Frodo McKraken's Most Useless Magical Items Shoppe

[SirJill]

Ring of the Lords - It's, um...shiney.

[Talon Sinnah]

Pestering Sword:-sings I have a song that will get on your nerves constantly.

[Spiderkeg]

I'm going to steal this idea and post from World of Warcraft, because it's damn funny.

The 1 Ring
Increases all Stats by 1.

Inscription reads: "Not quite as good as the 2 Ring"

[aldan]

The B Ring - this article of cheap finger jewelry will, upon speaking the command, "Bring me _<item to be brought to ring owner>_", leave the finger of the person commanding the ring and will go along at a slow traipse to retrieve an item once in possession of the commander of the ring. The B Ring cannot be commanded to travel to another place to let the item be dropped there or to wait there for the master, but instead will travel at its slow rate of speed toward where the ring owner currently is located. During the time of travel, the ring is visible, but cannot be touched (as if it was an illusion), and upon retrieval of the item to be brought to the owner, causes that item to also become intangible, though still visible. Such a state makes it easy to follow the ring owner, though the slow travel rate of the ring and item makes it not a very effective method. Note that the ring and item will not travel in or across any area that the ring owner would be unable to pass through.

[Qray]

Necklace of the Orator - When worn will allow you to speak in other languages with ease. Unfortunately, the language you speak is determined by the necklace and is always a language that no one present will understand.

+5 Axe of the Duck Reaver - Yup, you heard me, a +5 Battle Axe that will split a foe (or anything it hits) completely in half on a natural roll of 18, 19, 20 regardless of opponents HP, AC, or special resistances. Unfortunately, it only works if it's being wielded by a duck.

Zinkrogs's Coin of Tipping - This platinum coin (it's platinum only when it's found) randomly and frequently transmutes from one metal to another.

Arrow of Bmlykm -An arrow that when it strikes, instantly heals the damage it inflicts.

[Ranryu]

Ring of the Sleepless Wearer of the ring will not sleep as long as ring is worn. Wearer of ring will die in less than 2 weeks due to fatigue.

Skeletal Key of the Liche Will fit and unlock any locking mechanism be it physical or Magical. Deals lethal damage to user ever time it is used.

Assassins Bane A dagger that Enchants bearer with invisibility and perfect stealth. Bearer is unable to carry any other weapon what so ever. Every time bearer is near a target or enemy the dagger emits a bright pulse of light and sings various songs which bearer can not see nor hear.

[FantasyMan]

I Win - Is a magical elixir that makes the user a winner.

[KillRoy]

Dragon drops
-Helps cool nasal passages
-soothes sore throat pain
-Relieves cough

Results may vary

[Talon Sinnah]

Flag Bearer Shield: A shield of light with a twenty foot radius that only lets the flagbearer stay safe if he don't move.