Mamluk Sample

Television, movie and comic scripts.

Moderator: Bmat

Post Reply
User avatar
Trey of Diamonds
Casual Poster
Casual Poster
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:26 pm
Location: Houston, TX
Contact:

Mamluk Sample

Post by Trey of Diamonds »

Greetings everyone,

I know that this site is pretty much all prose but I wanted to share an excerpt from my up coming Military Sci-Fi comic called Mamluk and mention the fact that we are still looking for an artist. If any of you are a comic artist or know a comic artist, a new classified on the subject should hit the Digital Webbing Talent Search http://www.digitalwebbing.com/talent/ soon. Any who are interested can PM or email me at Trey.Wickwire@gmail.com

This sample is from the 48 page script that debuts the series. I use a graphic to show the panel layouts and positions and can’t post it here so please forgive my brief layouts. Also, I have an extensive Creator’s Bible that details personnel, equipment, technology, etc, so some of the descriptions here are based on the fact that the artist will have the bible and the rest of the script.

This part of the story takes place after a pirate attack on a Mamluk fleet. After the battle a crashed pirate cruiser is found on a planet and a Ghost Squad of commandos is dispatched to recon the area and possibly capture some of the pirate officers.

Enjoy and please offer any comments that come to you.

PAGE FORTY

Panel Layout Plan

Six evenly spaced panels.


PANEL ONE
The Mamluk Ghost Squad has disembarked from the assault shuttle. They stand in three loose groups of five. The three team leaders confer as they prepare to split up. Between them is a small floating sphere that is projecting a transparent hologram of the crash site. Johansson is using it for a reference.

JOHANSSON: Chief, you take your team northeast, Gunny your southeast while my team heads east.

PANEL TWO
Mustafa and Brice from Johansson’s view with the hologram between them.

JOHANSSON: The two of you will have to quicktime it to get in flanking position but no shortcuts.

PANEL THREE
Close up of the crash site hologram. Perimeter guards should be highlighted in red. These can be silhouettes or wire frames or real life. Artist’s choice.

JOHANSSON: These guys have proven they are no amateurs and naval cruisers carry marines so we could be looking at real pros.

PANEL FOUR
Close up on Johansson’s face.

JOHANSSON: Now the old man wants prisoners so that’s what we’re going to give him.

PANEL FIVE
Back to the hologram. Johansson is indicating positions in the hologram with either a finger or a knife. The position he is pointing at should have a line of fire on the guards outlined in red.

JOHANSSON: Once the two of you are in position here and here, give me a heads up on the command channel. On my return signal you open up on the pickets, give them something to think about while we sneak in and try to get some officers.

PANEL SIX
Johansson is taking the sphere out of the air as he wraps up the briefing. The hologram is off or switching off if you can show it.

JOHANSSON: If opportunity presents itself, capture some of their pickets but they are not the main objective. Understood?

MUSTAFA: Aye, Aye Sarge!

BRICE: Sir, yes sir!

JOHANSSON: All right troops, lets move out.


PAGE FORTY-ONE

Panel Layout Plan

Five panels, the first is page width. The second is small and followed by a larger panel. Below, panel four is large and five is small.


PANEL ONE
Johansson and a team mate are overlooking a crashed cruiser in a jungle. The area north of the crash is swampy and the area south is heavy jungle. There are aliens standing guard, they look tough and professional. Their uniforms are non-military and look pieced together. Mostly civilian starship garb. A trail has been cut through the jungle to an underground bunker. A steady stream of wounded personnel are being transported from the cruiser to the bunker.

SOLDIER: What now sarge?

JOHANSSON: We move down by the bunker entrance and wait. Closed comms from now on.

PANEL TWO
Johansson and his team are hiding near the bunkers entrance. Either a guard or someone moving a wounded pirate can be shown near by.


PANEL THREE
Sergeant Brice is moving his people into position south of the crash. They are moving though heavy jungle. One soldier is kneeling and looking through some large leafed plants at some. Maybe we can see some guards or parts of there uniform through the vegetation. The ghost squad is now communicating in a closed comms situation meaning they are communicating through their nanites without voice. Some kind of SFX maybe necessary to show that this is a soundless communication. I leave it to the artist to explore the methodology for showing this. (in other words, I am passing the buck to the genius of the artist.)

CAPTION (Closed Comms): Alpha team, this is Charlie team, we are in position.

PANEL FOUR
Sergeant Mustafa is moving his people into position north of the crash. This side of the crash site is more swampy and the team is moving through some water. Maybe show some nasty water creatures.

CAPTION (Closed Comms): Alpha team, this is Beta team, we are in position.

PANEL FIVE
Johansson motions his fireteam forward.

CAPTION (Closed Comms): All teams, this is Alpha leader, initiate contact, sigma one. Repeat initiate sigma one.



PAGE FORTY-TWO

Panel Layout Plan

Three panels stacked, each the full page width.


PANEL ONE
Mustafa’s team north of the crash opens fire on the guards.

CAPTION (Closed Comms): Beta two, this is beta four, watch your six.

CAPTION (Closed Comms): Beta four, got’em.

CAPTION (Closed Comms): Beta four on your eight, keep alert.

CAPTION (Closed Comms): Roger that.

PANEL TWO
Brice’s team south of the crash opens fire on the guards.

CAPTION (Closed Comms): Charlie five, this is Charlie one, give cover fire to Charlie three.

CAPTION (Closed Comms): Charlie one, Charlie five acknowledges.

PANEL THREE
In the confusion, Johansson’s fireteam kill the guard as they slip into the bunker.

CAPTION (Closed Comms): Alpha team, move out.


PAGE FORTY-THREE

Panel Layout Plan

Four panels. The first is page width, two and three are in the middle and the fourth is page width across the bottom.


PANEL ONE
Johansson can see a wireframe layout of the bunker in front of his eyes. It shows a room not far from the entrance that is blinking red. This is the communications room and there first target.

PANEL TWO
Johansson’s team is discovered by alien pirates rushing down the hall.

CAPTION (Closed Comms): Alpha two, cover fire now!!

PANEL THREE
Bullets fly and several hit the Mamluks. Most bounce off but a couple take hits. The Mamluks hit barely notice it.

CAPTION (Closed Comms): Alpha team, enemy fire is limited and low tech. Proceed to objective.

PANEL FOUR
In the communication room an alien is speaking into a comms unit. He is talking to the damaged cruiser outside.

PIRATE: They’re here! They’re here!!
<> <> <> Trey of Diamonds <> <> <>
Traffic and Logistics Manager
Visionary Comics Studio
Creator of Mamluk and Cyra
http://www.comicspace.com/trey/

User avatar
Trey of Diamonds
Casual Poster
Casual Poster
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:26 pm
Location: Houston, TX
Contact:

Post by Trey of Diamonds »

Well, I finally signed an artist for Mamluk and I guess patience pays because I found a great one in Steven Yarbrough. Here is the announcement I just made on my creators thread:

http://www.visionarycomics.com/v2/forum ... .php?t=213

We are going to have our own section of the forum and a blog soon for samples so I will keep you posted on that.
<> <> <> Trey of Diamonds <> <> <>
Traffic and Logistics Manager
Visionary Comics Studio
Creator of Mamluk and Cyra
http://www.comicspace.com/trey/

User avatar
Trey of Diamonds
Casual Poster
Casual Poster
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:26 pm
Location: Houston, TX
Contact:

Post by Trey of Diamonds »

Hello everyone,

Visionary Comics Studio has been kind enough to offer me a staff level position with the studio and I jumped at the chance to become more involved. My title will be the Traffic and Logistics Manager or T&L for short. They summed up my duties as such:
Trey Wickwire will be coming on board as our Traffic and Logistics Manager. His job will be to be in communication with all active studio members regarding deadlines on projects. Essentially he will be overseeing the flow of projects, ensuring all deadlines are being met and that any stumbling blocks are dealt with as best as possible quickly in order to get back on track.
Visionary Comics is really taking off, look for our first two publications this month.

Soulstar: The Dreaming, a 6 page preview in the back of Markosia’s Smoke and Mirror #1.

In the Demon’s Path, a 6 page short story in the back of Markosia’s Project Eon #3.

For more info check out our website:

http://www.visionarycomics.com/
<> <> <> Trey of Diamonds <> <> <>
Traffic and Logistics Manager
Visionary Comics Studio
Creator of Mamluk and Cyra
http://www.comicspace.com/trey/

User avatar
Trey of Diamonds
Casual Poster
Casual Poster
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:26 pm
Location: Houston, TX
Contact:

Post by Trey of Diamonds »

The Mamluk Blog is now up and running, complete with some artwork samples.

http://www.vcsmamluk.blogspot.com/

We also have a Mamluk forum at Visionary.

http://www.visionarycomics.com/v2/forum ... m.php?f=37

Things are really moving fast now, next stop, the shelf at your local comic shop.
<> <> <> Trey of Diamonds <> <> <>
Traffic and Logistics Manager
Visionary Comics Studio
Creator of Mamluk and Cyra
http://www.comicspace.com/trey/

User avatar
Poisonbabyfood
New User
New User
Posts: 46
Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2006 2:10 pm
Location: Beirut, Lebanon

Post by Poisonbabyfood »

I'm diggin' it. And the artwork on the blog looked fantastic. I'm getting a 2000 AD and Warhammer 40K have a *beep* child vibe.

A couple of observations.

The first commands he gives, "go south," "go southeast," seem a bit too general for a military operation, especially for hardened soldiers. How far south? How far south east? A seasoned commander would know EXACTLY where to tell his soldiers to go, down to the meter.

Being specific would be essential for him to keep his troops alive. Little tweaks like that, while not glaring, can add to the story's effectiveness by making it that more convincing.

So, any idea on when this bad boy publishes?
It is quite true that the clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.

User avatar
Trey of Diamonds
Casual Poster
Casual Poster
Posts: 126
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:26 pm
Location: Houston, TX
Contact:

Post by Trey of Diamonds »

Poisonbabyfood wrote:I'm diggin' it. And the artwork on the blog looked fantastic. I'm getting a 2000 AD and Warhammer 40K have a *beep* child vibe.

A couple of observations.

The first commands he gives, "go south," "go southeast," seem a bit too general for a military operation, especially for hardened soldiers. How far south? How far south east? A seasoned commander would know EXACTLY where to tell his soldiers to go, down to the meter.

Being specific would be essential for him to keep his troops alive. Little tweaks like that, while not glaring, can add to the story's effectiveness by making it that more convincing.

So, any idea on when this bad boy publishes?
Thanks bud, glad you liked it. These commands are general because the distances are preloaded into their nanite packs and the south and southeast is more of a you take the high road and you take the low road detail. The use of nanites will be much more apparent in the full blown version of the story.

I am hoping to hit the shelves next summer. My artist, the excellent Steven Yarbrough, is busy with it as we speak. We also have a 6 page preview story that will hopefully be in the back of a Markosia title some time early next year.

Thanks for reading and commenting, keep an eye on our website for more preview art soon.

Trey
<> <> <> Trey of Diamonds <> <> <>
Traffic and Logistics Manager
Visionary Comics Studio
Creator of Mamluk and Cyra
http://www.comicspace.com/trey/

Post Reply