Unexpected Tradgedy

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DarkFairy
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Unexpected Tradgedy

Post by DarkFairy »

Awww. Jonathen is taking his little sister, Rachel, on a picnic in the countryside. Unfortunately (well it's fortunate for Jonathen) a storm occurs and ruins everyhting.

Rachel: Isn't this nice, Jonathen?
Jonathen: (With sarcasm) Yeah. I've always wanted to go on a picnic surrounded by oh so pretty flowers.
Rachel: Well I'm having fun, and nothing can spoil this for me.
(Suddenly it starts to rain)
Jonathen: (Giggles) Spoke too soon.

(There was a strong gust of wind and lightning struck)
Rachel: The picnic blanket's getting away!
Jonathen: It's not the end of the world. Now come on, get your stuff together and lets go!

Being a goth, Jonathen often wore lots of metal jewelery, and metal attracts lightning.

Jonathen: (Pointing at a relatively high fence) There's a fence over there. We can easily climb over it and get home quicker.

(They rushed over to the fence)

Jonathen: (Starting to climb)I'll go first so I can make sure it's safe.[/i][/i]

As Jonathen got near the top, something terrible happend. He was struck by a bolt of lightning. He fell down. Rachel knelt beside him as his lifeless eyes were staring back at her.

Rachel: (Crying) This can't be happening! This can't be happening!

To Be Continued......
You Can fall from the sky.
You can fall from a tree.
But the best way to fall,
Is in love with me.

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Ariel
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Post by Ariel »

:shock:

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DarkFairy
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Post by DarkFairy »

Yes? :?
You Can fall from the sky.
You can fall from a tree.
But the best way to fall,
Is in love with me.

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Talon Sinnah
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Post by Talon Sinnah »

Sarcastically it is rather funny.
I am the poet of the body and I am the poet of the Soul. The pleasures of heaven are with me and the pains of hell are with me. The first I graft and increase upon myself, the latter I translate into a new tongue.

-Walt Whitman-

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DarkFairy
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Post by DarkFairy »

I've not written a single story or play that has a happy ending or without a goth.
You Can fall from the sky.
You can fall from a tree.
But the best way to fall,
Is in love with me.

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Chaeronia
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Post by Chaeronia »

DarkFairy wrote:I've not written a single story or play that has a happy ending or without a goth.


Time, then, for a new year's resolution?
'There's a vampire, dad. It's trying to get me.'
'I know, son,' he said softly. 'I saw it.'
'You saw it?'
'Yeah. I broke its bloody neck. I won't have no vampires in my house.'

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DarkFairy
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Post by DarkFairy »

No. I'll stick with my unhappy endings.
You Can fall from the sky.
You can fall from a tree.
But the best way to fall,
Is in love with me.

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Ariel
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Post by Ariel »

So continue on! :)

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DarkFairy
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Post by DarkFairy »

I'll do another one as soon as possible.
You Can fall from the sky.
You can fall from a tree.
But the best way to fall,
Is in love with me.

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Trey of Diamonds
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Post by Trey of Diamonds »

I love it! The to be continued does make me think zombie story for some reason. Looking forward to seeing more from you.
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DarkFairy
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Post by DarkFairy »

Trey of Diamonds wrote:I love it! The to be continued does make me think zombie story for some reason. Looking forward to seeing more from you.


How do you think I should start the next one?
You Can fall from the sky.
You can fall from a tree.
But the best way to fall,
Is in love with me.

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Trey of Diamonds
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Post by Trey of Diamonds »

DarkFairy wrote:
Trey of Diamonds wrote:I love it! The to be continued does make me think zombie story for some reason. Looking forward to seeing more from you.


How do you think I should start the next one?


That would depend on a lot of things. If you want to go with the Zombie angle, I would start with her crying, face in hands so she can’t see his glazed over eyes suddenly look in her direction. Then he would get up and start to move towards her, melted metal piercings still smoldering. At that last minute, she sees him and screams. After that, well, you know how Zombie stories go.

As a script this is a good idea but still unformated. We don’t know if it is for the screen or a comic book. You can continue to jot down the basic idea of your story in this method but eventually you will have to reformat it. Take a look at the other scripts in this section and you will see what I mean.

Take care and keep writing.
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Creator of Mamluk and Cyra
http://www.comicspace.com/trey/

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