Vee Tee

A memorial tribute to the poetry of Aldan.

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aldan
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Vee Tee

Post by aldan »

Dorm rooms
Students sleep as if they're dead
Pistol shoots
A violent alarm clock

Engineering classrooms
Measuring time and distance
Calculating trajectories
Impacting hearts and brains
As wishes fail

University
Universe City
One a specific place of learning
The other a galaxy, and more, of life
Life is learning
Death gives answers
Or ends the test without results

What is the answer...?
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain

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clknaps
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Post by clknaps »

I felt the imagery but I thought the piece needed more emotion. Strange no one has commented on it yet.

CLK
She sells seashells by the seashore.
Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
I shot the city sheriff.

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RHFay
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Post by RHFay »

clknaps wrote:I felt the imagery but I thought the piece needed more emotion. Strange no one has commented on it yet.

CLK


I actually read this one soon after aldan posted it, but I didn't know what exactly to say. This piece disturbed me; maybe it was the "lack of emotion". I felt especially disturbed by the connection to current events.

Disturbing can be a good thing in poetry; poetry should stir up emotions in the reader, and they don't have to always be "nice and pretty" emotions (I've been told that I create a great sense of doom and gloom in some of my poetry). However, I'm concerned this one may go a little too far in being disturbing. Again, it's only my personal opinion, taste's differ.

Cheers!
"I'm going to do what the warriors of old did. I'm going to recite poetry!" Andrew of Armar.

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aldan
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Post by aldan »

This one was an almost immediate reaction to the events of that day. I purposefully wrote it without using a lot of the emoting tools I normally use, working to give it a rather emotionless feel, while using that, along with the readers' memories of their feelings about the events, to evoke emotions. The poem's name, by the way, was a mix of the name Virginia Tech combined with our shortening of the word 'television'. VT is Virginia Tech, while TV is television, which is the method that most in this country used to find out about the events.

I was rather surprised that none had said anything about it prior to this, as well as seeing that not many had even looked at it.
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain

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