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Rainbeau

A memorial tribute to the poetry of Aldan.

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Rainbeau

Postby aldan » Tue May 08, 2007 2:16 pm

Broken clouds leak,
Sprinkling the sun-lit lot.
Sparkling windshields glisten
On glowing, windswept streets.

Sun setting behind the peaks.
Light and dark contrast,
Serrated hills before black mountain
Slicing rays in delicate patterns.

Light refracted arcs aloft,
Yellow, orange and violet
From the ground, across and down,
Framing clouds that darken.

A couple steps from restaurant,
Arm in arm they tread.
Their large umbrella stops the rain
And frames them in clear crystal.

---------------------------------------------

This one was one that came to me as I was seeing, for the first time in my life, a complete (ground-to-ground) rainbow, unbroken. The playing light, the mountain and hills, they were all there to help me. It was not only beautiful, but also was there right on time to help me to come up with a more positive poem (which is a fairly rare occurance...).
Last edited by aldan on Mon May 21, 2007 9:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Ariel » Sat May 19, 2007 6:03 am

That was just lovely aldan. It painted a beautiful picture with words.
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Postby RHFay » Sun May 20, 2007 12:24 pm

Hi Aldan!

Definitely nice imagery in this one, and much lighter than some of your other pieces. The language is a bit different than what I would have used, but that's the good thing about having your own style! :)

Well done.

Cheers!
"I'm going to do what the warriors of old did. I'm going to recite poetry!" Andrew of Armar.
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Postby Grand Evander » Mon May 21, 2007 11:53 am

Really nice, aldan. To me, you've always been a sort of impressionist poet (forgive my intended misuse of the term). I get more of a sense of what you were feeling while writing than an understanding of what's being written about. It's an impression and I feel that makes the poetry more memorable. We get more of an insight into the speaker than the subject, and that to me makes for good poetry.

Good job!
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Postby aldan » Mon May 21, 2007 1:44 pm

Well, I do like to paint with words, so don't worry that you're offending me by calling my writing impressionistic, GE. I appreciate the feedback, especially on this poem, by all of you, because I've tended to have some difficulty creating truly positive-feeling poems recently. This one was one that I was trying to create, in a manner of speaking, and so I wasn't sure of how successful I was in truly bringing forth some positive energy and a lighter feel to this poem.
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Postby clknaps » Mon May 21, 2007 11:33 pm

Now this one I really, really liked. It made me feel like I was in a painting of a Paris cafe or something. Good stuff.

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Postby aldan » Tue May 22, 2007 4:43 pm

And what artist would you say that the style evoked in your mind?
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Postby clknaps » Wed May 30, 2007 2:16 am

aldan wrote:And what artist would you say that the style evoked in your mind?


Klimt or Van Gogh. Less Van Gogh because the imagery is so sharp and clear. Great colors, excellent poem.

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Postby aldan » Wed May 30, 2007 12:50 pm

*aldan bows, his left arm bent to his right at waist level, and his right arm sweeps the floor from left to right and then, fingers extended, keeps his right arm extended from the shoulder and pointed almost straight out and parallel to the ground*
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Postby clknaps » Wed May 30, 2007 6:37 pm

aldan wrote:*aldan bows, his left arm bent to his right at waist level, and his right arm sweeps the floor from left to right and then, fingers extended, keeps his right arm extended from the shoulder and pointed almost straight out and parallel to the ground*


Don't fall over! :)

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