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Casual creative writing RP topics where first person/in character participation is the focus instead of classic storytelling.

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Postby Qray » Mon Apr 11, 2005 6:19 pm

Magus wrote:"How is this pornographic? Robots are ill-equipped."


That all depends on where you buy your robot :twisted:
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Re: What the?

Postby Qray » Mon Apr 11, 2005 6:32 pm

Merle wrote:Merle looked down at his assets list, and saw that indeed where he had written "Zathras" only to scratch it out after the alien burst from his chest, now showed simply "Zathras" with no strike through. He turned to Nommy.

"Um, didn't we have to waste Zathras, what with the alien in his chest and all?"


Ah yes, Zathras, but not Zathras :wink:
___________________________

Westley: I mean, if we only had a WHEELBARROW, that would be something.
Inigo Montoya: Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?
Fezzik: Over the albino, I think.
Westley: Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?
-Princess Bride
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The story continues...What desperate people do.

Postby Qray » Mon Apr 11, 2005 8:34 pm

“CHOOOOOOOOOOICE!”

Q was having a good time.

Veneno wasn’t.

As the swirling mass of existence whirled about the pair, they rode the wave of temporal energy closer and closer to their goal. Like a stoked Duke Kahanamoku gashing gnarly on the big ones at Waimea. They edged closer and closer to the circus world of the psycho-looneys and the freaked out body boring alien buggies. Protected only by the oval shaped transparent bubble and Q's questionable surfing ability

“Can you even tell where we’re going?” Veneno yelled over the growing din that existence was putting on the outside of the surf bubble.

“Yeah, no problemo!” The rogue yelled back over the din with a rare occurrence of truth.

His life was one mass of hectic confusion. Picking his way through all of time and existence was just slightly more difficult than staggering to the bar for another round of PGGB’s. Finding the right path wasn’t the problem. Now getting there...that was a different story. “Say, Veneno...you ever do any surfing?”

“No,” Veneno yelled back. “Why?!?!”

“No reason!”

“WHAT?”

“Uh...you might want to lean!”

“Q!!!!!!!!!!”

Doing their best, the pair was able to steer the surf bubble towards the world Q knew to be the one they needed.

“Hey! Where’s Timmy?” Q yelled as they neared the planet and saw that the sentient scout ship was missing from the orbital flotilla. “He better not be drinking my vodka!”

“Focus! D@mn it!” Veneno cursed. “How to we get out of the wave?”

“Er...we’re out.” Q said casually. “We’re moving on shear momentum. I swear, Veneno. If Timmy went back to Bob and is drinking my...”

“Smeg your vodka, Q! How do we land?”

As disbelief covered Q’s face, the rogue found it hard to speak. “Sm...sm...smeg my v-vodka??!?!?!?!?!”

“Q!!!”

“My vodka?!?!?”

“Q!!!!!”

“Smeg my vodka?”

Veneno considered hitting the man, but knowing how many head wounds he'd sustained in his life, decided it wouldn’t get much of a result. Instead, she took both sides of his face in her hands and drawing him closer, kissed him softly on the lips. Watching his eyes go wide in sudden surprise before they softened and his hands began to slip around her waist.

Looking back, Veneno would always say it was a kiss born out of despiration. Ever the gentleman, Q of course would never let her live it down.

As the man's arms wrapped around her and drew her ever closer, Veneno broke the kiss. Exhaling heated breath that washed down the skin of the rogue's neck, she placed her forhead against Q's and wrapped her arms around his neck to softly whisper. "We’re going to die, Q. Focus."

“Uh, right. Landing...right. Um...well...this is probably going to hurt a bit...”
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The story continues...TIMMY!!!

Postby Qray » Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:12 pm

What indeed happened to Timmy?

Well, it happened a short time before the Sisters of Dalia and Sheridan assault on the planet was launched and went something like...

”No way, man. Just admit you’ve got issues with butterflies!”

“I DON’T HAVE ISSUES WITH BUTTERFLIES!” Sheridan yelled through gritted teeth into the comm.

“Timmy,” Aglaranna interrupted. “Everyone over here loves butterflies. Really.”

”Really?”

“Really,” ensured Aglaranna.

”What about Mr. Butterfly hater?”

Aglaranna looked to Sheridan and nodded at the comm mic. After a few moments, the man sighed heavily and keyed it. “Yeah, I love butterflies.”

”How much”

Sheridan reeled back and was about to punch the console, but restrained himself.

“He knows where they’re at,” Aglaranna reminded the Captain.

“I know,” he said shaking his head. “And Granddad thought fighting the Shadows was hard.”

“Look Timmy,” he said keying the mic again. “I just love butterflies. Love ‘em like you couldn’t imagine.”

”Oh I don’t know,” the ship replied. ”I can imagine a lot of stuff. Probably everything short of...oh man! That’s just sick! What’s wrong with you!?!?!?”

“Huh?” Sheridan asked turning to Aglaranna. “What’s he talking about?”

The Elven noble just shrugged.

”Oh man! That’s just the sickest thing I’ve ever heard! Butterfly lover!”

Sheridan held up his hands to Aglaranna, but the elf had no idea what the Leaf Hopper was on about either.

”Sick! Sick! Sick!” the ship cried out. ”No way am I hanging with a butterfly lover!”

“What in the name of the Vorlons is he talking about...Hey! Where is he going?!?!?”
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The story coninues...Of bruised boys and girls.

Postby Qray » Mon Apr 11, 2005 9:25 pm

Darkness slowly gave way to...well...more darkness. But it was a different kind of darkness. That kind of open your eyes after exiting a temporal wave surf bubble crashing into a planet and getting knocked unconscious kind of darkness.

“Veneno?” Q croaked out.

“Yeah,” the woman replied weakly after a short silence.

“I think I bruised one of my boys.”

“I think I bruised both of my girls,” the ex-MIB agent replied.

For some reason, that got a weak and cough filled laugh out of them both.

“Well,” Q said slowly getting to his feet and helping Veneno up. “We made it back into the tunnels.”

"And I saw the way out on the way down," Veneno replied.
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The Day the Earth stood still.

Postby lastone » Tue Apr 12, 2005 1:09 am

Like Q said the one that had the alien pop out of his chest was Zathras. It was Zathras that found the way out. Similar but not the same. That should explain it for you. That together with messing with temporal mechanics and your aunt may just turn out to be your uncle.


The sisters of Dalia were forming into a defensive shield wall when a loud “SMEG” could be heard coming from the tunnels then followed the sound of rapid firing from twin pairs of Kilo-Zaps. Side by side Qray and Veneno backed out of the tunnels then bolted for their lines. Lastone noted that Qray had a strange expression on his face similar to when he paid a visit Lucrecia Correlli the quadruple breasted courtesan of Castelleran 5, however things started to get busy as hundreds then thousands of alien creatures surged from the tunnels to take positions opposite them.

Then the Alien Queen emerged to take up command of her troops for what was to be their final encounter. Advertising executives and middle aged Librarians to the left of them. Lawyers and small government officials to the right of them. The Alien queen and all her minions in front of them. Was this to be the valley of death for our hero’s? Did their children manage to get the ultimate revenge on their parents?
"Goodbye and thanks for the fish"
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Re: The Day the Earth stood still.

Postby Qray » Wed Apr 13, 2005 1:02 am

lastone wrote:...That together with messing with temporal mechanics and your aunt may just turn out to be your uncle.


Hey, what you kids do down in Australia is no one's business but yours :twisted:

“Ohhh...a lesson in not changing history from I”m my own grandpa!”
- Futurama
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And the story continues...of PGGBs and Big Bangs.

Postby Qray » Wed Apr 13, 2005 2:37 am

“The XT581Detonator was a marvel of technology, explosives, and miniaturization. An oval disc smaller than most humanoid’s hands, it packed enough of a punch that, if positioned properly, could destroy an entire planet. Hence it’s popular nickname, the Big Bang Detonator.

The Detonator packed just slightly less of a punch than a pitcher of Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters...
-Excerpt on “The Big Bang Detonator” from the Encyclopedia Galactic Fabulousschmabulous carptaculous...junior edition.


“It looks like they all made it out of the tunnels,” Q said as he ran. At least running as well as anyone could who just sideswiped a planet. “I saw everyone on the surface on our way down.”

Veneno nodded as she ran alongside the rogue. “It looked like a bunch of ad execs and lawyers too.”

“At least they didn’t bring the tv programmers.”

“We should get back up there,” Veneno added and Q stopped to look around.

“This should be close enough,” the man said and taking a knee, placed the oval, metallic disc he’d recovered from Monica Lewinski on the tunnel floor. “I’m setting the timer for...hmm...this thing doesn’t have much of a maximum countdown,” he muttered as he set the timer on the Big Bang Detonator. “Well, I’ll set it for max time and...”

“And?” Veneno asked as she glanced back and forth down the tunnel.

Q stood and sprinted towards the direction of the tunnel exit. “And RUN AWAY!”

And run they did. Encountering a few small bands of bad guys, they quickly made their way to the surface. Finally making it back to their own lines.

“Run away! Run away!” Q shouted as he ran through the line. “Victory is ours! Run away! First round is on Lastone! Run away!”

“Uh Q,” Veneno said halting the rogue and pointing at her watch.

“Well, smeg,” it should’ve went off by now...holy crude vapors! Is that one ugly momma!” the rogue cursed seeing the alien Queen emerge.

Eyeing the pug ugly and the mass of evil forces marshling against them, Veneno put a fresh clip in her Ruger and checked the charge on her Kil-O-Zap. “And we came back here why?”
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Postby Qray » Sun Apr 17, 2005 10:08 pm

“Where the smeg you been?!?!?!?”

Q flashed WildCard a grin as he unloaded with both Kil-O-Zaps at the enemy lines. “Miss me?”

The cardweaver raised her hands to the skies, and crumpling two playing cards with storm clouds inscribed on them, rained bolts of lightening down onto the ad execs. A blinding barrage of destruction, that only thinned the lines momentarily as more felt-tipped three piecers funneled into the fray. “With every bullet so far, Wonko.”

“I would’ve been here sooner,” the rogue said with a nod to the ex-MIB agent next to him. “But Veneno felt the need to get hot and heavy with me...”

“It was ONE kiss, rogue!” Veneno said through gritted teeth. Doing her best to keep track of the shots from the her Kil-O-Zap and Ruger AND any rumors Q may be spreading.

“One kiss is worth a thousand gropes, Veneno. Hey, Card,” Q continued as he fired at the ad execs without looking. “Have you seen Timmy? That sorry sot didn't go off to drink my vodka did he?”

WildCard rolled her eyes. She loved the mother’s milk known as Russian vodka almost as much as her sometimes cousin Q. But the man’s obsession with the nectar ranked right up there in the ‘deranged’ scale. “Q, have you ever thought of getting professional help?”

The rogue scratched the top of his head with the end of his Kil-O-Zap before firing off a few shots nonchalantly at the lines of the lawyers. “Well...yeah.”

“‘Bout time,” the woman muttered. “You know Q, sometimes I worry...”

“I mean, as soon as we win this, it’s a quick dip in the oceans of Planet Bob and then off to Madame Twitchies House of Whips and Giggles for...”

“FOR THE LAST TIME,” WildCard yelled. “NOT THAT KIND OF HELP!”

Q looked truly confused. “There's other kinds of help?”
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Postby Qray » Sun Apr 17, 2005 10:32 pm

Taking shelter behind a large enough hill, Q tried to think like a vodka powered, sentient Leafhopper scout ship.

“Ok, if I was Timmy...where would I be...”

“Hey Q!”

“Hey Merle!”

“You wouldn’t have a,” the mage began to ask then crouched slightly as an odd thunder was heard in the distance. “What the frak was that?”

“Sounded like artillery,” the rogue muttered as he peered cautiously over the top of the hill. “But...uh-oh!”

“Uh-oh what?”

Q dove to the ground “Incoming human cannonball!”

With a thud the top of the hill showered down on the pair as the human projectile ricocheted off it to land a few dozen yards away. Groaning something about it’s naughty bits being bruised.

“Ohhh sure!” Q yelled as he stood up and shook his fist in the direction of the enemy. “Now you get it right!”

“Do you believe that?” the rogue asked as he slumped back down behind the hill.

“Takes all kinds,” Merle said with a shrug. “Hey, you don’t have another Kil-O-Zap or something do ya? These PPG’s I got from the Excalibur crew just don’t have the punch I need and since my magic doesn’t work here...”

“Hey! I got sumptin better,” the rogue said taking off his battered leather longcoat and throwing it on the ground. Exposing the many pockets that covered the inner lining like a patchwork quilt.

“Well?” Merle asked as the rogue tried to remember which pocket his ‘sumptin better’ was in.

“You want to try?” asked staring at the coat.

“Frak, I’ve heard even WildCard won’t touch the inside of that coat.”

“Yeah, your right,” the rogue replied then bracing himself by standing on the coat, reached inside one of the pockets and began pulling.

Defying most major laws of physics, the pocket opening expanded and allowed the rogue to pull forth the mechanical menace that was...

“My Jackhammer!”

“Found it in the tunnels,” Q said with a pat on Merle’s back. “Rock on with your bad self. Hey...you haven’t seen Timmy, have you?”
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The Finale

Postby lastone » Fri Apr 22, 2005 1:23 am

There are times when the human spirit is shown in all its glory. When honor and self-sacrifice are not just words but a code to live by. We see it in the legends of king Arthur. We saw it when the deserts rats held on to Tobruk. Humanity with all its imperfections shines forth or fifth even. Unfortunately this was not to be one of those times.

Like most of the conflicts that the retched refuse are involved in, it usually occurs by accident and mostly because there is no place to run. Most of us would rather make live than war. Accept for Q who would rather drink stoli. As a point of historical reference Q on one occasion did seek professional help. Four psychiatrists three Psychologists and a very attractive red headed nurse collapsed in catatonic states. They now reside at the Lawrence Ulric National Acute Trauma Intensive Care Facility And Rest Mansions (L.U.N.A.T.I.C F.A.R.M.) as patients.

But I digress. As usual with our “Misguided Miscreants” in times of conflict chaos occurs. There is a lot of screaming and yelling (Mostly by them) a great deal of weapons fire. To this day the powers that be cannot work out how they have not shot one another. Then through instinct rather than planning something happens to save the day.

For example, we know that they cannot use their powers in the alternate universe. But that Lastone was able to get Boikat to chance form just by thinking of it. Thus when Lastone had a stray thought that he wished Rodanth was here. Boikat changed into the fire-breathing dragon. No thought, no planning just pure dumb luck. I think Boikat got some perverse please in dealing with the crack division of grey haired librarians but his victory roll after her incinerated the lawyers and advertising executives was glorious.

Meanwhile John Sheridan Jr. was feeling something warm and pulsing in his pocket.

“Okay hold it right there. I know what you are thinking. Fair enough on most occasions you would be right. This time you are wrong. It’s the triluminary. An ancient devise brought back from the future to the past by his great, great, etc. Grandfather Valen. It was that devise that became warm and uncomfortable inside his trouser pocket. So he took it out. It glowed an eerie gold. Sheridan seemed transfixed on it as he slowly strode forward. The Alien creatures parting before him like the Dead Sea before mosses. (Nah he looks nothing like Charlton Heston)

As the light from the Triluminary falls upon the Alien Queen she cries in pain and shies away from the device. The light follows her and envelops her. Within in the light you can see her change and transform.


Image


“Hello I am Valen, there is much here to do.” Announces the transformed Alien Queen.


Sheridan shakes the triluminary like a transistor radio that has too much static and the golden light pulses a new. As the Alien Queen transforms once more the alien foot soldiers seem to convulse and die, as if they had been washed with stoli.

Finally the Alien Queen finishes her transformation.


Image

“Well your not Marcus, but we could Boff once and see how it goes.


In what seems to be a moment of desperation Sheridan tries once more to make the triluminary do its stuff. The golden light flickers momentarily. Sheridan shrugs and puts the triluminary back into his pocket

Image
"Goodbye and thanks for the fish"
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Postby lastone » Fri Apr 22, 2005 3:39 am

The Smokey haze of battle still hung over the area near the tunnels. Either that or the sisters of Dalia were indulging in some activities legal only in Los Angeles and a few other states and then only for medicinal purposes. Lastone handed Q a stoli. It seemed that only a bottle of this Russian vodka in his hand cured him of his anxiety about the lost leafhopper and sentient craft called Alphonso.

Q was about to object to the name but stopped in mid sentence realizing that yet another day was dawning. Lastone casually poured himself a scotch as Hyperjump was applying a new coat of polish to her nails. All their attentions where drawn to Sheridan’s tent when a load Whoo-Who was heard. Lastone took a sip of his scotch and announced like Ultimate great grand sire like Son. All responded with a low guffaw.

Wildcard wondered up to the group it was a warm balmy night on the big top planet and all wanted some time to rest and recuperate before heading home. Wildcard had spent the afternoon bathing and a light sent of lavender preceded her as she approach. She joined the others in the circle around the open fire. None of the group was willing to consider how it got started and Boikat remembered nothing once he transformed back.

Looking at Lastone with an impish grin, Wildcard enquired, “When were you going to tell us?”

“Tell you what?” replied Lastone.

“Well that you are about to be a father.”

It was an unfortunate moment of bad timing as Lastone was just at that moment taking a sip of his scotch, that scotch sprayed into the fire and the fire flared. Coughing and spluttering Lastone managed to ask “What?”

“I’m sorry Lastone I thought that you knew” Wildcard apologized.

Qray just sat back and quietly mouthed the word Nextolast.

Veneno was a little bit more agitated. What the hell she thought. It was only a kiss.

Meanwhile back in the normal universe but a few centuries back in time Halle Berry was throwing up and inexplicably coughing up a fur ball.

The silence of the group counting back dates and trying to remember incidents when they were drunk was shattered when John Sheridan Jr. Announced his wedding plans. He would be married back at the PATD in within the month.
"Goodbye and thanks for the fish"
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