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The Key

A memorial tribute to the poetry of Aldan.

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The Key

Postby aldan » Sat Sep 24, 2005 8:33 pm

The Key

I walk door to door and street to street
Searching, looking for the key
I meet a man, a woman, child
They do not have one; it drives me wild
So still I wander, peeking in
Seeing naught but reflected sin
And giving up, in frustration
I sit on a bench in ruination
My gloom clouds grow
And dire winds blow
As I stew in my brew
Of dark doom

Then amidst my black thoughts
A ray of light comes
She sits by my side
And asks where I’m from
She brightens my day
And banishes clouds
She burns through the overcast
And makes me laugh loud
Her name is a song
Her voice is of birds
She makes me feel happy
With all her sweet words

Her eyes have locked mine
Her hands have mine tied
Our feet are entwined
But my heart is unlocked
And I am set free
For deep in my heart
She found the key
Last edited by aldan on Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain
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Postby Magus » Sun Sep 25, 2005 9:12 am

It's a good poem. It seems especially clipped, but it looks like that was what you were going for. Again, awesome poem.
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Postby aldan » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:49 pm

I have added two lines to the end of the poem, the last two lines. What do you think? I know that it goes from a non-rhyming stanza in the first three lines of this one, to a rhymer for the final four, now. I sha'nt say why, but tell me what it did for you.
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain
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