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Bloody words

A memorial tribute to the poetry of Aldan.

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Bloody words

Postby aldan » Sat Apr 07, 2007 3:32 pm

A single page of quality paper
Imprinted with ink of a single color
Or lack thereof, for it is black
As dark as the words in the verbal attack

The first several lines were intended to mock
All the reader's good deeds, attempting to shock
And hurt the poor one, causing him pain
Or even worse, to bring forth some shame

Then the insults meant to stimulate anger
Like a radio host who gets paid for his temper
The writer's mean words want to cause him to fall
To simply give up, to not give it his all

The harsher red words typed in darker black ink
Caused his ego to bleed and his good thoughts to sink
To a hatred of writer and then of himself
So he stopped writing, or making his wealth

"Success!" thinks the writer, for his cutting words
Have pierced the reader, attracting the birds
While trashing his ego and bumping up fears
Causing depression and weeping and tears

The condors now wait atop the concrete wall
The blood starts to flow toward where it will fall
From slashes on fingers and arms and on neck
Bloody paper's edges have caused this huge wreck.
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain
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Postby aldan » Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:17 am

This one's directed...
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain
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Postby clknaps » Wed May 30, 2007 6:53 pm


A rejection letter from an editor, maybe?

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Postby aldan » Thu May 31, 2007 10:10 am

*aldan whistles*
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain
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Postby RHFay » Thu May 31, 2007 11:13 am

aldan wrote:quot;]*aldan whistles*


Hmm...a pretty harsh rejection letter, if that's what this is about!

Did you actually get a rejection letter in the form of a verbal attack? If so, that was an unprofessional response. I've had some that rejected my work with helpful words of advice. I've also had some that reject my work with editorial comments about why they didn't choose the piece, and why they didn't think it was good enough for their publication, but no verbal attacks.

I know rejections can make you feel similar emotions to those described in the poem. You do have a knack for presenting emotions well. I especially like the idea that words can hurt worse than stones sometimes. They can strike deeper at a person's heart and soul.

One comment about the poem's structure; the rhyme seems less suited to this piece somehow. It's not bad with the rhyme, it just doesn't seem as appropriate here. It's somewhat subtle, so it's not overwhelming the poem, but I think this piece could do without it.

My first attempt at becoming a published poet, back in the early and mid nineties, was a dismal failure. Other than a few pieces published in a handful of questionable anthologies, I was rejected everywhere. Emotions like you describe in this poem did stir in my heart, and I felt every rejection was a personal attack. I tried to learn with experience not to always take them so personally, but it's hard! (I'm still working on developing a thicker skin regarding such things!)

(If this isn't about editorial rejection, then ignore my ramblings!)

Thanks again for sharing!

Cheers! :)
"I'm going to do what the warriors of old did. I'm going to recite poetry!" Andrew of Armar.
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Postby aldan » Thu May 31, 2007 1:36 pm

While it wasn't directly involved with publishing, this poem was strongly tied to the strong effect, positive or negative, that the words of one may have upon those who are not thick-skinned. Words are powerful, and can grab the emotions of those who hear or see those words, taking them captive metaphorically, and can be used to heal or hurt, to heat or cool. Those powers are ones that a writer needs to work to not only protect him/herself from, but also the writer really should work to have the self-control to avoid using those strengths to weaken others.
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain
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Postby RHFay » Thu May 31, 2007 3:00 pm

aldan wrote:While it wasn't directly involved with publishing, this poem was strongly tied to the strong effect, positive or negative, that the words of one may have upon those who are not thick-skinned.


Having been berated by a "dumb lunk" of a step-father during my childhood, and having faced a plethora of mean schoolyard abuse by my grade school and middle school classmates, I know quite well how much words hurt. The pain stays with you for a long, long time.

Cheers!
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Postby clknaps » Sun Jun 03, 2007 7:22 pm

aldan wrote:While it wasn't directly involved with publishing, this poem was strongly tied to the strong effect, positive or negative, that the words of one may have upon those who are not thick-skinned.


"Thick-skinned" people are just the ones who can hide it better. Words hurt, no matter what the temperament. Tis a good lesson for all of us to consider.

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Postby aldan » Mon Jun 04, 2007 9:39 am

Indeed. I was simply speaking of the more external effect that is seen in this poem, rather than the 'internal' damage that is often not seen until the damaged snaps, at which time it becomes visible very quickly and can be quite painful or deadly to others.
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
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---Mark Twain
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