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Some love-themed poems I wrote some time ago

Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 1:13 am
by aldan

Two babies, sitting in a crib,
Toddling, eating with a bib.

A girl and boy, in pinks and blues,
Tripping over their untied shoes.

The King and Queen, in front of all,
Dance while at the debutante ball.

The man and woman, hand in hand,
Exchange their vows and wedding bands.

The couple’s gray, their sun has set,
But love’s sweet bliss does warm them yet.



A candle stub sits forgotten and cold,
Dishes lay dirty upon the lace
And a lipstick-stained goblet flanks a corkless Merlot.
The fireplace is coals, the red light reflecting
Upon two quiet forms cuddled asleep on the loveseat.



A wild orchid
Dew spotted
Sun refracting
Bright as love
On Valentine’s morning



Light reflects on memories of your eyes;
Pools of brightness, I lose myself in their depths.
The feelings send me soaring through the clouds
And then I fall to be en-wrapped by your soul.


Symbols of Love

Chocolate for my sweetness, candles light my love,
Diamonds for eternity, just like the stars above,
Twelve roses show your loveliness that grows throughout the year,
And arms entwined have sleeves on them to wipe away your tears.
These things of ours, they show the way
To demonstrate our love today.


Bright Eyes

Watching you sway through the human tide,
Your grace gently mocks my clumsy gait
And your smile shines through my low’ring clouds,
Leaving me with my wonder as I walk beside you –
What do your bright eyes see in dark old me?


They were written actually about a year and a half ago, I guess, and were attempts to write short and different poems that painted pictures with words about love.

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 6:41 am
by Talon Sinnah
I would have to say you succeeded.

Well done.

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 10:06 am
by aldan
Thank you. I hope so. Failure is often useful, but success is nice.

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 2:51 pm
by Magus
They're really excellent. They do paint a nice portrait of human life. They actually seem to me some kind of Emily Dickens Poems... only I like them.


Keep up the excellent work and be sure to show us more of your work!

Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 1:37 am
by aldan
Which of them are your favorites and why? I would just like to see which are because I have my own, and I like to see how others' opinions compare with those in my own head and heart. I've got two there in that group that I prefer, but will only mention one - Coals, because I think that it makes a great vocal painting. I was trying to create a picture and a feeling... a 'scene' if you will, in only a few lines.

Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 10:33 am
by Ariel
Eyes and symbols of love.

Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 3:50 pm
by aldan
Would you like to say why? When I get your response I'll tell you what I like about those two. PM me if you don't want to say it "out loud"...

Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 5:54 pm
by Ariel
It's just so romantic. Deep sigh...

Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:16 pm
by aldan
I do think that Eyes has a very strong romantic feel to it, but also it has a bit of a sadness to it, or at least that is what I strove for.

As for symbols of love, that poem is my other favourite, because I feel that the poem is built upon those symbols that each had a strong tie to love, but in different ways. With the dozen roses, for example, well, it came to me that the dozen is the number of months as well, so that tied in well, and the living beauty of roses before they are picked, well, the growth worked with that as well. Each worked like that for me, and I was able to come up with that poem in about a total of maybe 20 minutes. *click* is what it did. I was on a bit of a roll at the time, and it came through for me.

This is not braggadocio, by any stretch. I'm as in amazement that it happened as anyone else who might be, or perhaps even more...

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 9:24 am
by Magus
I like the first one best. It's so short, so concise, and yet in its short verse it so accurately paints the lives of two lovers. I just thought it was beautiful in its technical simplicity but thoughtful complexity.

Then second comes "Coals". I just liked the imagery you used there.

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 1:20 pm
by aldan

Thank you. Coals is one of my faves here, but you're right about the first one, as I was striving to maintain the simplicity. It was part of the idea that even though love can go on throughout a lifetime, it doesn't need complexity, and yet it will still bloom with the most gorgeous of blossoms...

Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 5:23 pm
by Magus
I can only say that you succeeded in your goal, then. It's really wonderful.