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Rain

A memorial tribute to the poetry of Aldan.

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Rain

Postby aldan » Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:41 am

Rain comes down,
Dripping, Plopping

Puddles form
On the walk

On the hour,
Talking, Laughing

Students smile,
Avoiding drops

Yet and still,
Splash the water

As they jest and
Move along

But I walk,
Lonesome shadow

Raindrops won't
Touch me strong

Yet when I
Pass the windows

'Flections glare
Right through me

I a ghost?
Not that I know

Still the students
Will not see


Step in the class,
Sit in back room

Hair drips like tears,
I weep my gloom
Last edited by aldan on Thu Apr 05, 2007 4:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain
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Postby Merle » Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:21 pm

That certainly conveys emotions, aldan. Well done. I hope not autobiographical?
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Postby Talon Sinnah » Fri Mar 30, 2007 7:09 pm

As do I my friend.


Very strong Aldan perhaps my favorite of yours.
I am the poet of the body and I am the poet of the Soul. The pleasures of heaven are with me and the pains of hell are with me. The first I graft and increase upon myself, the latter I translate into a new tongue.

-Walt Whitman-
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Postby aldan » Sat Mar 31, 2007 11:38 am

I speak of no car history, Merle. As for it being about myself... well, most of my poems have at least SOME ties to me.

To me, poems SHOULD communicate emotion, or they should communicate a total lack thereof (as a way of emphasizing the point you're making with the poem).

As for me, I'm currently NOT attending school, but I AM going to the local college to use their computers inside their library. I am thinking about going back to school, but I will likely not attend here in Utah, since I'm very close to finishing up my AA at college in California, and I'd like to finish it there, so that I can more easily transfer to a University....


As an FYI, when I wrote this, I had decided to really limit myself by using such a very strict format for the stanzas (two lines per stanza, with 3 beats on the first line, 4 on the second, then 3 and 3, and then repeat the pattern until finishing the poem). The final two stanzas are 4 and 4, 4 and 4. Why did I change? What does it do to you when you're reading it and you hit those last two stanzas? The rhyme scheme is a bit odd, in that only every fourth line is a rhymer. Of course, at the end, it changes a bit, to throw off that rhythm.
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Postby Talon Sinnah » Mon Apr 02, 2007 6:44 pm

Makes since to me. Good luck with school Aldan.
I am the poet of the body and I am the poet of the Soul. The pleasures of heaven are with me and the pains of hell are with me. The first I graft and increase upon myself, the latter I translate into a new tongue.

-Walt Whitman-
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