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Rojoshom
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Terra Futura

Post by Rojoshom »

TERRA FUTURA

FADE IN:
A television studio, with live audience. MODERATOR sits on stage behind desk, guest ZOMBIE CHENEY
sits in nearest of two chairs to MODERATOR'S right. Both MODERATOR and ZOMBIE CHENEY,
as well as the audience members and studio crew, are zombies. They are broadcasting the show, by unknown future technological means, to a past audience in hopes of warning them of the danger they are in.

MODERATOR:
Good evening, glad to have
you with us. This is
Terra Futura, future earth.
We come to you from
the distant future. Where
once this earth was a thriving
garden, it is now a
burned-out shell of a
graveyard.
(gestures behind
to the backdrop of a shattered cityscape)
And, as you may have already
surmised, we are not truly alive.
You see, we are the undead,
the walking dead, made this
way by long practice of
environmental degradation
and nuclear wars. And
all this, thanks in part to
my next guest. When he
was alive, he was the
Vice-President of the United States
at the beginning of the
twenty-first century. And
where heart attacks and thoughtless
stupidity couldn't kill
him, the destruction of the earth
under his watch could not either.
So, please put your hands
and stumps together, you
ghouls, for former Vice-
President Zombie Cheney.

(Applause and hoots erupt from the studio audience)

ZOMBIE CHENEY:
Thanks for having me, as the
wandering beggar said to the
group of starving children at
dinner time.

(Zombie Cheney laughs, in character, out of the side of his mouth)

MODERATOR:
(does not laugh, merely views his guest
askance, recoiling a bit,
with a sour look on
his face)
Yes, well, let's get to the
issues at hand, er, before
us. As you're aware of the
format of this show,
we bring on past leaders such
as yourself to let past
audiences know what our
guests did to destroy
their lives and world.

ZOMBIE CHENEY:
Yes, har-har, yes.

(Zombie Cheney snuffles into his clenched, mutilated fist)

MODERATOR:
That is, we project our broadcast
into the past to allow those
viewers a glimpse of what
is in store for them.

ZOMBIE CHENEY:
Of course, of course,
couldn't have said it
better myself.

(Zombie Cheney snorts in self-amusement)

MODERATOR:
Of course not.
(he views Zombie Cheney
with distaste for a moment,
then continues)
So, to start, let me ask you ...
what was it in your
childhood, your upbringing,
that led to your later
inconsiderate, destructive
behavior?

ZOMBIE CHENEY:
Well, look now, I
think that question is
phrased a little --

MODERATOR:
(he cuts Zombie Cheney off)
Just answer the
god damned
question!

(Moderator snaps at Zombie Cheney and scowls, the audience jeers)

ZOMBIE CHENEY:
Now then, I
don't really care
what people think --

MODERATOR:
(he cuts Zombie
Cheney off)
Apparently not.
(he looks into the
camera)
Folks, we'll let
our guest try to gather
what's left of his wits
while we take this short
commercial break
sponsored by,
'Duggard's Dig 'Em Up
Flesh Repair.'

FADE OUT.

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