Imprisoned

[aldan]

I agree with you about some of the rhyming in the poem, GE. It's a thing that I'm going to be going back over on a lot of these poems once I have the chance to do so and will begin striving to work on some of the lines to make the rhythm work better to accomplish what I wish in the poems.

Now, in this one I want it to NOT flow smoothly (to express the bumps and obstacles), and to seem a little disjointed in spots, but I also want some consistency throughout the poem as well, to maintain the impression of a single trail or way to reach the end. It'll take time that I can't spend on it right now, though, since I don't have access to a computer for more than 45 minutes total a day (or so). That will likely be changing soon, but until it does, I'm a bit stuck, since I can't take the time to study the poem to help me to decide what changes I can make to accomplish what I need to.

[Talon Sinnah]

Now, in this one I want it to NOT flow smoothly (to express the bumps and obstacles), and to seem a little disjointed in spots, but I also want some consistency throughout the poem as well, to maintain the impression of a single trail or way to reach the end.

This part I understand yet like my other post I do not understand the title. I personally would have picked different but in the words of a lit teacher of mine: Poetry was not meant to be understood.

[DarkFairy]

Nice poem.

[clknaps]

I liked it. As a I read it for some reason I was reminded of Frost's On Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. CLK