Hood

A memorial tribute to the poetry of Aldan.

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aldan
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Hood

Post by aldan »

I leave the house
The screen door bangs
Shut in the flies
Walk down the path
Can't avoid the cracks

I step the sidewalk's center
Sunburned children's skins flake away
A father threatens his teen son
While mother works her second job
Dad leaves for the bar, the son searches rooms

Car exhaust makes me cough
A can kicked to the curb
Rolls by a rotting cat
Dead fur floating in the wind
Catches in a thistle's stickers

I clench my pocketed flipblade tightly
Walking near some 'bangers
Thumping their bass and twisting hats
Jagged cursive yelling spreads
But still I go onward

A stray bullet catches my neck.

The sun sets darkly.
Last edited by aldan on Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain

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Bmat
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Post by Bmat »

What a bleak comment on life! Well done!

(Maybe you'll want to change "trod" to "tread" to keep the tenses the same?)

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aldan
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Post by aldan »

Thanks for noticing the inconsistency on that, Bmat! Looking at it, though, and sounding it out in my head, 'tread' just doesn't work for me, so I think I'll go with a 'step' instead.
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and to appear stupid than
to open it and remove all doubt."
---Mark Twain

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Ariel
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Post by Ariel »

Well done indeed! :wink:

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