Rainbeau

A memorial tribute to the poetry of Aldan.

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aldan
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Rainbeau

Post by aldan »

Broken clouds leak,
Sprinkling the sun-lit lot.
Sparkling windshields glisten
On glowing, windswept streets.

Sun setting behind the peaks.
Light and dark contrast,
Serrated hills before black mountain
Slicing rays in delicate patterns.

Light refracted arcs aloft,
Yellow, orange and violet
From the ground, across and down,
Framing clouds that darken.

A couple steps from restaurant,
Arm in arm they tread.
Their large umbrella stops the rain
And frames them in clear crystal.

---------------------------------------------

This one was one that came to me as I was seeing, for the first time in my life, a complete (ground-to-ground) rainbow, unbroken. The playing light, the mountain and hills, they were all there to help me. It was not only beautiful, but also was there right on time to help me to come up with a more positive poem (which is a fairly rare occurance...).
Last edited by aldan on Mon May 21, 2007 9:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Ariel
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Post by Ariel »

That was just lovely aldan. It painted a beautiful picture with words.

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Post by RHFay »

Hi Aldan!

Definitely nice imagery in this one, and much lighter than some of your other pieces. The language is a bit different than what I would have used, but that's the good thing about having your own style! :)

Well done.

Cheers!
"I'm going to do what the warriors of old did. I'm going to recite poetry!" Andrew of Armar.

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Post by Grand Evander »

Really nice, aldan. To me, you've always been a sort of impressionist poet (forgive my intended misuse of the term). I get more of a sense of what you were feeling while writing than an understanding of what's being written about. It's an impression and I feel that makes the poetry more memorable. We get more of an insight into the speaker than the subject, and that to me makes for good poetry.

Good job!

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Post by aldan »

Well, I do like to paint with words, so don't worry that you're offending me by calling my writing impressionistic, GE. I appreciate the feedback, especially on this poem, by all of you, because I've tended to have some difficulty creating truly positive-feeling poems recently. This one was one that I was trying to create, in a manner of speaking, and so I wasn't sure of how successful I was in truly bringing forth some positive energy and a lighter feel to this poem.
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Post by clknaps »

Now this one I really, really liked. It made me feel like I was in a painting of a Paris cafe or something. Good stuff.

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Post by aldan »

And what artist would you say that the style evoked in your mind?
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
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Post by clknaps »

aldan wrote:And what artist would you say that the style evoked in your mind?


Klimt or Van Gogh. Less Van Gogh because the imagery is so sharp and clear. Great colors, excellent poem.

CLK
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Post by aldan »

*aldan bows, his left arm bent to his right at waist level, and his right arm sweeps the floor from left to right and then, fingers extended, keeps his right arm extended from the shoulder and pointed almost straight out and parallel to the ground*
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain

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Post by clknaps »

aldan wrote:*aldan bows, his left arm bent to his right at waist level, and his right arm sweeps the floor from left to right and then, fingers extended, keeps his right arm extended from the shoulder and pointed almost straight out and parallel to the ground*


Don't fall over! :)

CLK
She sells seashells by the seashore.
Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
I shot the city sheriff.

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