Then they felt the ship lurch again as it went into hyperspace.

Nomad regained his ballance, "Tha's the second jump. That means we will be headed to an Emergency Rondevous Point."

"Does that help?" asked Tipper

"That depends. Is this ship native to this reality, or is it from another reality. If it's from this reality, it will be something like an Evil Galactic Empire Regional Command and Control Hub." said nomad.

"And if it's not from this reality?"

"Then it might be something similar to a EGERCNCH, like a giant integalactic space shopping center or mall."

******************************************

Boikat was studying the readouts as the Black Pearl III came out of hyperspace when Merle exclaimed, "Got them!" and pointed to his left. In so doing, his arm extended right past Boikat's nose, Looking down Merle's arm to where his finger was pointing, Boikat said, "Okay, so 270, by zero relative..." and made some adjustments. The Black Pearl III rotated and with another flash of blue sparks and a swirl of blue fog, disappeared into hyperspace.

Seconds later, the small black ship dropped out of hyperspace and Boikat pulled the Emergency Inertial Damper Lever to avoid rear ending a huge ship that suddenly appeared right in front of them.

Boikat shook his fist at the offending ship, "Wassa matta wit you!? Never heard of brake lights!" the Felid yelled, as if anyone on the other ship would have heard him in the vacuum of space.

"Hey! That the Star Destroyer!" exclaimed Merle.

"Oh! We were so close, I couldn't tell." Sticking his finger in his ear, he tickled his comm cricket.. "Hello? Anyone home?"

There was a burst of static and two voices. One said, "Mummph..Merph..errrgh!", and was accompanied by the sound usually associated with a shop-vac, the other a young womans voice, said, "Pirate! This is my ship, I claimed salvage fair and square! Go away or we will be forced to capture you and turn you over to the authorities!"

As she spoke, Boikat glanced at Merle, rolled his eyes, flipped the arming switches to the Black Pearl III's proton cannons. The small ship was convieniently parked rght behind the weakest point on a Star Destroyer: The Main Garbage Ejection Port.

Before Merle could say, "Bad idea!", Boikat hit the "Fire" button.

There was a flash of light, followed by an explosion of garbage as the Main Garbage Hold decompressed. The Black Pearl III was suddenly engulfed in a cloud of centuries old refuse, much of which had decayed into a gooey tar like substance, which now pelted the small ship.

The woman's voice came over the Comm Cricket, "Do not put any more holes in my ship!"

"That was a bad idea." said Merle.

Boikat studied the splattering goo that now covered most of the forward port of the Pearl, "You should have said something."

Merle just shook his head. "Now what?"

"Hold your nose, we're going in." said the Felid.

[who me]

Bare swerved and then gianed controll of the ship again some thing had blown out in the ships rear and the one engin was smoking hevaly as little and hopefully unimportant parts floated away.

then stomped on the brakes. ( hit the reverse thrust )" there was a spot right there! now we have passed it. by the time we orbit the station it will be gone. Darn! did you hear something? I thought something just rear ended us.

pim stopped arguing with the air vent, "it was probobly some part of the ship that fell off. why don't you just park?"
"I want to get a place close to the entrance."
"you know we would be there by now if you had just parked, this crusing around is takeing longer than walking to the entrance would take?"
"well it is better to paark close to the entrance"
"why? said pim "
"yes why? " came the voice out of the air vent.

[who me]

"because that way you don't have to travel that far to the mall entrance, you save time that way." Bare replied.
"but you took far longer looking for a parking space."
the air vent nodded.

the hologram popped back on to the bridge and spoke
"WELCOME TO THE INTERGALACTICK MALL, WHERE THERE ARE GOGOL'S OF SHOPS FOR ALL SPIEHIES SERVING ALL OF YOU NEEDS. IF THE INTERGALACTICK MALL DOES NOT HAVE WHAT YOU NEED THEN IT DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS GALAXY!
MONTHLY GIVEAWAY'S AND PRIZES! JUST ENTER YOUR NAME AND WITH YOU FIRST PURCHAS THIS MONTH YOU CAN WIN A CANARRY YELLOW HUMMVEE SURFACE TRANSPORTER.

Pim pushed the mute button, the holograms did not disappear this time but was silent.
I hate pop up advertising Pim said.

Bare finely found a acceptable parking spot and slowly eased into the space and instantly another hologram popped up.
"i AM SORRY." The hologram said in a pleasant voice" YOUR VEHICKLE IS KLASSED AS TO LARGE TO USE THIS LEVAL OF PARKING PLEASE USE, THE LEVAL DESIGNATED FOR LARGE VEHICKLES."

[who me]

"you have got to be kidding." said Bare said slowely backking out we are not much bigger than that ship right there. he waved his paw in the direction of a small two sentiant shuttle. As several thousand small ship parking spaces were freed up little ships appeard out of no where and all raced for the avalable parking spaces.

as bare perpared to look for another convinenlty close parking spot
Pim desided to page threw the regestry of the shopping mall, "Oh, look this store has lavender sope ! I love lanvender. I'll put that on the list.now that I think of it...with the bus ship blown up on a planet god knows were I guess I had better get new stuff."
pim entred "tooth brush" and got the same store. "that is convinient."

"what was that asked the air vent?"
"the blaster emporium?"
"Yes yes go back to that."
"Im not going there" said pim " I don't need a nurton bobmb or any thing like that. "
"hear is a store selling ice, would you like to go there Bare?"
"ICE, Do they have fish?"
"no, just ice, but there is a aquatic store neer bye."
"we can look. I miss Ice."
"a clown store, isnt that funny, the have Yo-Yo's."

the star destroyer not in the best shape to begin with sputtred and lurched in the direction of the large space ships parking.

from the space station a small swarm of service robots flew after the star destroyer gathering up all the bits and peaces that were falling off.

[Qray]

Veneno was getting that odd feeling when things didn't make sense...and Q wasn't even around. "Who programs in the destination of a Space Mall as an ERP for a military ship?"

"Someone who needs to unwind after a hard day's battle with some lavender soap I guess," WildCard mused then yelled out of the air-duct grate. "Hey! They've got a great salmon store at this Mall. Salmon! Salmon! Salmon! It's the one on level seven run by sentient River Otters."

"Ask if they've got lilac scented bath salts at that lavender soap store," Veneno urged. "I like Lilac."

Meanwhile, under the deck plates, Q was slowly rubbing his temples. "Women," he muttered and flipping the switch on Veneno's borrowed light saber began cutting through the floor.

[Qray]

Q had thought it was a good plan. Divide and conquer, out flank 'em on two fronts, double pincher movement, subterfuge and all that jazz. In theory, and considering their limited time and resources (not to mention that Q had been drinking heavily at the time) it wasn't a bad plan per se. It only had one serious drawback.

Ok, it had more than one drawback. For instance, Q was in the plan. That alone would've been enough for most military planners to think twice about anything, but the main flaw in the current plan that Q was experiencing was that he didn't take into consideration what would happen when he attempted to cut through the floor that was only inches above his face with a light-saber.

The rogue realized this the moment the first drop of molten metal from the melted floor hit his face.

"Son of a...hot! hot! hot!"

[who me]

after quite a bit of frustration and dealing with a wonky computer that kept braking out in to song mostly "Daisy"
bare manages to maneuver the decaying star destroyer to the over sized space ship parking lot. After making a orbit or two he finally pulled into a space, instantly another hologram pope up and informed him that this was a valley parking only.
Bares response was not for the tender ears of our readers, But suffice to say...the air turned a shade of blue on the bridge.
Bare threw the ship into reverse and thundered off towards the docking port for valley parking.

pulling into the valley parking isle a shuttle sped off to the meet the star destroyer.

say Bare said pim is it warm in hear?
I am always warm. why?
"well" said pim looking around, "the floor seems to be glowing a bit over there." Pim walked over to the floor plates, they defiantly felt hot and were a dull red. running over to the wall she grabbed the fire hose and held it over the hot floor plates then tuned on the watter. the watter made a hissing sound as it evaporated off the metal. steam rose to the ceiling.
pim looked over the cooling plates. and pored more watter over them. better safe than sorry there might be a fire down there. on the other hand she thought, there is no smoke.

the shuttle had docked. the valet who was named Christian copic looked around the small docking bay, it had a air about it of a place that had been deserted for a long time. there was dust and sand all over. part of the outer wall was missing and the only thing keeping the atmosphere in place was a force field. Christian had actually noticed that the star destroyer was in abysmal shape bits falling off all over the place the engines were not synchronized if working at all. "I have to get a better job." thought "this place is a death trap. I would not want to park this thing much less fly any place in it." He struggled into his space suite fearing sudden decompression or opening a hatch into the depths of space.

[Nomad]

The specter of Nomad appears out of RL to wave before being stolen back....

[who me]

christens blood froze, that was weird. He hated weird days and this ship just crawling with weird things waiting to happen.
not surprising that no one had been there to escort him to the bridge. He hated wrecks like these, Now if this star destroyer had been in its prime a pair of storm troopers would have been waiting for him with a Death Squad Commander to make some small talk on the way to the bridge. He would have stood on the bridge and his entire job would be to touch nothing and tell the Death Squad Commander where the parking spot was. Then he would have gotten his tip.

he walked down the grungy corridor, but still this was a real star destroyer, he had never seen one before. the glorious empire had disappeared a long time ago.
Things had worked then. the streets were clean and safe. people had work and it was easy to get promoted.

what christen would not give to have lived back then, he could have become a pilot, instead of a parking valet. stupid job, it did not even pay enough to cover the cost of living and his one room apartment.
tips were vital to his scraping by. Most people preferred to park there own ships, anything to save a pfennig.
the only good thing about the job was that he got to fly allot of different ships, nice ships.

But still despite the dilapidated condition of this ship, it was awe inspiring. It was huge and back then they had really built things with quality. This ship was ancient and still flying. No ship today could last this long.

[Boikat]

Bear asked, "Where are we going?"

"We're going to the local Office of Salvage and Derelict Registration. In a Space mall this bit, there's bound to be a SDR office."

There was a "thump!" from under the deck plate of the bridge, followed by a muffled "Smeg!".

"What was that?" asked Bear.

"Probably a space rat. I guess we should also have this thing fumigated..." the woman mused as the two left the bridge.

************

Under the deck plates, the Unreliable One gave the Droid Dust Bunnie Remover one last kick, holstered the Light Saber, and began a hasty extraction to the nearest air vent. Along the way, he keyed his sub-dermal comm, "WildCard, Veneno, we gotta move quick!"

"Say again?" came Veneno's voice. "..Lot of interference.."

Q said slowly, "Find the local Salvage and Derelict Registration office! I'll catch up! Go, now!"

***********

On board the Black Pearl III, still stuck in the Star Destroyers main garbage hold, Merle was about to say, "Bad Idea." just as Boikat pressed the hatch button. Then pressed it again to close the hatch.

"Do you feel nauseous?" asked Boikat.

"Yes I do" said Merle.

"Opening the hatch was probably a bad idea, wasn't it."

"Yes it was." said the mage as he handed Boikat a "barf Bag", then opened one for himself.

****************

A space taxi picked up the woman and the bear from one port, while at almost the same time, another space taxi picked up WildCard and Veneno at another. Both moved off at roughly the same direction, aiming for a docking port near the hub of the Space Mall.

***************

The sound of the Rogue's "shootin' boots" hit the deck with a thud, and after getting his bearings, Q ran down the corridor towards the cargo section. As he ran, he keyed his comm again, "Boikat, You got your ears on?"

There as a gurgling noise, then, "Yes, eweeeee! That's revolting!"

Q slid to a stop at an intersection, "Where are you?"

"Main Garbage Hold."

The rogue shook his head, "Always looking for a free lunch.." he said to himself. "I'll meet you there after I get Tipper and Nomad. That School Bus ship pirate is trying to lay salvage to this ship!"

In the Black Pearl II, Boikat wrinkled his nose, "Maybe we should let her have it.."

"Nope! My ship!" proclaimed the rogue.

Rounding a corner, he almost ran into Tipper an Nomad, who were still still running in circles, reciting "Panic! Horror!"

"Enough of that! Follow me!" Q yelled as he ran by.

Tipper looked at Nomad, Nomad looked at Tipper, they both shrugged and followed Qray down the corridor.

**************

In the Black Pearl III, Merle looked puzzled, and still slightly green. "How are we going to get them in here? That would mean opening the hatch."

Boikat turned a deeper shade of green, and motioned for another barf bag.

After using it, he said, "That does present a bit of a problem...."

The problem was almost immediately solved by the hatch sliding open, and three figures dressed in environment suits staggered in.

Boikat and Merle both grabbed themselves a hand full of barf bags and began to fill them, Boikat managed to motion, "close the hatch", in between heaving, and one of the suit clad figures did so.

One of the figures moved in front to Boikat and lifted the face-plate of the EV suit, turned a shade of green, grabbed one of the unused barf bags from Boikat, and filled it.

"Hi Nommie!" said Boikat.

"Gaaaahhhhh!" said Nomad as he gave a wave back.

"No time to exchange pleasantries!" said Q. "We gotta get to the SDR office, pronto!"

[Qray]

"What's so important about that hunk of junk?" WildCard demanded over her sub-dermal comm as the space cab sputtered along.

Even though she couldn't see it, Q tapped the Owner's Manual datapad for the prototype Speeder Bike he'd picked up earlier. "I know what the ship is doing here."

"How did you get your ship in the garbage hold anyways?" Q asked Boikat as he pulling his finger out of his ear.

[Boikat]

"How did you get your ship in the garbage hold anyways?" Q asked Boikat as he pulling his finger out of his ear.

"Let's just say I didn't see the brake lights, and leave it at that." The Star Destroyer had enough holes in it already, and the Felid did not see the need to point out that there were a few more.

Q hopped onto the speeder bike and thumbed the "start" button. The three engines hummed to life. "Ill meet you guys at the OSDR office.." he said, then lowered the visor of his helmet and sped off down the corridor.

Boikat, Merle, Nomad and TipperG watched as he went down the corridor, heading towards one of the docking bays.

"Well, back to the Pearl, I guess." said Boikat.

*********************************************

It took a while, but once inside, and after an atmo-flush, Boikat brought up a map of the space mall on the nav-comp. "There it is." he said, pointing at a block that said "OSDR".

"Where's the nearest docking port?" asked Nomad.

Boikat was busy setting some coordinates, "Don't need one.." and pressed the Jump Activation switch.

"Bad idea." said Merle.

The Black Pearl III disappeared in a flash of a blue energy vortex field...

...and reappeared in the promenade of the space mall in front of the Office of Salvage and Derelict Registration.

"Why didn't you do that before..." asked Tipper.

"I didn't think about it until now." said Boikat with a shrug.

Outside, the others converged at the office at the same time; A young woman with a bear, Veneno and WildCard, and Q on his speeder bike. They all managed to rush into the office door at the same time, and ran towards the desk at the far end of he office.

"We're registering a claim!" said Veneno.

"It's my ship, properly tagged!" said the young woman.

"We were there first!" said Qray.

The individual behind the desk, which looked more like a judges bench, looked up, and glared down at the sudden crowd of noisy visitors...



Boikat and the others caught up with the rest, saw the look on the registration officer's face, and pointed at Qray, Veneno and WildCard, "They were on board first.."

The woman with the bear held up the stub of the salvage sticker, "Properly claimed Registration Notice!"

The Registration Officer banged his gavel, "Everyone not claiming the salvage, OUT!"

Boikat, Tipper, Merle and Nomad did an "about face" and left the office.
**********

Back outside the office, Boikat, Tipper, Nomad and Merle looked around and could not help but notice that the Black Pearl III was missing.

"This is where we parked, isn't it?" asked Tipper.

"Yup." said Boikat.

"You locked the hatch, didn't you?" asked Nomad.

"Yup." said Boikat.

"You think it got towed away for being parked in a 'No Parking' zone?" asked Merle.

"Yup." said Boikat as he looked up and down the promenade. To the left, he saw a trail of goo. "Goo from the garbage hold! Follow the goo trail!" he said, and started off at a trot. The others followed.

**************************************

Several hours later...

***************************************

Neither party liked the decision of the Registration Official. Q shifted slightly in the command seat. "Move over a bit more, this thing is designed for only one occupant."

The young woman, "pim", said, You move over, and besides, you're over the line."

The "line" was a red stripe painted down the middle of the bridge. The line went fore and aft through the whole ship. "Port" was Qray's, "Starboard" was Pim's.

They both thought for a moment, then said, "This'll never work."

*****************************

Meanwhile........

*****************************

"No, it was not abandoned!" said Boikat for the tenth time to the Droid wearing a TED helmet

"But it was parked in a No Parking Zone." said the Traffic Enforcement Droid.

"The 'No Parking' was written in an obscure dialect of a species of aliens that has been extinct for the last ten thousand years, and was written in ultraviolet ink!"

"Your point? Look, it's simple. Pay the fine, and you get your ship back."

"But you said the fine was 'fifty thousand Pudackain Pubbles'. What's that translate into actual money?" asked Nomad.

"Are you trying to bribe me?" asked the Droid.

"No. We're trying to figure out how much 'fifty thousand Pudackain Pubbles' converts to, so we can pay the fine!" said Merle.

In the mean time, Boikat was gong through his pockets, trying to find someone else's credit card. Unfortunately, all he came up with was a paw full of lint and a brass casino token.

"Ah!" he said, holding out the token, "A 50 ... Uzbarken... Fingle! That's worth one hundred thousand Pudackian Pubbles!"

"I've never heard of the Uzbarken, and Fingles are not loaded in my Currency Catalog..." said the TED.

"This is getting depressing..." said nomad.

"Depressing? You want depressing? I'll give you depressing....." started the TED.

Boikat's eyes went wide. "Hold it!" he reached out and flipped up the dark visor of the TED helmet. "Marvin!"