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Posted: Sat Apr 21, 2007 10:21 am
Roars in silence
Paint the morn
Screams of pain
Timed by triggers
Shuts the door.
Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 7:18 pm
And the usual Aldan confusing poem.
I tell you what let me play through this in my head and get back to you sometime.
Life is confusing right now.
Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 5:43 am
Whew, I thought I was the only one confused. I get the first line. Is the rest about gun shots???
"Single blast shuts the door" The final shot ends life? What? I'm so confused.
Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 11:58 am
Think of VT, and what the guy did.
Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 10:32 am
Well, I'm not so much confused by this as I'm disturbed by it. I seemed to understand your intentions, especially in light of recent events. It's not necessarily a bad thing when poetry is disturbing; it can stir many different emotions. I personally like writing dark horror poems.
If your using this poem to help express your emotions regarding recent events, then I applaude your efforts. That's one of the purposes of poetry, at least in my humble opinion.
Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 11:15 pm
Is paint the morn meaning short for morning or do you mourn?
Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 9:45 am
I used the word morn, meaning 'morning', but also meant it to give the impression of 'mourn', since that was the result of the 'painting'.
Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 10:16 am
aldan wrote:I used the word morn, meaning 'morning', but also meant it to give the impression of 'mourn', since that was the result of the 'painting'.
I was hoping that you had a double meaning there. Nice word play! That's the sort of stuff a lot of editors look for. They want you to use the language in unique and interesting ways.
Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 4:41 pm
Thank you. It's something I've been working with for awhile, and I like the results when I come up with some interesting 'double entendres' and whatnot. It gives me a feeling that there's more 'meat' available for the reader to partake in if they wish to truly absorb the poem.