speculative visionscience fiction and fantasy

Now with extra pulp!

Television, movie and comic scripts.

Moderators: Bmat, Qray

    Bookmark and Share
 

Now with extra pulp!

Postby Iron Syndicate » Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:04 pm

A fun little piece, I tried my hand in a little genre-writing, this time around, it pure, cheesy, pulp. Let me know what you think.
----------------------------------------------------------
Rex Danger and the Snake-Men of Dorum-Na
By Itai Rosenbaum
21.07.06

Page 1 (3 panels)

Panel 1 - Our camera is positioned in the air, roughly 2 meters away from the edge of a cliff, looking towards the actual cliff. Almost up until the edge of it is heavy jungle. Lot’s of trees, foliage and underbrush, so much in fact, that we can’t see anything through this “wall” of vegetation. There is a small clearing at the very-edge, just enough room for a grown man to stand on.

Panel 2 - Same panel, except there is a blade slicing through the leaves, vines and bushes. The blade should scimitar-like, the kind a jungle explorer would use. We cannot see the blade’s wielder, as he the plants still hide him.

Panel 3 - Once again, same shot, but now REX DANGER stands at the edge of the cliff, looking very heroic. REX should be your typical pulp-hero - a Doc Savage meets Indiana Jones. He should be wearing adventuring gear fit for the jungle environment. In one hand he is holding the large blade that he used to slice through the foliage, and in the other he is holding a pistol. He should be slightly scuffed, though nothing to serious, just a few scrapes and scratches.

CAP (REX): FRANKLY, I’M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED.

CAP (REX): HAD TO WRESTLE ONLY TWO JAGUARS ON THE WAY.

Page 2

Splash Page. The camera is now located behind and slightly above REX. We see him looking over the cliff, at the valley at the bottom. We should get the sense that the cliff is pretty high up, and not much of a way down, except for a few rocky outcroppings here and there. If one was to try climbing down this cliff, it would sure be dangerous.
At the bottom of the valley are the ruins of an old Incan temple, something open, like a temple to a sun-god or along those lines. There should be columns, and tumbled walls, go crazy. One piece of the temple that should stand out is a raised altar in the center of the temple.
From this high up, we should barely be able to make the little figures scattered across the temple grounds. But we should still be able to see that they’re there. Even as little spots on the ground. There is also a figure on the altar, though once again, no detail.

CAP (REX): I AM REX DANGER. PROFFESIONAL ADVENTURER.

CAP (REX): BELOW ME IS THE LOST TEMPLE OF DORUM-NA.

CAP (REX): THE TEMPLE IS TEEMING WITH VICOUS, POISON-SPEWING SNAKE-MEN.

CAP (REX): THEY HAVE SOMETHING OF MINE.

CAP (REX): AND I WANT IT BACK.

Page 3 (6 Panels)

Panel 1 - We are looking down the Cliffside. We should really get a sense of vertigo from looking at this panel. The cliff seems to go on forever until it reaches the grassy ground again. A few meters down the cliff is REX hanging practically by his fingernails from a tiny, little outcropping. It is clear he is climbing down and didn’t fall. His pistol and blade are holstered and sheathed.

Panel 2 - The ground at the bottom of the cliff, REX is positioned in a crouch, as if he just landed from a large jump. His blade is already in his hand, and he is reaching for the pistol with the other (or you can reverse it, whatever looks better).

Panel 3 - The camera is behind REX. He is crouching behind on of the ruins, looking at the altar. Lying on it we can see DESIRÉ SWAN, her hands are tied to the altar’s sides, and her entire lower body is covered by an ornamental blanket. The decorations on the blanket should feature some Incan motifs, and some depictions of snakes. DESIRÉ is one hot little number. She is clad in a snake-skin bikini top, and a golden necklace with a snake-fang medallion adores her neck. She has lush, red curls, and full lips complete with a cute little nose and ice-blue eyes. Poised above her is a snake-man PRIEST, the snake-men are beings with human bodies from the waist-up and snake bodies from the waist down. The PRIEST should wear some time of ornamental collar, and what-ever other crazy religious markings you want to go with - tattoos, bracelets, funky hat, go wild. He holds in his hand an ornamental sacrificial blade, the hilt is golden, and lined with various gems, while the blade is also golden and slightly curved, the weapon glints in the sunlight.
Behind REX we can see one of the SNAKE-MEN sneak up on him.

CAP (REX): THE PRETTY ONE IS DESIRÉ SWAN. SHE JUST HAPPENS TO BE AN... ASSOCIATE.

CAP (REX): THE UGLIES WANT TO SACRIFICE HER TO THEIR SNAKE-GOD TO GAIN IMMORTALITY.

CAP (REX): ...OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES.

Panel 4 - Close-up of REX’s head as he quickly turns his neck to look behind him at his assailant.

CAP (REX): NATURALLY, I CAN’T LET THAT HAPP--

Panel 5 - Close-up on REX’s pistol as it fires a bullet.

SFX: BANG!

Panel 6 - Medium shot of the SNAKE-MAN as he takes the bullet to the chest, falling backwards.

Page 4 (7 Panels)

Panel 1 - Shot of the altar, with DESIRÉ and the PRIEST. The PRIEST is fuming and he points with edge of his blade off-panel towards REX. DESIRÉ can’t get up as she is tied down, but she bends towards REX’s direction as much as she can (which isn’t much more than turning her head and chest), her eyes light up and her mouth is open as she scream’s in delight.

DESIRÉ: REX!

PRIEST: IT’SSSS DANGER! SSSSSIEZE HIM!

Panel 2 - REX faces off against an army of SNAKE-MEN with various weaponry - spears, swords, flails, what-ever you want to draw. He fires his pistol at one, and hits the SNAKE’s forehead, and he slices at another’s abdomen.

SFX: BOOM!

SFX: SLICE

Panel 3 - REX kicks a SNAKE-MAN squarely in the chest, while stabbing another one.

Panel 4 - Close-up on REX’s pistol-arm as he gets stabbed by one of the SNAKE’s spears and the pistol drops from his hand.

SFX: SHTCK

Panel 6 - Overhead shot of the altar. The PRIEST has his hand raised over his head, holding the blade so it would stab DESIRÉ’s chest, right between her breasts. She should be in a sexy, writhing “damsel in distress” pose, trying to wrench free, but to no avail. The blanket should still cover her entire lower half.

PRIEST: I CLAIM THISSSS SACRIFICSSE IN THE NAME OF DORUM-NA, SO THAT HE MAY SSSLITHER OUT INTO THE WORLD AND EMBRACE USS IN HIS GLO--

Panel 7 - A Medium-shot of the PRIEST, his eyes open in shock, his mouth gaping in mid-word. REX’s blade has gone clean through his stomach. We can see REX stand behind him, a determined look on his face.

REX: EMBRACE THIS YOU SCALEY SCUMBAG!

Page 5 (4 Panels)

Panel 1 - REX pulls his blade out of the PRIEST’s fallen, lifeless body.

CAP (REX): I AM REX DANGER. I CHOSE THIS LIFE...

Panel 2 - Close-Up of the rope tied to one of DESIRÉ’s arm, REX’s sword is about to cut it.

CAP (REX): AND IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY CHOICES...

Panel 3 - REX helps DESIRÉ off the altar, she is still sitting on it, with the blanket still covering her lower half.

CAP (REX): WELL...

Panel 4 - This panel should take up the majority of the page (the first 3 could be smaller panels tiered at the top, or even insets to this big one, at the top of it). We see REX in his “hero” pose. He has one arm around DESIRÉ, the other is forming a fist placed on his waist. DESIRÉ is has her arms hanging on REX’s shoulders, looking very sexy. The blanket that was covering her now lies in a heap on the ground, and we can see that DESIRÉ’s lower half is in fact snake-like. She is one of the SNAKE-MEN (or SNAKE-WOMAN, and a sexy one at that). The sun glints behind REX and DESIRÉ, giving the entire scene a very heroic feel.

CAP (REX): I’M NOT REALLY ASKING YOU, ANYWAYS.

The End
User avatar
Iron Syndicate
Just Registered
Just Registered
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:42 pm
 

 

Postby Trey of Diamonds » Sun Dec 03, 2006 8:35 pm

Good one. I get the feeling the captions in this one are very important. My only critical comment is that I would add a note near the beginning telling the artist and the letterer how you want the captions done, or if you giving them license, at least that there should be some emphasis on them. You certainly nailed the pulp genre but the twist at the end is what I love the most.
<> <> <> Trey of Diamonds <> <> <>
Traffic and Logistics Manager
Visionary Comics Studio
Creator of Mamluk and Cyra
http://www.comicspace.com/trey/
User avatar
Trey of Diamonds
Casual Poster
Casual Poster
 
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:26 pm
Location: Houston, TX
 

 

Postby Iron Syndicate » Sun Dec 24, 2006 3:29 am

Thanks Trey!

Much obliged
User avatar
Iron Syndicate
Just Registered
Just Registered
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:42 pm
 

 

Postby Bmat » Sun Dec 24, 2006 1:04 pm

The blade should scimitar-like, the kind a jungle explorer would use. We cannot see the blade’s wielder, as he the plants still hide him. missing a word, and an extra word

to should be too

behind on of the ruins,

get up as she is tied down a but awkward, maybe since she is tied down, or being tied down, she cannot get up.

He fires his pistol at one, and hits the SNAKE’s forehead, eliminate the first comma

It is enjoyable to read. You do a very nice job with the descriptions and the humor. I like it!
User avatar
Bmat
Super Moderator
Super Moderator
 
Posts: 5883
Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2005 5:31 pm
Location: East coast US
Blog: View Blog (10)
 

 

Postby Iron Syndicate » Sun Jan 07, 2007 5:38 pm

Thanks for the crit Bmat.

I'll make sure to change those mistakes...

glad you liked it!
User avatar
Iron Syndicate
Just Registered
Just Registered
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:42 pm
 


Return to Scripts

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron