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Bears Motorhome Trip

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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:25 pm

Message: Back at the bar....
Author: - Bmat Curie
Date: Sep 2, 2000 13:42
Sammy and Angry leaned against the bar, quaffing beers and grinning hugely. They were feeling right at home.

In walked the Sheriff and two deputies: "Just what do you think you too are doing??" asked the Sheriff in a perturbed voice.

Angry and Sammy looked at each other then back at the Sheriff.

Sammy: "Uh...you talkin' ta us?"

Sheriff: "Well do you see anyone else in here?!"

Sammy and Angry took a look around. By golly there wasn't anyone else in the bar. Angry scratches his head and said to Sammy: "Dere were people here when we came in....rite?"

Sammy muttered back to Angry: "Ummm- dunno- I was lookin' at the bar and da beer and didn't pay attenshun."

They both looked back at the Sheriff and grinned sheepishly (bearishly?).

The Sheriff rolled her eyes and snarled: "Cut the wise-cracking and assume the position!"

Angry grinned: ("Sheriff called Angry "Wise" hehehe")

Sammy looked dumm: "Uh.....da posishun?"

The Sheriff gritted her teeth and snarled: "Turn around you two!! spread your legs and put your hands ...paws....behind your heads!"

The bears, slightly soused as they were, shrugged and meekly complied. One of the deputies commented: "Ummm, Sheriff Jules.....we can't cuff them their um wrists are too big."

The other deputy said: "Ummm.. I don't have to frisk them do I?" looking doubtfully at the two bears. "They don't have any pockets..."

The Sheriff snapped: " Do it!!"

The deputy jumped and walked over to the bears, raised his hands and moved them toward the bears, but when Sammy and Angry started to glower and show their fangs he backed off.

The Sheriff sighed and said: "Oh all right! Bring them to the station."

The 5 traipsed across the street and down a block and entered the station. There were a few other deputies there answering phones and processing a few suspects.

Angry and Sammy were told to sit down on a bench and wait for processing. A deputy came along and told them to go to the fingerprinting area. Angry's and Sammy's prints were taken, although they didn't fit into the little squares.

As the two were led back into the main room, they passed the interrogation room where the Sheriff was now questioning a burglary suspect. She was sure he was guilty but had only weak proof.. She shouted in his face: "Look you little Troll......!"

Angry's head snapped around and he charged into the room. " Where Troll!!!!!!, fangs bared, brows lowered.

The hapless suspect proceded to confess to 24 burglaries, 6 shopliftings, 9 muggings and 2 taking candy from babies.

The Sheriff, with a satisfied smile, looked the bears over with new consideration. "You too looking for a job by any chance?"

Sammy grinned "We gots jobs at PATD."

The Sheriff said: "Ahhhh....Well....I guess the town will cover the bar bill...You two can run along now. Come back whenever you like."

Sammy and Angry walked out of the station amidst much cheering and handshaking.

As they meandered down the street, Angry asked: "Hey....weren't we supposed to do somethin' while we was here?"

Angry replied: "Angry forget...."
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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:26 pm

What happened next got eaten in a SFV meltdown. As a synopses, they got some gas. Angry went fishing in a decorative pond outside a Chinese restaurant. Sheriff Jules decided it was best to just escort the Bears out of town, and get them on their way.
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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:27 pm

Message: After a long nap.
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Sep 19, 2000 16:18
Angry woke up. He stretched. He yawned. He scratched himself absentmindedly. He smacked his lips. MRMPH!@##!@@@#!!!!$#%@^! What was that? He wondered. A strange noise was coming from the front of the RV. Angry scratched his head again. What's that?
Well, he decided to settle back in for a bit more of a nap. Mrpphmhp! Angry! Mforppfpp!!!! There it was again. What was that? Angry decided it was nothing important and closed his eyes. He thought about his good dream, about swimming in a vat of Sammy! Mrpmmphfff! Angry, mmssfttt Sammy ffsff smashed! Fffntrtt oaf! Angry really wished that noise would go away. And something was beginning to stab him in the back, becoming almost painful in fact.
The noise from up front was getting louder too. Angry's eyes sprang open, when he heard, "Bmat, you'se snorin'! You'se stop dat right now!"
"Huh? Mmmmmm, Minbari bears don't snore, Cranky. You'se must be mistaken. Umm, besides, you'se hoggin' da bed. Move over!"
"Dat's cause you'se on da outside! I's ober here next to da wall, an' I'se can't breath! I'se needs more space!"
"You'se quits complainin'! We'se gonna switch tomorrow night, den you'se get's ta sleep on da outside!"
Cranky's voice was getting a little desperate. "I'se gots ta get outta here! I'se can't breath!" Well, Angry could understand that, what with being stuck between Bmat and the wall, up in that little bunk over the driver seat. Look how it sagged!
Mfprrppp Angry! Mmmfpffo smashing me ;;;ghuuddf uuut uytt! Take that! "Yeeeeeeeooooouuuuuucchhhh!" Cried Angry, in sudden pain, as something very sharp poked him very hard in the back. He came leaping off the little bed at the back of the RV, just as Cranky was making a mad scramble to get over Bmat. The two collided amidship, so to speak, while a very crumpled looking Sammy Bear pulled himself up from where Angry had been laying on him.
"Lookout!" Cried Angry, still not aware of what had stuck him in his nether regions! "Angry think bees in here!"
"I gots ta get outside!" Cranky was screaming, as she tried to get past Angry to the door. Meanwhile Angry was trying to put as much distance between himself and whatever stung him as possible. In other words, nobody was moving as they tried to go through/over/around each other.
"You'se be quiet down der!" Growled Bmat. "I'se tryin' ta get my beauty rest!"
"Help!" Was all Sammy could manage.
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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:27 pm

Message: Its October!
Author: Posting fo Sammy Bear is - NOMAD Galileo
Date: Oct 4, 2000 13:43
Sammy finally rolled (crawled) out of the overstuffed bunk. He straighten up a bit when he got outside, with a laudible CRAAAACK. He scratched hi head...yawned a bit...then went WIDE EYED!

RRRROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRR

Sammy jumped back into the RV, threw Angry oout of the door...grabbed Bmat the Bear and slung her over his shoulders and ran into the woods...yelling that "THE BEER GODS OF THE WOODS ARE AWAKE". After that, all that could be heard was..." ow ow ow ow..put...ow...me...ow...down...Smm...mm..mmmy". Sammy was now on a new mission.

It took a few minutes for Angry and Cranky to catch up. Craky was her usual....er...cranky self.

Why yous make us chase yous , Sammy?" says Craky.

"SHhhhhhh", says Sammy...."Listen".

Cranky and Bmat, who was still on Sammies shoulders, cupped their ears.

I'se dont hears nuthin, Sammy. Dis is not fun.

But Everyone turned to see a bear eanin' grin on Angries face. Angry took off like a bat out of hell and headed further into the forest toward a clearing. Sammy ran after him , with Bmat on his shoulders and Craky in tow.

As the all got out of the clearing....they read a big sign that was stung between some trees. It read

OCTOBERFEST 2000
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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:28 pm

Message: Bouncing up and down over Sammy's shoulder
Author: Bmat the Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Oct 4, 2000 21:19
Bmat the Minbari Bear had to hold on tight to her plastic bone crest to keep it from slipping off.

Bmat: "S-S-Sammmmyyyy!!! P-P-P-Puts me D-d-d-d-down will youse?"

Sammy didn't answer, but he did plop Bmat down on the ground with a thud and charged to the barrels of beer with his tongue hanging out.

Bmat oofed and stood up brushed dried leaves off of her. *muttering* "Crazy bear!!!"

Sammy and Angry both settled down at some picnic tables with gallon mugs of beer. Cranky carried over 4 footlong sausages for the group. Bmat picked up a pitcher of beer and of lemonade for their table. But Bmat's feet were soon tapping to the sound of the Polka!
She snapped her fingers (bears can snap fingers?) in time to the music and clapped along, singing with tremendous gusto and volume!

The other three at her table put their hands over their faces when Bmat hopped up to join in with the dancing. Sammy and Angry tried to be invisible, but Bmat peered out of narrowed eyes at Angry who sighed and pushed himself off of the bench. He took one last long swallow and let Bmat lead him into the dance area.

At first Angry stumbled around a bit and stepped on Bmat's feet. Bmat didn't mind since the bears weren't wearing shoes, so it didn't hurt. In fact one of the people in charge advanced upon the two and told them there was a firm rule about shoes having to be worn in the dancing area.

With a great sigh of relief regret Angry stopped trying to dance and started leaving the floor. Bmat held onto his paw tightly and bared her fangs at the intruder, who backed off.

With a sweet smile, and a yank, Angry found himself dancing again. He got the idea this time, and soon the two were flying around the other dancers.

Cranky and Sammy looked at each other speculatively, then they shrugged and ate all four sausages between them.
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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:30 pm

Message: Angry found he enjoyed dancing
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Oct 11, 2000 16:03
It was a lot of fun actually, though probably more so for him than the seven other dancers he'd flattened in his exhuberance. Bmat and Angry careened around the dancefloor, polkaing with an enthusiasm that hadn't been seen since Paxton Pendergarten's Polka Kings played the Too Fat Polka for a visit by Roseanne.

Bmat and Angry were perplexed briefly, when a new song started, and everyone started making bird motions with their hands, flapping their arms, and wiggling their rear ends. The Chicken Dance apparently is unknown in beardom. They got the hang of it soon, though, and were flapping and wiggling with gusto! They were the unanymous choice for the top dancing couple prize. Angry was awarded a Bavarian hat with a little feather on the side of it, and Bmat won a cute bonnet that she proudly tied on over her bone crest. They were looking very much German upon returning to the table to finish their sausages.....

Angry looked at his empty plate. He looked at Sammy. Sammy covered his mouth and burped. Cranky whistled tunelessly while looking everywhere but at Bmat, who was glaring in a most un-Minbarilike way.

Finally, Sammy said. "Um, dey wuz gettin' cold, so we'se ate 'em. We wuz gonna get youse two fresh ones when youse gots done dancin'. Right, Cranky?"

"Um, yeahr, dat's it, Sammy. Dat wuz what we'se was gonna do. So, we'se goes and gets youse two some sausages and um we'se gets submore fer us too, right, Sammy?"

"Yeah! Um, and more Sammies, too!"

Bmat and Angry didn't believe them for a minute, but sat down anyway, saliva dripping out of their mouths waiting for their sausages....
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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:30 pm

Message: Slurping down her lemonade
Author: Bmat, German Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Oct 11, 2000 20:59
Bmat the German Minbari Bear mopped her brow and the drool that was accumulating on the table while she and Angry waited for their snack.

Soon Cranky and Sammy appear laden with 2 footlong sausages apiece and two more gallon mugs of beer and more pitchers of lemonade and beer.

The bears dove in with enthusiasm. Leaned back and burped grandly, then went back for thirds. By this time Bmat was starting to look a bit green aroung the gills.

"Urp....er....scuse me!: she said morosely. She held her tummy and grimaced. The others were looking pretty unhappy too. The all got up and advanced to the portapots. Bmat hung back. "I don wanna go inta one of those things- blech."

Cranky said:"Well dats OK- dere's a woods right over dere."

Bmat blinked- then got in line with a sigh, Then a groan. "owoooo- I gotta get in dere..." She casually bared her fangs a bit and the line of people waiting dispersed. She observed with a wry grin that the other three bears had employed the same tactics.

Later on all four were back in the Bego. Sammy was sprawled out on the drivers seat, eyes glazed, tongue lolling out..Similarly, Angry sprawled across the passenger seat. Cranky was sprawled across the little table. Bmat was sprawled across the bottom bunk.

They were not happy campers.
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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:32 pm

Message: On the road again
Author: Bmat the Minbari Bear - Bmat Curie
Date: Oct 26, 2000 08:25
The 'bego was moving along the highway. Cranky was at the wheel. Bmat the Minbari Bear and Sammy were puzzling over the road map. Angry was snoring loudly in the back bedroom.

The bears all looked up for a second as they had the funny sensation that someone was watching them- but the feeling was soon gone.

Bmat: "I thinks we is here, Sammy- see dat little orange thingy? Look out there- there's a big orange barn- got to be the same thing."

Sammy: *scratching his head* "Well I dunno, Bmat, I see bunches of those orange thingies but not that many orange barns..."

Bmat: "Ohhh....good point. Hey- I gots an idea! Let's turn the map upside down and see if that helps."

The bears rotate the map around so that the S is on the top.

Sammy says: "So what does those letters mean anyhow, Bmat?"

Bmat, clueless as usual, "Wellll it's like this, Sammy. It depends on how you have the map placed. Ya see when we have it with the S upward, the S means "Speed" so if we take this route we make the best time on the road. Then the N means "No don't go below this line", W means "Wrong way" so we don't goes there, E means "Excellent Choice" so I think we needs ta go kinda between the S and the E- so's we can go good an fast....."Bmat runs out of steam.

Sammy nods wisely, his brain however is thinking...What in the world is she talking about...

Nevertheless he agrees that that sounds like a plan, so the next time they see a turn-off to the left they instruct Cranky to head that way.

Before they get very far, though, the 'bego starts bouncing and making a funny sound. Cranky guides it off the road, and the three of them climb out and inspect the tires. Sure enough one of the tires is flat.

The bears all look at each other shrugging.

Cranky: "Nobody knows how ta change one o these things?"

Bmat and Sammy shake their heads. Angry appears at the door, climbs down, and joins the group.

Angry: "Um....we got jack?"

Cranky: "What's jack?" The other two look at each other and shrug again.

Angry: "*yawn* Angry hitch ride, get help."

Angry stands beside the 'bego, thumb out [bears got thumbs??] but no one even slows down to offer help. After a while, Bmat gets impatient.

Bmat: "ahem!....I'se gonna take care of dis. Umm...Angry, why don't you go look for some berries..." When Angry is safely out of the way, Bmat tells the other bears to wait behind the 'bego. She stands by the road and strikes a provocative pose. She bends one knee alluringly, places one hand behind her head and the other on her hip, and she flutters her eyelashes.

Soon the squealing of wheels is heard as a pickup truck stops quickly and a good-looking young man with a grin on his face asks if he can help. Bmat gives a big smile and says:"
Why, aren't youse just the sweetest lil thing there is!!! I gots this here flat tire and I jus don't have the least idea how ta fix it. I needs a big strong man ta help. *fluttering her eyelashes again.""

The man grins again and says "Sure Ma'am, glad to help a pretty little lady like yourself! Where's your jack?"

Angry, having gathered some berries, arrives back at just that time and hears the word "jack"- he grins hugely and nods: "Yes- jack"

The man's jaw drops as he sees all four of the bears. However he good naturedly changes the tire. The bears are all so grateful they invite him in for a drink. They tap another keg and trade baseball stories. Soon the pizza they ordered is delivered.

By this time it is getting dark. The bears offer to let the man sleep in the 'bego, since they know people should not drink and drive, but he assures them he will sleep in his pickup. They all say good night.
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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:32 pm

Message: A fishy story
Author: - Sammy Bear
Date: Oct 30, 2000 18:02
Cranky was cruisin da 'bago right along and through the mountains of...er...the northwest? Efveryone was getting hungry by noon time so Angry quickly told Cranky to stop. He saw lunch! They pulled off the side of the road and Angry sniffed his way across a trail...straight to a stream.
There was a bear there, collecting fish. Angry walked up to him and asked "Hows da fishin' mr. bear?" The bear looked at Angry with a quizical look and growled.

Um...Angry..I doesn't think dis bear talks. He's not from around Nomad mtn. Deres no magics here.

Well, the bear went and took a swipe at Angry. Rut Roh...Angry tilted his head and looked that bear straight in the eye. The next thing that bear knew, he was upsidedown on the other side of the stream , against a tree.

Angry simply brushed off his ha..er...paws and started in on the trout.(Never mess with Angry when fish are involved).

Angry and Sammy collected a lot of fish. They had to get a rythem going and it took a few tries. Angry would snatch a fish and toss it behind him , without looking. The first few attempts had Sammy smacked in th snout a few time. After a few more fish, they got it down. They thre the fiash in an empty Sammy case and away they went. Cranky and Bmat sat Wide eyed at all the fish. Of course, at that point, Bmat ordered everyone out of the galley (kitchenette?) AND COOKED LUNCH.

They were on their way from there. Sammy drove all night and Bmat came to the front and asked Sammy where all the mountains went.

"no Bmat. Cranky sez to follow dis road straight to da park"

Angry popped up fron , after hearing the conversation, and said" Angry read. Angry just see sign....we still going dere...sign say...Dis way to Space Mountain"
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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:35 pm

Message: Meanwhile in the Sunshine State
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Nov 9, 2000 21:13
Oblivious to the national drama being played out all around them, the Bears blundered into Walt Disney World. With Angry at the wheel, Sammy at shotgun, and Bmat and Cranky crammed rather uncomfortably into the little kitchen table benches, Angry followed the signs to Fort Wilderness Resort. He pulled up to the check in station.

"Hi! Welcome to Walt Disney World! My name's Suzy, how can I help you?" The Cast Member was awfully perky.

Angry looked over at Sammy and shrugged. Turning back to perky Suzy, Angry replied. "Angry need place park 'Bago."

"Yes, here at Disney's Fort Wilderness Campground, we have a whole world of adventure waiting for you. Our 784 campsites have water, sewer and electric hookups. Every evening, there's fireside storytelling. Enjoy horseback riding or hiking. Or have a swim in one of our two pools." Bmat and Cranky fervently hoped bears were allowed in the pools. "Have a delicious meal at Crocket's Tavern. Or you can have a rip roarin' good time at the Hoop De Doo Revue."

"Angry like roaring. See?" Angry gave her his best and most feirce roar. The color drained from Suzy's face at that.

"Um, yes, so I see." She forced a smile and continued on. "So, what's your name?"

"Angry Bear," stated Angry. "Your name Suzy. Angry read tag. Angry like reading."

"Yes, that's so nice!" Suzy beamed at him, already recovering her composure. "Now, let me call up your reservation here....." Suzy stared at her computer screen, tapping keys. "Hmmm....." She tapped some more keys.

"Mr. Bear, I'm not finding your reservation. Could it be under another name?"

"Sammy Bear?"

"Um, no, I don't think so. I don't show any reservations for anyone named 'Bear.'"

Angry scratched his head again. "What's 'reservation?'"

Suzy lost her smile momentarily. "Don't you have a reservation? Didn't you call and ask for a campsite ahead of time?"

Angry was rather confused. "No. Angry not mean come here, but need place park 'Bago." He looked at her cheerfully. "We going to Yellowstone. Bmat get us lost."

Suzy was tapping keys furiously. "OK, I can do this. We're not full, lucky for you. And I can get you a site. How will you pay for this?"

Sammy handed Angry a Valen Platinum Visa, which Angry handed to Suzy.

"Very good. Now, I'll use this to make your first night's rent. I've assigned a space near Bay Lake for you. I'm sure you'll love the view. Sign here."

She pushed some papers at Angry, who proudly wrote his name down everyplace he was told to.

Suzy gave them directions to their campsite, and soon the 'Bago was rumbling down the trail toward Bay Lake, though Sammy's nose started twitching when they passed Crocket's Tavern.
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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:35 pm

Message: Meanwhile back at Bay Lake...
Author: - Angry Bear
Date: Dec 14, 2000 12:51

The bears were getting their camp set up, though Angry continually was stopping and staring at nearby Bay Lake. Sammy was equally distracted, stopping every now and then to sniff the air in the direction of Crocket's Tavern.

With everything set up, Bmat and Cranky had settled down at a picnic table to look at some brochures that Perky Suzy had given them. Angry started to wander toward the lake. Sammy stood looking at everyone, then looking wistfully in the direction of Crocket's Tavern. Then, reluctantly, he followed Angry down to the lake's edge, knowing he wouldn't be able to dissuade that bear from fishing....

Several campers were swimming in the lake, and noticed the two rather large bears walking upright in their direction. But Angry and Sammy were oblivious to their points and screams.

Angry walked along the bank for a bit, peering into the water. Then spying a likely bass, he jumped in and made a lunge. A wriggling bass flew up on the bank, and Sammy grabbed it. After just a few minutes, there were several wriggling bass on the bank, and Angry climbed out of the lake.

Angry and Sammy gathered up the fish, and headed back to their camp. Bmat and Cranky hardly noticed them drop their catch on the picnic table, being so engrossed in the guidemap to the Magic Kingdom.

Sammy nudged Angry. "I'se smells some Sammies." Angry nodded and the two snuck off in the direction of Crocket's Tavern.
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Postby Merle » Tue May 22, 2007 3:40 pm

Posted by Nomad:

It was time for da Bears to pack up and head out for Yellowstone National park. They had asked their local ttoty Frutie park ranger where Yellowstone was and after some rather long bouts of laughter, they were told. After seeing the dumbfounded looks on the bears faces, the ranger highlited the route for them on their map.
The bears gave the Ranger a great big bear hug which of course turned the ranger blue. When the bears left frontier land they heard a great big CLANK as the gates were LOCKED SHUT. Hmmmmmm

The bears were driving through Disney as they were given a little leeway and Angry Bear stopped short in front of a building.

"Hey!…why youse stop Angry"? asked Cranky Bear.

Me saw a sign that said bears on it and want to look.

So they hop out of the RV and head in where they were greeted by a bunch of banjo playin hoopin up bears. WELL, the bears got into the swing of things and started to dance. Tha wasn't enough for Angry bear though. He had a secret passion for trying to play an instrument…he headed up on stage and grabbed a banjo of of one of the bears.

AAAAHHHHH GRrrr…yells Angry…um sorry.

Angry gave the bear back his arm but kept tryting to play the banjo. Needless to say…all the other patrons were aghast and left prompty. Bmat, Sammy and Crank all went up an stage and basically stomped to their hearts content.

Suddenly…the Magic Kingdom Police came storming in……………………
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